IPL: Cricket Sans Frontiers

In another world, Ricky Ponting revealing Matthew Hayden’s only chink in the armour to Ashok Dinda could have amounted to treason. Likewise, AB de Villiers tipping off Sehwag on what snaps Dale Steyn’s rhythm could have been a perfect ground to make a Quisling out of the Protea bat.

Thanks to IPL, border – those haphazard scratches on Earth’s lovely round face- stands, if at all, blurred.

I had gone for Delhi Daredevils' practice session yesterday where TA Sekar, AB de Villiers, Rajat Bhatia and Manoj Tiwary were available for media interaction.

Sekar spoke in details how McGrath was mentoring the likes of V Yomahesh, Pradeep Sangwan and even Ferveez Maharoof, teaching them tricks of the trade and secrets of the craft which he learned during the course of his illustrious career.

Sekar said

If you saw the last match, you would remember how McGrath was trying to cool Maharoof who was getting some stick.

de Villiers too made it clear that he would not have any qualms sharing secrets about how to blunt Steyn.

He said

I’m more than willing to discuss the strength and weaknesses of the South African players. I would love to do everything that gives us an edge.

Lambasting IPL is a cottage industry among purists. I too had my fair share of potshots at it, even though I’m neither purists, nor the hoi polloi. But the peep into Delhi Daredevils camp came as a complete eye-opener. IPL has not bowled me over yet but I have to admit that it’s a paradigm shift indeed.

Costliest slap in cricket’s history

The slap must be reverberating in Harbhajan Singh’s ears. When he hit Sreesanth beneath his eyes, Harbhajan could hardly imagine that it would go down to history as the costliest slap ever in the history of Indian cricket.

IPL Mint in Suit Lalit Modi spelled out the arithmetic in yesterday’s Press Conference.

He said a player's fee is divided over 14 matches and Harbhajan will be paid for only the first two matches. The volatile offie forfeits his fees from third match onwards, besides the ban for the rest of the IPL.

Bhajji was bought by Mukesh Ambani's Mumbai Indians for a cool Rs 3.4 crore but the Jalandhar spinner would get only Rs 48 lakh.

So that slap that earned him a ban as well, cost Bhajji neat Rs three crore.

Meanwhile, having been to umpteen BCCI Press Conferences, I did not expect it to be a tidy affair yesterday but what I witnessed was mind-boggling.

PR guys said press conference would take place at the 17^th floor of the Maurya Sheraton and that triggered mayhem. Imagine 200-strong crowd, armed with tripods, mikes and paraphernalia, trying to squeeze themselves into two elevators. By the time half of them managed to reach the place, fresh announcement said they don’t have enough space there, so it would take place at porch. That ensued second round of pandemonium. Well, then we were told they have made the arrangements and it would indeed take place at 17^th floor. That triggered a mini-stampede, and TV guys mouthed the most exotic choicest of abuses you can hope to come across before making it to the place just before Modi and Farokh Engineer started the press conference.

Next round of drama took place there that included angry shouts at Modi as well. And all along, Engineer screamed “Please be quiet, show some respect for Mr Modi.”

Well, that was really asking for too much.

Anyway, all this while Modi could have simply booked a hall beforehand and told that the Press Conference would start at so-and-so hour.

Here is why Harbhajan slapped Sreesanth

If it intrigued you what prompted Harbhajan to slap Sreesanth, here goes the Doosra exclusive which explains the inexplicable and gives you all six possible reasons:

1. An ecstatic Sreesanth told Bhajji that Lalit Modi had just added a “Kiss-your-boss-nolens-volens” clause to the players’ IPL contract. Pat came Bhajji’s reply.

2. Bhajji had actually asked Sree the secret of curbing his temper. Sree said ‘Lage Raho Munnabhai’ did the trick and he was in fact practicing Gandhigiri. Bhajji just wanted to check the veracity and asked him to turn his cheek.

3. The prankster in Sree challenged Bhajji that he was balding beneath the turban and dared him to prove him wrong.

4. Both were actually discussing how Indians were getting into one after another on-field brawl while touring abroad. It was disgusting, they concurred, and decided India needed to reduce its dependence on foreigners.

5. Mind-boggling action, edge-of-the-seat thriller, song-and-dance…IPL ring master Lalit Modi sniffed melodrama was missing from the script and he chose India’s most volatile duo to take care of that.

6. A Kerala producer had approached Sree but was not sure of his versatility in front of camera. Dance, aggression and even comedy is ok but can Sree handle emotional scenes? Sree reportedly invited him to Mohali last night and Doosra learns Sree had the contract in his pocket when he entered the dressing room where Bhajji was waiting for his share of the pie.

Of cheerleaders, Afridi and India's ogling trio

Shahid Afridi’s candour surely deserved better treatment. Instead, the poor richest Pakistani cricketer in IPL was pilloried for saying exactly what others are thinking.

