Sreesanth Limerick

There was a madcap called Sreesanth
Who courted trouble almost every month
He took money to give runs
And then broke into a dance
Until jail became new home of that Sreesanth.

There wasn't just enough Pran

A guy in his 20s, with gloved hands, pushed the wheelchair into the room at his Bandra residence. Pran Saab did look old but not without some of the glamour that lit up the silverscreen for decades. The metal frame of his specs gleamed, the shawl that wrapped his frail frame looked elegant and there was nothing really amiss.

This until I&B minister Manish Tiwari handed over the citation and put the medallion around Pran Saab's neck. The man didn't even blink. Pran Saab sat motionless, seemingly aloof from the occasion he himself had necessitated. An actor didn't emote. That too when receiving the premier recognition of his supreme ability to do just that. Cruel old age has taken its toll on him.

The guy with gloved hands dabbed a hanky on the corner of his wet mouth. An elderly woman whispered something into his ear and, for the first time, Pran Saab's pupils dilated. Even the upper lip slightly twitched. That's it.

His family gathered around him for a group photo with the minister, elated at the recognition of one of India's most liked performers whose primary on-screen job, rather ironically, was to try and be as much disliked as possible.

Done with the group photo, the minister stepped forward to address the media scrum, articulating how the awardee had enhanced the award's stature.

The melee of family members gathered to form a wall behind the minister, shielding Pran Saab from vision. The TV channel cut away to a panel discussion on what they have been calling Railgate and you felt a distinct relief.

For it made painful viewing where the cruelty of old age overshadowed what should have been a celebration of Indian cinema and one of its most beloved sons.

There was just not enough Pran on that occasion.

Nehru appears in PM’s dream, resents being called Chacha!

Prime Minister was deep in his slumber when Jawaharlal Nehru appeared in his dream and below is what transpired between them:

Nehru: Sonny boy, do you recognise me?
PM: Oye! Roshan Seth!

Nehru: (Sighs). Oh boy! No idea what are you blabbering about. I’m Nehru, Jawaharlal.
PM: Otteri! Sorry sir, please don’t mind. Dreaming without my specs on, you see. But Chacha Nehru in my dream!

Nehru: Cut the crap. Precisely what I hate.
PM: What’s the matter Chacha Nehru? You seem upset about something?

Nehru: Can you please stop calling me Chacha?
PM: But why? Gandhiji is the Father of the Nation and you are the Uncle! Like Uncle Ho of Vietnam.

Nehru: Yes but have you noticed the disturbing trend of rogue nephews?
PM: Your nephew had rog? You mean disease?

Nehru: I mean rogue. Can you please be a little less funny?
PM: Sorry Chacha…err…I mean sir. But I didn’t get you.

Nehru: Let me explain. Your agriculture minister’s nephew wanted to urinate on damn. Your railway minister’s nephew took bribe. Your cricketer’s nephew tweets something to nearly trigger a diplomatic row with Pakistan. And you want me to remain the Uncle of this loony nation?
PM: Get you point sir. Indeed, tough time for the uncles of this country. Even my government’s predicament pales in comparison.

Nehru: Glad you understand that. As a former Prime Minister, can I ask for a favour?
PM: You embarrass me sir. Just order me.

Nehru: Can you make it illegal to call me Chacha?
PM: Hmm. But people would be intrigued and ask me why.

Nehru: Come on. You seldom talk anyway. So what’s the problem? Can’t you do this much for me?
PM: Ok sir. My government has done lot more sillier, inexplicable things. Guess one more won’t do any harm. I’ll go ahead and table a bill tomorrow.

Nehru: I’m greatly relieved. Can’t thank you enough. I know I put you in a spot.
PM: Don’t worry sir. Even if people ask me why I introduced the bill, I have a ready-excuse.

Nehru: And what's that?
PM: That my nephew brought the bill and it was not me!

IPL Limerick : Sir Ravindra Jadeja

Sir Ravindra Jadeja is no cipher
He's Superman or Batman can't decipher
He got his knighthood
Back in his childhood
When he walked into Buckingham in diaper.

Limerick

There's this North Korea brandishing nuke
Which they bought or devised by some fluke
Their leader in Pyongyang
Rather fat, silly and young
Sports a hairstyle that makes many puke.

IPL Limerick

There is this Kohli of Delhi
Who has surplus fire in belly
To prove he's no sissy
He does MC-BC
The remarkable Kohli of Delhi.

16 incredible Ravindra Jadeja facts you didn’t know!

1. Ravindra Jadeja cracked the joke that made Mona Lisa smile. She otherwise was in a real foul mood;

2. Ravindra Jadeja doesn't smile, he's way above these emotions. He just checks in our eyes if his teeth are clean and bright;

3. Ravindra Jadeja walking on earth is an optical illusion. He actually handwalks on sky;

4. Ravindra Jadeja once got into a heated argument with a mute and used three blind beggars as eyewitnesses when the brawl reached court;

5. Ravindra Jadeja once scared a snake so much that it instantly developed legs and simply ran away;

6. Ravindra Jadeja once bowled an eight-ball over with eight different balls, which are still spinning. We call them planets;

7. Ravindra Jadeja wears his shades on his head to send the message to the aliens that he's constantly monitoring their movement;

8. Ravindra Jadeja is younger than his younger brother;

9. Ravindra Jadeja chews drinking water into atoms before swallowing them;

10. Ravindra Jadeja can wear his shoes first and socks later;

11. Ravindra Jadeja's hairs cut themselves;

12. Neil Armstrong was hesitant about stepping on Moon. Ravindra Jadeja pushed him from behind;

13. Ravindra Jadeja doesn't take a fishing rod to fishing. He just scatters his visiting cards on water and fishes reach his home;

14. Ravindra Jadeja has sung a playback song in a silent movie;

15. Ravindra Jadeja goes to a shop to sell things;

16. Ravindra Jadeja went to school so that others could study. Him.