Showing posts with label Lasith Malinga. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lasith Malinga. Show all posts

Tuesday, 18 August 2015

9 Facts About Retiring Kumar Sangakkara


1. He studied law and is a champion sledger but never called anyone Habeus Corpus or Quo Warranto, or even Certiorari;

2. In his teen, he was known as Kishor Kumar or the Young Kumar;

3. Contrary to perceptions, he has no kids with Mahela Jayawardene;

4. His brilliant 2011 MCC speech made so much sense that MCC had to rent a warehouse to store them;

5. In a 2000 survey, 67% Sri Lankans said they needed Sangakkara as much as they needed O2. Rest said they don’t need O2;

6. The only genuine blot in his otherwise stellar career is his failure to convince Lasith Malinga to shun ghastly hairdos;

7. He dropped wicketkeeping not because of increased workload but because he felt he was being too greedy – already a top batsman and trying to become the top stumper as well;

8. The Battle in Lanka would not have occurred at all had he been around. Sangakkara would have convinced Ravan that wife-stealing amounted to serious breach of the ICC Code of Conduct and that he should not expect any favour from Ranjan Madugalle;

9. In 2000, as a neighbourly gesture, Colombo offered India to pick one Sri Lankan to represent them. New Delhi originally wanted Sangakkara but a clerical mistake in the External Affairs Ministry left India with Jacqueline Fernandez instead.

(Pix:VHIZZ)

Sunday, 15 February 2015

World Cup Day 1: 7 Observations

1. Aaron Finch gives the impression that he spends leisure time skinning wild buffaloes alive with a blunt knife;

2. As captain, Eoin Morgan now has more ducks than you can hope to find in a rural Bengal pond on a given day;

3. Freed from captaincy, Morgan can express himself better. As Hollywood would vouch, what suits England most is a Morgan Freeman.

4. Mitchell is Australia’s answer to Bollywood’s Rahul. Mitchells comprised 3/11th of the Australian line-up;

5. Steven Finn’s hat-trick will go down in history as a cricketing feat as memorable as something which presently escapes my mind;

6. Sri Lanka’s 98-run defeat to New Zealand is their worst since going down to Lord Ram;

7. Mahinda Rajapakse’s defeat appeared to hang heavily on Lasith Malinga’s mind.

Friday, 12 March 2010

Crime and Punishment II

PCB wants us to believe that the Greenshirts are basically a cloak-and-dagger society. And that the innocent pastimes of its denizens include spiking each other’s drink, garnishing a teammate’s salad with generous sprinkling of potassium cyanide and frequent negotiations with the upcoming hit-man of the neighbourhood with the photo of a teammate in pocket.

Priceless drivel!

Doosra reveals the actual crimes of the Sullied Seven of Pakistan Cricket and also suggests suitable alternative punishments.

1. Younis Khan:
Crime: Tendency to quit captaincy at the drop of the hat.
Punishment: PCB should once again place the skipper’s cap on his head, having dipped its inside in Fevicol this time.

2. Mohd Yousuf: 
Crime: Inability to convert starts into big knocks.
Punishment: Should be forced to keep converting, from Islam to Falun Gong, from Falun Gong to Pow-wow, from Pow-wow to Seicho-no-Ie…the idea is to keep going.

3. Shoaib Malik:
Crime: Lack of commitment.
Punishment: Should be forced to marry, this time in person, the Hyderabadi girl he had once reportedly married over phone before remorselessly selling her down the river. Once you learn the value of commitment in personal life, it automatically spills over to cricket.

4. Rana Naved-ul-Hasan:
Crime: Wearing the ugliest wig in cricket.
Punishment: Should be made to share a dormitory with Lasith Malinga till an inferiority complex gets the better of his sang-froid.

5. Shahid Afridi:
Crime: Borrowing opium from Asif that led to a hallucination in which a cricket ball appeared as an apple.
Punishment: His daily net session should begin with 500mg of unalloyed Tamarind juice, a proved antidote, shoved down his protesting throat.

