Doosra Annual Awards 2018 (UNESCO certified)

That time of the year again.

Here goes Doosra Annual Awards 2018.

And remember, UNESCO has recognised it as the best set of awards!

Begana Wedding of the Year that had entire India Subcontinent Deewana ~ Virushka.

Kneeanderthal of the Year ~ Priyanka Chopra, for outraging a Sanskari nation by wearing a knee-length dress to a meeting with the PM.

Thesaurus Sale Booster of the Year ~ Shashi Tharoor, for his exasperating farrago of rodomontade and much more.

Best Kept Secret of the Year ~ Location of Virushka Wedding.

Worst Kept Secret of the Year ~ Rahul Gandhi's promotion.

The Annual Celeb-Kid-Shoved-Down-Our-Throat ~ Taimur Ali Khan.

Human Sriharikota of the Year ~ Salman Khan, who is launching his brother-in-law in Bollywood.

Neptune of Nepotism of the Year ~ Karan Johar, for launching yet another pair of Bollywood star kids -- Janhvi Kapoor and Ishan Khattar.

Disowned Loose Cannon of the Year ~ Mani Shankar Aiyyar.

Dogman Of the Year ~ Gurmeet Ram Rahim.

Ideal Neighbour of the Year ~ Sri Lanka, for continuing with their India tour even after their cricketers choked in toxic Delhi air and vomited their inside out.

Most Anticipated and Pending Return of the Year ~ A three-way tie featuring Black money from Swiss banks, Vijay Mallya and Lalit Modi.

Titanic Of the Year ~ RBI as its reputation hit the demonetisation iceberg and sank without trace.

Harry Houdini of the YearStudent of the Year ~ Virat Kohli, for successfully dumping 'headmaster' Anil Kumble.

Vincent Maruti Van Gogh of the Year ~ Mamata di, for her paintings like this.

Fickle Friend of the Year ~ Nitish Kumar, for dumping RJD.

Lord Hanuman of the 22 Yards ~ Rohit Sharma, for torching Lanka here and here.

Worst Investors of the Year - 'Padmavati' producers.

7 cricketers on Osama bin Laden’s death

1. Sachin Tendulkar: I have a strong stance on this issue. I strongly feel Osama’s death is either good or bad for us. It just can’t be anything else even though we should not rule out other possibilities. If you ask me, I think it’s essentially a relative subject and so Osama’s relatives can better answer it. Osama was apparently staying in a stone hut in Tora Bora. When people throw stone at you, you turn them into milestone. Instead, Osama turned it into a stone hut and I think that tells everything;

2. Rahul Dravid: Who died isn’t important here. One should not think about individuals, team always comes first. What’s important here is a death has taken place which means the global population has just shrunk and the air available for human consumption will be relatively higher. Besides, I think it would allow batsmen to concentrate better. I remember I was batting against Sachin’s son in Mumbai when the Americans were bombing Afghanistan and it greatly affected my concentration. The only time I had a similar problem was in Sydney when a whale rather loudly exhaled in the adjacent Tasman Sea just when I was taking guard;

3. Shahid Afridi: I’m happy like nobody’s business. When I speaked that Indians not having big hearts and we having, people moleculed me…or is it ridiculed? Whoever…Now see which country gave Laden shelter? I feel…I feel… vindictive…the media will now eat dumbbell pie;

4. Anil Kumble: I see beyond Osama’s death and what stirs me is the inequality of the contest. The US Military and the Al Qaeda were fighting and I’m sorry to say only one team was fighting in the true spirit. Our Bangalore Royal Challengers owner Vijay Mallya has naturally taken interest and promised to reduce the spirit deficit;

5. Sourav Ganguly: I’m really aghast. I think Obama is selling us dummy. I’ve been tipping them that bin Laden was masquerading as Greg Chappell but they did not listen. I’m not convinced that bin Laden is dead;

6. Shoaib Akhtar: Dude, America is not like Pakistan. America is in America and unlike Pakistan, there people don’t celebrate when their presidents die. USA losing president like Osama is like Pakistan losing me;

7. Shane Warne: Heard the guy was living with his youngest wife. Got her number mate?

Exclusive: How Lalit Modi was suspended!

