Friday 30 November 2012

7 Reactions To Ricky Ponting's Retirement

1. Kapil Sibal: CAG trying to exaggerate the impact of his retirement. It’s completely insignificant. Zero loss to international cricket;

2. Prime Minister: I assure the nation, the culprits would be brought to book.

3. Meira Kumar: No standing ovation please. Please baith jaiyye, shaant ho jaiyye.

4. SM Krishna: Ricky Martin's retirement is a great loss to international cricket. Even Hina would agree with me.

5. Sushma Swaraj: Motamaal kamaya hoga. No need to get unnecessarily sentimental.

6. Shahid Afridi: As a veteran, I'd say occasional retirement is good for health but he shouldn't overdo it.

7. Manish Tiwari: A prolific batsman! Arrey woh aadmi to khud sar-se-pao tak run me duba hua hai!

Thursday 8 November 2012

EXCLUSIVE: The Real Reason Behind Bachchan-Gandhi Split

Rajiv Gandhi: So you won't budge?
Amitabh Bachchan: Budge? How can you even think of that?
RG: You forgot the days we spent together right from Doon school?
AB: Of course not!
RG: You forgot those proxies and everything else that I did for you?
AB: As if I did not!
RG: No, I mean both of us did.
AB: Then?
RG: Then what? You can't do such a simple thing for your Bhabi?
AB: Bud, it's impossible.
RG: Why? You are a superstar! You can dictate the director or the producer!
AB: It doesn't work like that in Bollywood, why don't you understand?
RG: You mean you won't change it?
AB: Chum, listen, don't be foolish.
RG: You can't do this simple act to please your bhabi?
AB: No, I can't.
RG: So the film title remains "Aakhree Rasta"?
AB: Yes, it remains "Aakhree Rasta".
RG: And you can't make it "Aakhree Pasta" to please your Bhabi? Just a matter of changing one letter?
AB: I'm sorry I can't.
RG: Well mate, you lost me there. I guess that's it then. Our paths part from here and they they never cross again.
AB: But..hell...listen...
RG: Thanks for the memories bud, bye.


Friday 2 November 2012

10 Mahabharata One-Liners You Didn't Know

1. Excuse me, thoda kum nahi ho sakta? ~ Draupadi when told she'd have to marry all 5 Pandavas.

2. Rest in Piece ~ Bhim after splitting Jarasandha into two;

3. Mujh par ek ehsaan karna, ki mujh par koi ehsaan na karna ~ Karna, rejecting Kunti's offer to switch loyalty.

4. Mere Karna-Arjun ayenge, zaroor ayenge ~ Kunti in her dream.

5. Bhaiyya, aapke mobile pe tower hai? ~ Arjun asking Yudhisthi during Vanvaas.

6. Don't be a sissy. Just Do It ~ Krishna after his Gita harangue failed to instigate Arjun's killer instinct.

7. Kutte, kaminey, mai tera khoon pi jaunga ~ Bhim, before killing Dushasana.

8. Nakul, you idiot, dial 101 before uploading pictures on Facebook ~ Yudhisthir after Jatugriha caught fire.

9. Prabhu, zara 'Tera Suroor' bajake sunaiyye na ~ Radha to Krishna.

10. Salaa, aaj hi stepney bhool gaya ~ Karna when his chariot got stuck at Kurukshetra.