7 IPL players, once domiciled

1. Owais Shah=Owais Saha, Wriddhiman’s long lost brother.

2. Kumar Sangakkara=Kumar Singh Kaur (Pardon the sex change).
 

3. Shane Bond=Sanat Bandopadhyay.
 

4. Kieron Pollard=Kiran Palekar.

5. Matthew Hayden=Mutthuswami Hegde (Come on, some K’taka Brahmins do stay in Chennai)

6. Tillakaratne Dilshan=Tilak Rattan Dhillon.

7. Jean-Paul Duminy=Jaipal Dhamne.

Doosra Annual Award 2009

Dhoni could not believe it. Sehwag didn't like it. Pietersen rather resented it and Dirk Nannes was quite livid.

I assured them justice delayed is justice denied alright but they need not harbour similar insecurity about Doosra annual awards.

So without much ado, here goes the 2009 gongs:

1. Hosiery Society's Rookie Designer of the Year: Andrew Flintoff, for his socks;

2. Lingerie Wholesaler Association's Newcomer of the Year: Shane Warne, for his brief designs;

3. Youngest Grandpa Citation: Sachin Tendulkar;

4. M(e)an Booker Prize: Justin Langer, for his dossier on English cricketers;

5. Social Networker of the Year: Phil Hughes, for his Twittergate.

6. Honorary Doctorate: Sunil Gavaskar for diagnosing that the butter-finger Indians are incapable of even catching cold.

7. Quisling Memorial Trophy for Fifth Columnist of the Year: Virender Sehwag, for supporting opponents in close ties.

8. The inaugural Regit Sdoow Cup: Kevin Pietersen for being the perfect husband and seeking leave to watch his wife's dance prorgamme on TV. (Regit Sdoow is Tiger Woods reversed, for the uninitiated).

9. Thomas Edison Medal: Tillakaratne Dilshan for inventing ‘Dilscoop’.

10. Lord Snooty of the Year: Ram Gopal Verma, for mistaking Dhoni for an aspiring actor;

15. Cricketer Sans Border Plaque: Dirk Nannes, for effortlessly two-timing Netherlands and Australia.

16. Noam Chomsky Medal: Again Dirk Nannes, for being the only Japanese-speaking cricketer.

(Read Doosra Annual Award 2008 here)

Kanpur Test Day 1: My 7 suspects

1. The cake Amit Mishra -- he turned 27 today even though his look suggests 72 -- received from team management had 'Happy-Birthday-Omit' written across it;

2. "Sorry Bhai" is the Bollywood movie that pretty much sums up Pragyan Ojha's feeling towards Amit Mishra;

3. The only explanation of Sri Lanka's frequent dropping of anything flying off Sehwag's bat is -- they consider it below their dignity. They steadfastly refused in Ahmedabad till one accidentally got stuck to Angelo Mathews' reluctant palm. Here too Mahela dropped Sehwag on duck before Dilshan caught him. And that because Sehwag happens to be Dilshan's Delhi Daredevils comrade;

4. After their union in Ahmedabad, the Jayawardenes clicked in Kanpur as well. Well, this time for India, by collaborating to spill Sehwag on zero;

5. The secret behind Sehwag's uncharacteristic patience is Dhoni's threat to make him write Welegedara's full name -- Uda Walawwe Mahim Bandaralage Chanaka Asanga Welegedara -- 10 times if he got out early;

6. Harbhajan Singh's mild throat infection had the team management worried because they know his real craft lies in his larynx;

7. When Sehwag said Gambhir is the best Indian opener since Gavaskar, he meant Srikkanth was a motormouth madcap, Ganguly an ill-tempered mule and Tendulkar a petulant holy cow.

Slinga Malinga, the Hair Apparent!

As I said in one of my earlier posts, I still believe hair...err... here you have cricket’s second most outrageous hair ever spotted anywhere near a stadium (for those who came in late, Darrel, the Oz Man in White remains the first in my list). And it's really difficult to say which is weirder, Lasith Malinga's round-arm action or the hairdo he sports.

However I may pooh-pooh it but hairdresser Nishantha Jayasekera reveals it took him two days of painstaking efforts to finally come up with the style of his famous client's liking and hair... err...here you have Malinga.

Jayasekera runs the Le Paris salon in Panadura near Colombo and counts Tillakaratne Dilshan, Chamara Silva, Malinga Bandara and Hashan Tilakaratne among his clients. But when it comes to hairstyle, he has to spare most time with "Slinga Malinga".

"Malinga has his own hair ideas and he is not afraid to try out anything new. It took me two days to get the look," said Jayasekera.

Coach Tom Moody too has lost count how many hair cut Malinga had since he took over.

"He has had many hairstyles over the past 12 months and you never know what it will be tomorrow," Moody added.