(Vijay and Siddharth Mallya suspend Lalit Modi in Monaco)

Well, when you take such an inverse view of things, no wonder all you want is to turn the world upside down. 
 
Pardon the poor quality of the pix. But then, some say, the man is hardly any better.

Pix courtesy: Lalit Modi

How KKR can still win IPL III

Apparently, we have seen the last of KKR in IPL III.

Ganguly’s rare athleticism, Gayle’s blings and shades, McCullum’s tattoos, Shah Rukh Khan’s soppy tweets, Juhi Chawla’s smiles that actually met at the back of her head, the foulness of the jersey's colour scheme…nothing could bring home the bacon.

But not everything is lost yet. Miracles do happen, although not as frequently as Lalit Modi’s Twitters.

With a pinch of enterprise and bit of luck, KKR can STILL win IPL III and here is how.

1. First the cinch. SRK unleashes a charm offensive and convinces Herr Lalit Modi to pluck Ramalinga Raju out of Chanchalguda jail and entrust him with the number-punching job.

It would take some persuasion indeed but once achieved, the only job left would be to put the bubbly on ice for an April 25 uncorking. Golly!

2. SRK gets Fuhrer Modi to tweak the rules and decide that the title would go to the team owner with most Tweets against his name. And no prize for guessing that SRK wins hands down here. Yippee! 

Of his rivals, Nita Ambani apparently reckons Twitter is another oil company owned by her husband and you can’t blame her for that. Among others, Preity Zinta suspects Twitter is a sequel to ‘Twister’, Vijay Mallya is cocksure it’s an F1 videogame while Shilpa Shetty believes it’s a reality show and is in fact planning to sue the racist producer for leaving her out.

3. SRK seeks divine intervention and the script goes along these lines.  Ganguly and gang are, as his wont, late in arriving for the prize giving ceremony at DY Patil Stadium and a devastating earthquake gobbles up other seven teams.

Deals have been signed and TV rights have been peddled. So Monsieur Modi sees no other option but to handover the title to the lone survivors KKR, who go home praising Ganguly’s vision. Whoopee!

4. IPL turns out to be actually a Karan Johar movie in which SRK looks utterly unconvincing and sensationally silly all along but still ends up on the winning side in the end.

7 players and why they hit IPL jackpot

1. Kieron Pollard: To fill the Resident Hairdo Weirdo's post lying vacant since Robin Uthappa left Mumbai Indians;

2. Shane Bond: To bolster West Bengal Police which cut such a sorry figure against the Maoists;

3. Mohd Kaif: Owes his contract to misunderstanding. With Preity Zinta nursing a sore heart, Kings XI Punjab wanted an actress for their new video and thought Katrina Kaif was on offer. Ms Zinta later strongly resented this skullduggery by Lalit Modi;

4. Eoin Morgan: A man of well-known scruples, Vijay Mallya wanted a Catholic taster for his breweries. Besides, he was under the impression that the stripling was ICC chief David Morgan's offspring;

5. Damien Martyn: The mothballed veteran was plucked out of retirement to fill the babysitting void at Rajasthan Royals since Kamran Akmal was not at hand;

6. Wayne Parnell: Delhi Daredevils could not get over its infatuation for players nicknamed 'Pigeon';

7. Yousuf Abdulla: Hear it here first. A grateful Lalit Modi paid the money from his pocket as a Thank-You gesture to South Africa for hosting IPL II.

A whiff of IPL in F1

The resemblance is so uncanny and I'm not alluding to the picture above but trying to make a point.

A crap outfit owned by a fat, flamboyant tycoon fond of booze, babe and bling.

So profound is self-doubt that they can't win even when served on a platter. Butt of all dirty jokes around.

The only gain from Season One is the backmarker's tag that hangs like albatross.

Season Two and the innocuous-looking David pulls off shock of the season and slays unsuspecting Goliaths to finish second best!

And the guy who led the turnaround is on the wrong side of 30s.

Is it IPL 2 or Formula 1?

Is it Force India or Royal Challengers Bangalore?

And does Anil Kumble know Giancarlo Fisichella?

