Delhi Results: 7 Observations

1. These days, Congress is the best party to be in, for a stress-free political career.

2. Like a responsible party, BJP should introspect. Especially how three of its candidates managed to defy the AAP wave and won;

3. To be fair to her, Kiran Bedi did not lose. It was Vikas Bedi who lost. Kiran Bedi comes out with her reputation intact.

4. Surprisingly, Arvind Kejriwal did not declare and enforce follow-on on BJP even when AAP had taken a huge lead.

5. Botanists are baffled - so much muck flew before election but still lotus didn’t bloom.

6. Congress need not despair over their zero seats. The silver lining is – they can’t do any worse in the subsequent elections!

7. Shazia Ilmi should not be charged with culpable homicide if she decides to strangulate her political adviser, provided it’s not she herself.

11 "Chai Pe Charcha" Spinoffs

Narendra Modi's "Chai Pe Charcha" has opened a Pandora's box.
With India set to stage world's biggest election from next month, political leaders are defying model code of conduct and interacting with the voters in secret, deliciously named interactions.

Below are 11 leaders and their campaign initiatives:

1. Raj Kachori with Rajnath Singh.

2. Chavanprash with Prithviraj Chavan.

3. Humble Pie with Digvijay Singh.

4. Momo with Momota Banerjee.

5. Modak with Modi. Calm down fanboys, I meant Lalit.

6. Muli with Mulayam.

7. Ginseng with ND Tiwari.

8. Kaju with Kejriwal.

9. Pan Vilas with Ram Vilas.

10. Jalebi with Jayalalitha.

11. Any Goddamn thing with Gadkari.

Costliest slap in cricket’s history

The slap must be reverberating in Harbhajan Singh’s ears. When he hit Sreesanth beneath his eyes, Harbhajan could hardly imagine that it would go down to history as the costliest slap ever in the history of Indian cricket.

IPL Mint in Suit Lalit Modi spelled out the arithmetic in yesterday’s Press Conference.

He said a player's fee is divided over 14 matches and Harbhajan will be paid for only the first two matches. The volatile offie forfeits his fees from third match onwards, besides the ban for the rest of the IPL.

Bhajji was bought by Mukesh Ambani's Mumbai Indians for a cool Rs 3.4 crore but the Jalandhar spinner would get only Rs 48 lakh.

So that slap that earned him a ban as well, cost Bhajji neat Rs three crore.

Meanwhile, having been to umpteen BCCI Press Conferences, I did not expect it to be a tidy affair yesterday but what I witnessed was mind-boggling.

PR guys said press conference would take place at the 17^th floor of the Maurya Sheraton and that triggered mayhem. Imagine 200-strong crowd, armed with tripods, mikes and paraphernalia, trying to squeeze themselves into two elevators. By the time half of them managed to reach the place, fresh announcement said they don’t have enough space there, so it would take place at porch. That ensued second round of pandemonium. Well, then we were told they have made the arrangements and it would indeed take place at 17^th floor. That triggered a mini-stampede, and TV guys mouthed the most exotic choicest of abuses you can hope to come across before making it to the place just before Modi and Farokh Engineer started the press conference.

Next round of drama took place there that included angry shouts at Modi as well. And all along, Engineer screamed “Please be quiet, show some respect for Mr Modi.”

Well, that was really asking for too much.

Anyway, all this while Modi could have simply booked a hall beforehand and told that the Press Conference would start at so-and-so hour.