6. Kamran Akmal:
Crime: Trying to give the impression that orthodontic brace industry simply doesn’t exist in Pakistan.
Punishment: His contract should have an additional clause empowering PCB to use his dental excess for outdoor advertising.

7.Umar Akmal:
Crime: Putting brotherly love ahead of team interest.
Punishment: Should be asked to memorise the full name of the Fijian cricketer IL Bula and write it 10 times before he is allowed in the nets. (By the way, Bula’s surname is Talebulamainavaleniveivakabulaimainakulalakebalau)

Wednesday, 11 February 2009

Since my last post...

1. Brad Haddin has discovered the 11th way a batsman can get out;
2. Daniel Vettori's SMS to Haddin created frictions, sending sparks flying all over Australia. Doosra understands once the Victorian bushfire is under control, Vettori will be chargesheeted for arson.
3. It took a president, a shaman and a coiffeur to make Lasith Malinga's return from wilderness possible;
4. Rajasthan Royals ensured the support of Indian truckers, Richard Gere and subsequently HH Dalai Lama in this year's IPL by selling stakes to Shilpa Shetty;
5. Shah Rukh Khan's Kolkata Knight Riders helped Bangladesh double its Gross National Income by buying Mashrafe Mortaza.
6. West Indies unleashed an Australia-bred White West Indian, Brendan Nash, and a 6’7” high-extension tower in Suleiman Benn, whose deliveries, Poms claim, come like oracles from heaven;
7. Kevin Pietersen convulsed with laughter after he: i) topscored for Poms in the Sabina Park massacre; ii) derived sadistic pleasure as Strauss’ captaincy honeymoon got over before it started; and iii) found Vijay Mallya has emptied his pocket to engage his service.

Sunday, 13 May 2007

Lara, Warne, McGrath in rebel Twenty20 league!

(Renewing rivalry? Photo: Getty Images)


If glamour quotient is the yardstick, ICC can take a walk. And when it holds the inaugural Twenty20 World Championship in South Africa in September, ICC can expect a good run for its money, fame and everything else.

The rebel Indian Cricket League has staged a series of coups by roping in the likes of Brian Lara, Shane Warne and Glenn McGrath. And if this is not enough for the lawyerly Malcolm Speed to lose his sleeps, ICL has assured “more big names to follow.”

Media baron Subhash Chandra launched the ICL amid much fanfare and the breakaway Twenty20 competition is likely to take place right after the ICC event.

With Warne, Lara and McGrath, among others, quitting the stage, mainstream cricket has lost much of its glitz, gloss and glamour. It went to such extent that Lasith Malinga was voted among the sexiest men in cricket, something left even the staunchest of his supporters cherry-red in the face.

From viewers’ point of view, it simply could not get better. I have a couple of suggestions. Get Jayasuriya, the quintessential woodcutter who once mistakenly walked into a cricket field and stayed on to hack bowlers with the willow. And I know you need an electronic microscope to find if Inzamam has any supporter left. Still, can’t we have the big, bushy Inzy in the circus?


Sunday, 29 April 2007

The A-Z of the 2007 World Cup


Now that the World Cup is finally over, here is an AFP copy that tries to encapsulate the entire event in the alphabetical order:

A is for Australians, everywhere. As well as the champion team, there were Australian players in the Ireland and Scotland squads while India, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh and West Indies all started with Australian coaches.

B is for biceps, particularly those of Australia all-rounder Andrew Symonds whose participation in the tournament had been put in doubt because of arm surgery.

C is for crying and the tears of Bermuda's 17-year-old seamer Malachi Jones who wept and wept and wept after taking the wicket of India opener Robin Uthappa with his fourth ball. However, he would have blubbed even more when he finished with 1-74 off seven overs.

D is for drinking with a group of England players, and Andrew Flintoff to the fore, exercising their right arms with so much vigour that the all-rounder was dropped for one match while others were fined. South Africe were also at the centre of 'late-night booze shame' tabloid frenzy but, unlike England, they made progress in the tournament.