In these turbulent times, lay-off maybe of the essence. But Mr Mallya, retain the guy whoever is writing your script.

P.S. What a relief, I don't have to credit the picture! On your right, Force India driver Fisichella. On your left, the driving force behind Doosra. Their paths crossed in 2007 Australian GP.

P.P.S. After the Belgian GP, both Mallya and Fisichella talked to a few of us from Spa-Francorchamps through teleconference. After Fisichella had won the pole position on Saturday, Mallya described it the most memorable day of his F1 career. I inquired if he would issue a correction now.

"Can't really swap it, you know. Pole position was an achievement in itself and would go down in history. Similarly today's podium finish would also go down in history," boomed the husky voice. So eat your heart out because your history book just got fatter.

7 reasons why Bangalore Royal Challengers won’t win IPL II

1. Spirit is volatile and it doesn’t last the whole nine yards;

2. Vijay Mallya has got the right men but in wrong places. For instance, Adrian Sutil spins more than Anil Kumble, while Rahul Dravid drives better than Giancarlo Fisichella;

3. You don’t open a cola bottle with Praveen Kumar but BRC can open their batting with him!

4. Ray Jennings has complained to Mallya that Jesse Ryder has not attended a single net session and is often spotted flirting with a particular Mischief Gal;

5. BRC looked a Test team in IPL I and resembles an ODI outfit in IPL II. In other words, the T20 metamorphosis is still some distance away;

6. Virat Kohli has an ego problem with spinning balls;

7. Business magnates have a penchant for bouncing cricketers’ WAGs on their knees – medics call it Stanford Syndrome -- and that explains the hurry of the BRC players to return to the pavilion.

Crystal ball gazing: Strategy Breaks in IPL II

Purists have already booked their preferred burial place but the thing ticking inside Lalit Modi’s skull can't wait to put them to sleep. Cricket luddites can go and fly a kite, Strategy Breaks are here to stay! At least till May 24.

Fuhrer Modi decrees there will be a seven-and-half minute break after every 10 overs so that Virender Sehwag can pop on your screen with a wig, MS Dhoni peddle a pesticide in bottle and Sachin Tendulkar try to convince about a bank that you just can't bank on.

Crystal ball gazing can be as much a puerile pleasure as cricket ball gazing and Doosra predicts how the following seven players would use the Strategy Breaks during IPL II:

1. Rahul Dravid: Having hit a miscued six before the break, he would shrink apologetically in his boots and shudder at the very thought of looking at himself in the mirror after this felony;

2. Harbhajan Singh: Banished to the solitude of deep third man, Bhajji would chase terrified teammates and empty his pocket to convince them that he has no hit-list this year;

3. MS Dhoni: Will rush to the coiffeur waiting just outside the rope for a new haircut resembling his wagon wheel;

4. Andrew Flintoff: Will inform Vijay Mallya about his readiness to join Bangalore Royal Challengers provided he is offered the blind-tasting job at any of his breweries for the rest of the year.

5. Ashok Dinda: Will be frogmarched off the ground for scratching all four of his quibbling Knight Riders captains;

6. Sourav Ganguly: Of them all, only Dada would be strategizing. He will tell L R Shukla, Wriddhiman Saha and Debabrata Das exactly how much they would get for switching off the dressing room light and putting a sack over John Buchanan’s head so that he can bean the Aussie.

7. Shane Warne: Would fish out his cell and frantically type a series of lewd text messages for plump British nurses before pressing the wrong button and sending it instead to his estranged wife Simone.

Rainbow chasing Poms dealt a raw IPL deal

Unscrupulous IPL cheerdealers have settled for the sunnier South African climes in the Rainbow Nation. But as anyone with an ounce of conscience left in his soul would agree, the Poms clearly had a more rightful right to host IPL II than the Proteas.

In their haste to settle for South Africa, Lalit Modi & Co failed to appreciate British PM Gordon Brown’s recent rejection of Chief Medical Officer Sir Liam Donaldson’s suggestion to hike booze price, undoubtedly a nefarious attack on Britain’s bottled tradition. Gordon suspects Donaldson was under the influence of alcohol when he made the remark.

