The IPL animal farm and an African safari

Lalit Modi visited the Kruger National Park. Big deal. I visited the Rhino and Lion Nature Reserve, roughly 40 km north-west of Johannesburg, more or less at the same time. And like him, I returned to tell the tale.

Modi had the chutzpah to post the vlog (video blog, for the uninitiated) of his African safari on the official IPL website! A lesser freeloader, I’ve got a blog of my own for that.

Cutting out the crap, IPL was the recurring theme in my mind during my African safari, and even when I was roaming around in the streets of Johannesburg, armed with my camera.

My skills, or rather lack of it, with the camera may not give even a Chunky Pandey, let alone Mike Pandey, a good run for money but if Modi doesn't care, so do I.



Pix 1: Sheepskin Sleepers at J’burg flea market. Shopkeepers vouched supply was directly proportional to the KKR fleecing in IPL.



Pix 2: A foodstall banner outside Wanderers taken way too seriously by some batsmen.



Pix 3: Where Jesse Ryder would invariably be spotted banging his head against wall, demanding extension of the happy hours.



Pix 4. Scientific evidence of how KKR inaction...KKR in action, I meant...can be the answer to insomnia.



Pix 5. Kishen Kanhaiya of Fake IPL Player fame. My guide gave this startling piece of information that male Ostrich's thigh turns pink when it's ready for mating. Quite a sensible thing. Since it allows she-Ostriches to either steer clear or get close to the male. A similar system in human society would have been handy. Indeed, the human superiority blabbering is nothing but vainglory.



Pix 6. Rhino Dada. You need a hide like his to cop so much of humiliation and still hang around.

Finally a video. May look like the future of some of the IPL franchisee owners but actually Zulu dancers!

Welcome to Cricket Inc, and that’s the way out gentlemen

# Australian players yet to see the money they were promised
# Kolkata Knight Riders shows the door to five players
# Royal Challengers Bangalore jettisons Charu Sharma
# Team Mohali asks fringe players to shift to less-opulent hotels

Well, I don’t expect foreign imports to be jolted out of their illusion of a dollar deluge yet. But by now, some of them must have regained enough sense to realize that the Indian Premier League is not exactly the El Dorado.

But to be honest, they are not the only ones who felt the moneybag franchise owners have ankle-deep pockets. So did we. And some of the players clearly saw only the chequebook on one hand of their owner, completely overlooking the whip on the other. Suddenly, quite a handful of them have been driven out of their comfort zone.

Welcome to Cricket Inc. Perform of perish.

Behind her bubbly eyes, Preity Zinta is as much an entrepreneur as her thoroughbred fiancé; beneath the veneer of his charm, Shah Rukh Khan is a fierce salesman who has succeeded in monetizing a dimpled smile; and for the Ambanis and Mallyas – they have been schooled to believe that loss is essentially a four-letter word, which also happens to be the eighth deadly sin.

With IPL reaching its business end, and this is the apt phrase, now it’s clearly showing who’s the boss. With Charu Sharma went out a clear message for Dravid, Kallis, Ponting, Laxman as well as Cheteshwar Pujara and Ranadeb Bose. It’s out and out a cut-throat business proposition. No wonder, Shah Rukh is dealing in flying kisses these days, and Preity in hugs. Mallya apparently doesn’t care a hoot for niceties and Ambani does not think it worth making an appearance in the venues. Wife Nita, no wonder she handles charitable arm of Reliance industries, is representing the family these days.

Well guys, welcome to Cricket Inc. and that is the way out. Thank you very much.