E is for empty stadiums which became a constant, depressing sight throughout the tournament as locals stayed away in protest at the price of tickets. It got worse when India and Pakistan failed to reach the second round.

F is for four wickets in four balls. The unique feat was achieved by Sri Lanka seamer Lasith Malinga in Guyana although his efforts were not enough to prevent South Africa from securing a one-wicket win. F is also for Ferret, as in the bizarre dance performed by Ireland seamer Dave Langford-Smith every time he took a wicket.

G is for Gibbs. South Africa batsman Herschelle Gibbs made history by becoming the first man to hit sixes in an over in a one-day international, achieving the landmark against hapless Netherlands in St Kitts. G is also for Adam Gilchrist who hit a record 149 in the final to see his team to victory.

H is for Hayden with the Australian opener hitting the fastest ever World Cup 100 in just 66 balls and going on to dominate the scoring charts. H is also for humour as illustrated by Dutch skipper Luke van Troost after seeing his slow bowler Daan van Bunge pulverised by Gibbs' record-setting hitting. "I told him to bowl a slower one," said the captain to his teammate. "'I just did'," was the bemused reply.

I is for Inzamam-ul-Haq. The proud Pakistan skipper saw his team humiliated by Ireland and devastated by the death of coach Bob Woolmer. Inzamam won the hearts of the Kingston crowd and millions watching around the world when he made a tearful exit at Sabina Park after announcing his one-day international retirement.

J is for Johnston. Ireland's Trent Johnston danced as close to an Irish jig as his ageing Aussie bones could manage every time he claimed a wicket. His teammates likened it to a chicken. J is also for Ed Joyce who helped Ireland qualify for the World Cup before switching allegiance to England. His reward? He was promptly dropped when the runs dried up.

K is for kids. In a trademark sign that a tournament is failing to woo the locals, World Cup organisers were reduced to busing in thousands of bemused school pupils to fill acres of empty seats. In Barbados, 4,000 of them added their shrill voices to the proceedings. K is also for South African all-rounder Kallis who, despite his critics, plays the game his way.

L is for Lara. The West Indies batting great, whose career was peppered with a host of records and runs, wept as he bowed out of international cricket unable to stem the decline of a once-feared team. L is also for Dwayne Leverock, the 255-pound (116kg) Bermuda spinner whose ungainliness perfectly illustrated the team's problems on their debut appearance.

M is for Mir. Pervez Mir was the Pakistan team spokesman who was a constant feature on TV screens and in newspapers mounting a dignified response to the Woolmer tragedy. M is also for Malinga, the bleach-blond Sri Lanka seamer with the slingshot action which befuddled South Africa. M is also for McGrath, the veteran Aussie bowler who claimed the all-time World Cup wickets record.

N is for no-hopers. Hang your heads in shame Bermuda, Scotland and Canada who played nine games and failed to muster a point between them.

O is for over-rated. Step forward India, the financial powerhouse of the international game who lost to Bangladesh and beat a hasty retreat home. O is also for over-priced as in tickets, 90 dollars in St Kitts for example where the average weekly wage is 100 dollars, and hotels who thought it fun to triple their rates.

P is for the Pegasus Jamaica which briefly became one of the most famous hotels in the world. It was where the Pakistan team stayed and where Bob Woolmer was murdered on March 18. On a lighter note, P is also for pedalo, Flintoff's transport of choice on his infamous night out.

Q is for quit and plenty of people were doing it at the Caribbean - Lara, Inzamam, Greg Chappell, Dav Whatmore, Duncan Fletcher and Clive Lloyd amongst others.

R is for resting. Sri Lanka caused controversy when they gave Chaminda Vaas and Muttiah Muralitharan a breather for the Super Eights match against Australia. The Aussies said it was something they would never do while Lanka wicketkeeper Kumar Sangakkara accused critics of double standards.

S is for Shields. Jamaica police's deputy commissioner Mark Shields was the urbane and articulate detective leading the hunt for Woolmer's killers.

T is for teenagers. Bangladesh's young side, which defeated mighty India and South Africa, was packed with fearless talent and made such an impression that they are already being considered as a potential threat when the 2011 World Cup takes place on the sub-continent.

