Preity Zinta and her struggle to stay positive

Stripped of captaincy, your marquee player sulks all day and then sneaks out of team hotel in the dead of night.

The new captain feels awkward and doesn't even understand the language he is lampooned in.

You have an Englishman who just didn't want to be here before lucre did him in.

The long and short of it is that you find yourself pretty much in a hole.

So what do you do? You tell yourself you won’t cave in and remain positive, come what may.

Sensible indeed, one has to concede.

But getting an HIV positive woman to toss the coin! Isn’t it stretching the positive stuff too far Ms Zinta?

Indian Premier League: Circa 2011 and beyond

I didn’t see CNN’s ‘Talk Asia’ programme which featured IPL ring master Lalit Modi this weekend. For that matter, I haven’t seen any of the episodes, even if that makes me lesser a human. And to be honest, I don’t see myself seeing any of the ‘Talk Asia’ episodes either, of course unless I figure there.

But as a professional hazard, I read the transcript and found that during the course of answering a series of ego-massaging questions, Modi said he envisages two IPL seasons in the same year from the fourth edition onwards.

When not cricket ball, crystal ball gazing is my favourite pastime and allow me take a sneak peak into the future of IPL:

1. Sreesanth will be slapped twice a year and the PDCB (Prabhu Deva in Cricket Boots, for those who came in late) would maintain that Harbhajan is like his elder brother;

2. The contract for Bhajji, assuming he still finds a taker, would replace the mandatory post-match handshakes with a folded-hand namaskar and any deviation from there would incur immediate termination of the same;

3. Meanwhile, all roads would lead to Mohali as players, arms wide spread, would make a beeline for Kings XI Punjab, obviously drawn by the hugly incentives from the franchise owner;

4. Kolkata Knight Riders coach John Buchanan will take the opportunity to publish sequel of his “If Better Is Possible” in the Australian embassy. Shane Warne will once again buy a copy, tear the pages, make a kite and fly it over Sawai Mansingh Stadium;

5. Modi will depose in the Court of Arbitration for Sport, explaining why cheerleaders’ presence cannot be construed a performance-enhancing substance;

6. Darren Berry will stay put in Jaipur to issue travel advisory that India had become a dangerous place to visit since a kid burst two firecrackers somewhere in Mizoram;

7. Vijay Mallya will ask Mike Gascoyne to tutor Bangalore royal Challengers on how to get fast off the block;

8. Grandpa, I mean Glenn McGrath would still look inconsolable after conceding 11 runs off his four overs;

9. Sachin Tendulkar would insist that even though teammate Arjun Tendulkar outscored him, he still has lot of cricket left in him;

10. Shoaib Akhtar would manoeuvre his way to IPL, pointing out the precedence set by the previous appellate tribunal which had spared him for the previous drug offence which incurred him a previous life ban.

Image: Daily Mirror

Past masters pass muster

The show was over. The old tricksters counted the coins, put the wares back in the sack, bowed one last time and left for good. Or so we thought.

It took Shane Warne and Glenn McGrath, the Kangaroo partners-in-crime for donkey’s years, an IPL to prove that they still have an ace up their sleeves.

On a format that perceives bowlers as cannon-fodders, mere props to massage the ego of the author-backed willowers in an obscenely lop-sided script, the necromancer and the metronome yet conjured up something outrageous, almost a rebellion against the rule of the game.

As if to make public his displeasure over the role assigned to his tribe, McGrath produced a maiden over, with a wicket to boot, in the Delhi Daredevils-Rajasthan Royals match and then Warne came up with a three-wicket haul against Kings XI Punjab that not only set the tone for the team’s first win, but also seemed his note of dissent to the rule-makers’ idea of the game.

It was a delight to see that through with the hustle and bustle of international cricket, the duo still retains the old charm. The tricks they picked, perfected and practised throughout their distinguished career still linger, almost like bad habits. Well, Twenty20 will still remain a batsman-biased business but they at least managed to dilute my cynicism.

Image: Phill Hillyard