At least Vijay Mallya should have pointed out the development to Modi but Doosra learns the Bangalore Royally Challenged owner was apparently too engrossed planning the shooting for the 2010 Kingfisher calendar to heed the development.

From logistics point of view, England clearly held an edge over South Africa, only if Modi could grasp. The fact is there was simply no need to fly in cheerleaders in UK. Denied pay hike, one million British nurses, midwives and doulas are ready to shake a leg and it was just a matter of bearing with their ages.

Being the most famous midwife himself – telling all the time how busy he is ‘delivering’ a world class IPL – Modi’s apathy towards his own tribe is simply appalling and borders on back-stabbing.

From socio-ethnic point of view, IPL simply missed a chance to become a landmark social movement. Mark my words, history will barbeque Modi for squandering a golden opportunity to set the British society right.

IPL matches in England would have lured the youngsters out of their homely comfort and curbed the beleaguered nation’s burgeoning teenage mother population. But Modi chose otherwise and the red-faced Brown government fears the depressed teens may go berserk after conceding IPL to South Africa.

And not to forget the legacy of Jade Goody. A goggle-eyed nation stuck glued to the idiot box following Goody till it became England’s national pastime. Goody’s premature demise has not only left vacant slots in the national prime time but also created a sudden void in the nation’s pursuit of morbid obsessions. British eyeballs are desperately seeking more and more deathly stuff and butchering of the bowlers called IPL would have perfectly fit the bill.

But again, Modi remained indifferent. And so was Shilpa Shetty, despite owing her fame, fiancé and twang to Goody.

Last but not the least, this was also IPL’s chance of shattering a local myth that has started spreading roots in the British collective psyche following England’s triumph in Providence by providence – that every win necessitates an arithmetically challenged coach in the opposition camp.

Since my last post...

1. Brad Haddin has discovered the 11th way a batsman can get out;
2. Daniel Vettori's SMS to Haddin created frictions, sending sparks flying all over Australia. Doosra understands once the Victorian bushfire is under control, Vettori will be chargesheeted for arson.
3. It took a president, a shaman and a coiffeur to make Lasith Malinga's return from wilderness possible;
4. Rajasthan Royals ensured the support of Indian truckers, Richard Gere and subsequently HH Dalai Lama in this year's IPL by selling stakes to Shilpa Shetty;
5. Shah Rukh Khan's Kolkata Knight Riders helped Bangladesh double its Gross National Income by buying Mashrafe Mortaza.
6. West Indies unleashed an Australia-bred White West Indian, Brendan Nash, and a 6’7” high-extension tower in Suleiman Benn, whose deliveries, Poms claim, come like oracles from heaven;
7. Kevin Pietersen convulsed with laughter after he: i) topscored for Poms in the Sabina Park massacre; ii) derived sadistic pleasure as Strauss’ captaincy honeymoon got over before it started; and iii) found Vijay Mallya has emptied his pocket to engage his service.

WHODUNNIT!

So cricket got its own Ben Johnson. Of course this is not the first time. Remember how we had to digest a World Cup sans Shane Warne? And a Champions Trophy without Shoaib Akhtar and Mohd Asif?

But then what’s World Cup or Champions Trophy vis-à-vis IPL? These are mere bagatelles, compared to the blockbuster that IPL is -- a veritable cricket Olympic with a slightly altered view on its frequency. Industrial baron Lalit Modi is cricket’s answer to Baron de Coubertin.

While IPL fountainheads are yet to lay all the cards on the table, the million dollar question is whose sample proved positive? Doosra looks at the options.

1. Shane Warne: Sick and tired of dal-bati-churma, Rajasthan’s Most Famous Son (he beat Greg Chappell in a photo finish) sent an SOS-SMS from his legendary cell phone (which has scalped as many victims, especially plump English nurses, as the spinner himself) to cricket’s second most famous mother (after Jane Boycott). Soon flew in a Qantas-load of baked beans and a familiar jar. Well, the Australian’s doting German mother thought his son was through with international cricket, so why care? After all, mom’s love knows no bound, WADA or not.

2. Shoaib Akhtar: Well, how else you expect a thirtysomething pacer to react after he is slapped a five-year ban? The ban simply left him fuming and smoking. The fault anyway lies with the appellate tribunal which still contrived a way to allow him grace the IPL when he was least expecting it.