For those who still wonder if cheerleaders are actually a distraction for Afridi and his tribe (I’m not talking about his Pashtun origin but fellow willow-wielders) the photograph should be an eye-opener, if not eyeball-popper.

Just see how Robin Uthappa, Dinesh Karthick and Yuvraj Singh ogle at, well, the gap through covers. A saintly Tendulkar remains above all these things. Guys who want to take broader view of the incident are encouraged to click on the pix.

Image: He Who Took The Snap

Past masters pass muster

The show was over. The old tricksters counted the coins, put the wares back in the sack, bowed one last time and left for good. Or so we thought.

It took Shane Warne and Glenn McGrath, the Kangaroo partners-in-crime for donkey’s years, an IPL to prove that they still have an ace up their sleeves.

On a format that perceives bowlers as cannon-fodders, mere props to massage the ego of the author-backed willowers in an obscenely lop-sided script, the necromancer and the metronome yet conjured up something outrageous, almost a rebellion against the rule of the game.

As if to make public his displeasure over the role assigned to his tribe, McGrath produced a maiden over, with a wicket to boot, in the Delhi Daredevils-Rajasthan Royals match and then Warne came up with a three-wicket haul against Kings XI Punjab that not only set the tone for the team’s first win, but also seemed his note of dissent to the rule-makers’ idea of the game.

It was a delight to see that through with the hustle and bustle of international cricket, the duo still retains the old charm. The tricks they picked, perfected and practised throughout their distinguished career still linger, almost like bad habits. Well, Twenty20 will still remain a batsman-biased business but they at least managed to dilute my cynicism.

Image: Phill Hillyard

Gilly ready to sledge Punter

Those who thought it’s only politics which makes strange bedfellows, time to get their basics right. So does the Indian Premier League (IPL). Here friends turn foe and hatchets are hurriedly buried for six weeks, as if they didn't exist. In fact, Shane Warne and Graeme Smith would soon take their position next to the wicketkeeper to feature in cricket’s own ‘Slipping With the Enemy’.

Thanks to Lalit Modi, here you have a unique world where Bush hugs Osama, Hillary hosts Obama and China hails Dalai Lama. After IPL, United Nations beckons Modi.

There is other side of the coin as well. In fact what provoked the post is Adam Gilchrist’s announcement in Kolkata that says he’s ready to sledge-hammer his former captain Ricky Ponting. Well, Gilly is perfectly entitled to giving vent to his pent-up frustration after being Punter’s deputy for so long. More so because he is through with international cricket and does not care a hoot if that antagonizes Ponting.

But will that be the case with, say an Ishant Sharma and MS Dhoni? I doubt so. Tell me which nitwit would go after his ODI/Test captain and give him a mouthful and still hope for a prolonged international career? Don’t let the foofaraw fox you. At the end of the day -- I would say even at the start of the day too -- IPL is, merely a six-week romp. The bread and butter, fortunately, Test/ ODI cricket.

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The Roundhead in oversized Cavalier’s guise

If there was a singularly poignant moment in last night’s Kolkata Knight Riders-Bangalore Royal Challengers encounter, it was the seventh ball of the Bangalore innings when Kolkata’s adopted son Ishant Sharma pegged back base of Rahul Dravid’s middle and off-stumps.

I’m afraid, apart from the money, Dravid probably has nothing to gain from the IPL. On the contrary, he has put his hard-earned reputation on the line. I pray he escapes unscathed six weeks from now, even though only an incurably optimist can actually expect so.

Dravid had the prudence to pull out of the Twenty20 World Cup. Alas, a similar sagacity eluded him this time. Was it money that cluttered his mind and denied him the clarity that Twenty20 is not his cup of tea but it surely can be his potential cup of woes? Or he just did not want to miss out on being part of the razzmatazz? Whatever be the reason, Dravid volunteered to be part of something which is so in contrast with his technique and temperament.

For someone whose personality found magnificent manifestation over the five days of a Test match, Dravid made a colossal mistake by hoping to thrive in the ephemerality of Twenty20.

And it did not take him long to realize what he was in for. He must have shrunk in horror when Brendon McCullum top edged Zaheer Khan and instead of finding any of the slip fielders, the ball went soaring over third man for a six. That shot perfectly captured the essence of Twenty20 and the purist in Dravid must have been shaken in his boot by the outrage.

I’m afraid, Twenty20 brings with it a new set of crowd, who throng the ground expecting to see a bowlers’ bloodbath, completely devoid of sympathy for anyone. Their patience fast wear thin and they can garland and guillotine a player with the same fervour. “Can’t hit the bowler out of the park? Budge off you bungler, let the next guy come in.”

I’m not the one who would like to see him being booed and barracked. He does not deserve that. But if that happens, Dravid would surely concede it was his own making.

Image: AFP