U is for unsung heroes. The pre-tournament hype and publicity revolved around the marquee names but it was the likes of Andrew Hall, Scott Styris and Brad Hogg who were manning the barricades.

V is for Lou Vincent. The New Zealand opener made two noughts and then a century. But just when he thought his World Cup was up and running, he was ruled out with a broken wrist inflicted upon him by teammate Shane Bond in the nets.

W is for Woolmer. Former England Test batsman Bob Woolmer was a well-liked and hugely-respected coach admired for his even-handed relationship with players and for his innovative methods. Deeply depressed by Pakistan's shock loss to Ireland on March 17, he died the following day. His death is being treated as murder and the hunt for the killers is ongoing.

X is for X-factor and X-rated. Bangladesh had both, the former with their stunning wins over India and South Africa, the latter for their tame, lame defeat to Ireland.

Y is for youth. Just 20 years old but fresh-freshed enough to suggest mid-teens, Stuart Broad held his nerve in his first World Cup match to hit the runs which give England a one-wicket win over West Indies. It also sent Brian Lara into retirement on a losing note.

Z is for Zimbabwe. A team in turmoil, they mamanged a tie with Ireland and very little else. Disenchanted on their return home, two of their most promising players, Vusi Sibanda and Anthony Ireland, left to take up lucrative club contracts in Australia and England respectively.

(Photo: bbc.co.uk)

Sunday, 15 April 2007

Slinga Malinga, the Hair Apparent!


As I said in one of my earlier posts, I still believe hair...err... here you have cricket’s second most outrageous hair ever spotted anywhere near a stadium (for those who came in late, Darrel, the Oz Man in White remains the first in my list). And it's really difficult to say which is weirder, Lasith Malinga's round-arm action or the hairdo he sports.

However I may pooh-pooh it but hairdresser Nishantha Jayasekera reveals it took him two days of painstaking efforts to finally come up with the style of his famous client's liking and hair... err...here you have Malinga.

Jayasekera runs the Le Paris salon in Panadura near Colombo and counts Tillakaratne Dilshan, Chamara Silva, Malinga Bandara and Hashan Tilakaratne among his clients. But when it comes to hairstyle, he has to spare most time with "Slinga Malinga".

"Malinga has his own hair ideas and he is not afraid to try out anything new. It took me two days to get the look," said Jayasekera.

Coach Tom Moody too has lost count how many hair cut Malinga had since he took over.

"He has had many hairstyles over the past 12 months and you never know what it will be tomorrow," Moody added.

Thursday, 29 March 2007

Slinga Malinga: the pacer who has his head on fire


After Muttiah Muralitharan, another maverick from the Sri Lankan stable. Amidst the gloom of Bob Woolmer’s murder, cricket finally hit the headlines for the right reason, as Lasith Malinga scalped four wickets in as many deliveries against South Africa in Guyana.

To be honest, I dislike his action as much as his hairstyle, or the other way round. I happened to see him first in Sri Lanka late last year during a rain-ruined tournament and I still believe he is the game’s second most outrageous hair ever spotted near a cricket ground. For those who came in late, Darrel, the Oz Man in White remains the first in my list.

From a distance, it is seems his head is on fire but somehow the flames are not flickering enough. No wonder, Mahela Jayawardene insists Malinga adds firepower to his pace attack, especially with Chaminda Vaas walking into the sunset of his career.

Malinga’s round-arm action has given sleepless nights to many a batsman. Graeme Smith is not known for his candour but still the Protea southpaw admitted “Malinga was incredible. He made me age a bit."

Back in 2005, Malinga’s low-slung action prompted Stephen Fleming to approach the umpire and request him to change his trousers, for the ball seemed lost in the black backdrop and the Kiwi bat could not spot the ball.

Thankfully, no such requests have been received so far this time. And one thing is sure. This World Cup has seen more distractions and less of cricket and Malinga, despite his weird hairdo, deserves a pat in the back for setting it right.