3. PCB Appellate Tribunal Members: Even Shoaib Akhtar vouches they hardly looked in their senses when they waved the green signal for the Rawalpindi Express to chug into IPL.

4. Vijay Mallya: Even the cruellest of hearts would admit that the thrashing which the Bangalore Royal Challengers were receiving with an alarming regularity was reason enough to escape from harsh realities and hallucinate .

5. Lalit Modi: Mr Mint-in-Suit, are you sure it's not yours? After all, old habits, they say, die hard.

Martin, eat crow

Provocation often comes from unexpected corners and in this case, Martin Crowe’s observation – Dravid had the 7th best side to work with in IPL – provided the fodder for thought.

Martin prepares a list where he meticulously catalogues what ailed the Bangalore Royal Challengers -- Murphy’s Law, Katrina Kaif’s omnipresence, Nargis (not the actress but the cyclone), soaring oil price, aftermath of China’s earthquake, Arushi Talwar’s assassins, Vikash Yadav, Dawood Ibrahim, Osama, ISI, CIA…

To cut it short, it’s apparently a tsunami—oops forgot to say, that too features in the list -- of reasons that swamped the side in the IPL.

A look at the list and you nod your ahead in appreciation and utter a word. Comprehensive.

Just pray it convinces Vijay Mallya, who is in a foul mood following a fresh USD 5 million jolt after Kimi Raikkonen ended Adrian Sutil’s dream run in Monaco Grand Prix.

Indeed, you can’t blame Mallya for feeling that Martin’s cousin Russell would have done a better job, making gladiators out of the Bangalore players, while adding glitz at the same time. And Russell too was interested in IPL, even though as franchise owner.

Seventh best team to work with Martin? I thought every team started equal and only after the league phases ended that calculators – in their case fingers sufficed – were out, points were tallied and teams were ranked accordingly!

Selective amnesia, Martin?

Flashback May 5 and Martin crowed in this interview “This team is my ideal IPL team.”

May the real Martin come out, please?

He lends shoulder to Dravid and says The Wall had a poor team to start with. But who picked the team in the first place? Mallya said Dravid went ahead with his own list, completely ignoring the players he wanted. And we are yet to hear a denial from Jammy.

Trying to lend a helping hand, Martin only invites more eggs and rotten tomatoes for Dravid.

Dravid maintains IPL has been a learning curve. I guess the lessons include -- why search for foes when you have friends like Martin?

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Indian Premier League: Circa 2011 and beyond

I didn’t see CNN’s ‘Talk Asia’ programme which featured IPL ring master Lalit Modi this weekend. For that matter, I haven’t seen any of the episodes, even if that makes me lesser a human. And to be honest, I don’t see myself seeing any of the ‘Talk Asia’ episodes either, of course unless I figure there.

But as a professional hazard, I read the transcript and found that during the course of answering a series of ego-massaging questions, Modi said he envisages two IPL seasons in the same year from the fourth edition onwards.

When not cricket ball, crystal ball gazing is my favourite pastime and allow me take a sneak peak into the future of IPL:

1. Sreesanth will be slapped twice a year and the PDCB (Prabhu Deva in Cricket Boots, for those who came in late) would maintain that Harbhajan is like his elder brother;

2. The contract for Bhajji, assuming he still finds a taker, would replace the mandatory post-match handshakes with a folded-hand namaskar and any deviation from there would incur immediate termination of the same;

3. Meanwhile, all roads would lead to Mohali as players, arms wide spread, would make a beeline for Kings XI Punjab, obviously drawn by the hugly incentives from the franchise owner;

4. Kolkata Knight Riders coach John Buchanan will take the opportunity to publish sequel of his “If Better Is Possible” in the Australian embassy. Shane Warne will once again buy a copy, tear the pages, make a kite and fly it over Sawai Mansingh Stadium;

5. Modi will depose in the Court of Arbitration for Sport, explaining why cheerleaders’ presence cannot be construed a performance-enhancing substance;

6. Darren Berry will stay put in Jaipur to issue travel advisory that India had become a dangerous place to visit since a kid burst two firecrackers somewhere in Mizoram;

7. Vijay Mallya will ask Mike Gascoyne to tutor Bangalore royal Challengers on how to get fast off the block;

8. Grandpa, I mean Glenn McGrath would still look inconsolable after conceding 11 runs off his four overs;

9. Sachin Tendulkar would insist that even though teammate Arjun Tendulkar outscored him, he still has lot of cricket left in him;

10. Shoaib Akhtar would manoeuvre his way to IPL, pointing out the precedence set by the previous appellate tribunal which had spared him for the previous drug offence which incurred him a previous life ban.

Image: Daily Mirror

Welcome to Cricket Inc, and that’s the way out gentlemen

# Australian players yet to see the money they were promised
# Kolkata Knight Riders shows the door to five players
# Royal Challengers Bangalore jettisons Charu Sharma
# Team Mohali asks fringe players to shift to less-opulent hotels

Well, I don’t expect foreign imports to be jolted out of their illusion of a dollar deluge yet. But by now, some of them must have regained enough sense to realize that the Indian Premier League is not exactly the El Dorado.

But to be honest, they are not the only ones who felt the moneybag franchise owners have ankle-deep pockets. So did we. And some of the players clearly saw only the chequebook on one hand of their owner, completely overlooking the whip on the other. Suddenly, quite a handful of them have been driven out of their comfort zone.

Welcome to Cricket Inc. Perform of perish.

Behind her bubbly eyes, Preity Zinta is as much an entrepreneur as her thoroughbred fiancé; beneath the veneer of his charm, Shah Rukh Khan is a fierce salesman who has succeeded in monetizing a dimpled smile; and for the Ambanis and Mallyas – they have been schooled to believe that loss is essentially a four-letter word, which also happens to be the eighth deadly sin.

With IPL reaching its business end, and this is the apt phrase, now it’s clearly showing who’s the boss. With Charu Sharma went out a clear message for Dravid, Kallis, Ponting, Laxman as well as Cheteshwar Pujara and Ranadeb Bose. It’s out and out a cut-throat business proposition. No wonder, Shah Rukh is dealing in flying kisses these days, and Preity in hugs. Mallya apparently doesn’t care a hoot for niceties and Ambani does not think it worth making an appearance in the venues. Wife Nita, no wonder she handles charitable arm of Reliance industries, is representing the family these days.

Well guys, welcome to Cricket Inc. and that is the way out. Thank you very much.

The buck-bucking brigade and the Fifth Great Awakening

Let’s start with the admission that we have been so blinded by the IPL razzmatazz that we simply did not bother to look beyond. But truth, whether noticed or not, remains truth and the fact is away from IPL’s obnoxiously materialistic hullabaloo, England has recently witnessed a spiritual awakening among its cricketer.

Survey revealed Australian players are actually Fousts in Flannels who were already planning to hard sell their souls to Mephistopheles Modi. The lure was enough to rob the Rahul Dravids and VVS Laxmans of their sang-froid and make them believe IPL is their cup of tea and not woes. Sky-gazing Zoologists rubbed eyes in disbelief as Kiwis flew in flocks to hit pay dirt and even the inscrutable PCB contrived a way to allow Shoaib Akhtar, the Nizam of Foofaraw, join the romp.

But all along, English players resisted the temptation to join the Gold Rush and like Odysseus’ sailors, plugged their ears with beeswax and escaped the Sirens (it’s not Vijay Mallya’s imports stupid, I’m talking about the original cheerleaders from Odyssey). First it was Ravi Bopara, then Sajid Mahmood and now Luke Wright (see how it cut across religious believes?) has announced that he too has turned down an IPL offer.

Poor rich Mr Modi, your brainchild has no takers in this part of the globe, for the lure of moolah doesn’t work here. It’s a Robinson Crusoe economy where you can glue together all your currency notes and fly a kite. Now if that is not a spiritual awakening then what?

Next time they walk out in the middle, concentrate and I’m sure you would find the halo around the entire England squad.

And let me pre-empt your design to prove me wrong. What about Dimitry Mascarenhas, isn’t it? Dear, exception does not negate the rule, it only proves it. And how much English is an English cricketer, who has a Russian name, is of Sri Lankan-Tamil heritage, grew up in Australia and volunteered to be spoilt by his Australian captain in the Hampshire dressing room?

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Indian Premier League woos celebs, biz bigwigs

The suspense is over and BCCI has finally laid the cards on table. Shahrukh Khan, Mukesh Ambani and Vijay Mallya have bagged some of the bids and it would be interesting to see how they fare in this uncharted territory. Analysis can wait, let's get the facts first.

I Thought I should share the BCCI release that landed in my inbox with you all (excerpts):

• Bids were received from: Red Chillies Entertainment, DLF, UB Group, Deccan Chronicle Holdings, GMR Holdings, RIL, India Cements, Deutsche Bank, Emeralds Telecoms, Priety Zinta and Emerging Media (UK).

• Late bids were received from: Sahara India, Future Group, ICICI Ventures

IPL Franchise Winners Are (And How Much They Are To Shell Out)

• Delhi – GMR Holdings at USD$ 84 m

• Mumbai – RIL Pvt Ltd at USD$ 111.9 m

• Chennai – The India Cements Ltd at USD$ 91m

• Bangalore – UB Group at USD$ 111.6 m

• Mohali – Preity Zinta/Ness Wadia/Karan Paul/ Mohit Burman at USD$ 76 m

• Jaipur – Emerging Media at USD$ 67 m

• Hyderabad – The Deccan Chronicle at USD$ 107.01

• Kolkata – Shahrukh Khan/Juhi Chawla/Jay Mehta at USD$75.09m

Some other points:

• Each Franchisee bid to own teams in any 8 of the 12 cities that satisfy the eligibility criteria

• The 12 cities are: Kolkata, Mumbai, Ahmedabad, Chennai, Bangalore, Cuttack, Kanpur, Gwalior, Mohali, Jaipur, Delhi, Hyderabad

• IPL has contracted the Top 80 Players according to ICC Rankings

• The IPL Player Auction to be held in Feb ’08, and will allow each Franchisee to bid for the Indian national team and overseas players contracted by the IPL

• A maximum of 8 overseas players will be allowed per Franchisee

• The Franchisees in consultation with IPL will finalize the appropriate Names for the Teams

• Team Names will be associated with the city or area they are based in

• The tournament will begin on 18th April ‘08

• There will be 59 matches spread over 44 days, with 2 matches every Saturday and every Sunday

• IPL franchisees to get following returns:

• 1. Central revenues:

• a. 80% of TV revenues in Yrs 1-5, and 60% from Yrs 5-10

• b. 60% of Sponsorship revenues from Yrs 1-10

• 2. 100% of Local revenues: Gate revenues, Franchisee Shirt sponsorship, Local sponsorship, Licensing programme, Uniform Merchandising, Hospitality and Premium seating, Match-day Concessions, Match-day promotions, Franchise media platforms.

• Till Date IPL has successfully raised a total of USD$ 1.749 billion which is INR 6996 crores.

Shah Rukh to buy IPL team, no hope for Tendulkar

Well, Russell “Gladiator” Crowe is not the lone actor, who is bidding to buy a team for next year’s Indian Premier League (IPL). According to reports, Shah Rukh “Chak De” Khan is among 90 people who have made a beeline to buy a franchise in the BCCI-conceived, ICC-backed Twenty20 extravaganza.

And media reports also claimed that Kishore Biyani’s Future Group was in talks with Sachin Tendulkar to convince for a joint bid to buy the Mumbai team. BCCI, however, has scuttled the move, making it clear that it won’t allow any of the current players to have stake in any of the teams.

Meanwhile, England-based industrialist Lord Swaraj Paul is reportedly interested to buy a team, as are liquour baron Vijay Mallya and Anil Ambani. English Premier League, some guys from the American National Basketball Association, couple of foreign banks and handful of investment bankers also harbour the same hope.

Naturally, BCCI Vice President Lalit Modi, mastermind behind the IPL, is sporting an ear-to-ear smile these days. Modi maybe a sworn enemy of Jagmohan Dalmiya but much like the wily Marwari from Kolkata, this firebrand BCCI official surely knows how to mint money.

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