Of Kanpur, Woolmer and a rickshaw straying down memory lane

Kanpur can be cruel in April. And it did not make an exception in 2005.

The dust, dirt, soot and dung flies. Frentic autowallahs with a hand on the horn and a foot on the brake.

Desperate bikers, tilting their vehicle and bobbing their head to make a mockery of the railway crossing.

Pedestrians crossing the remnants of a road with outsize bags in their hand and a prayer on their lip.

Chimneys dotting the skyline belching poison. Air is thick and the heat saps you.

For a man of his shape and size, Bob was panting, trying to squeeze his bulky frame into the choc-o-bloc ward of the Georgina McRobert Memorial Hospital. He was returning after 57 years to collect his birth certificate.

I could not resist pushing the doctor in front to peep into the certificate. The exact time read 2.15 a.m. on May 14, 1948.

Bob shook hands with everyone. He sweated profusely but the heat and discomfort could not sap him of that illuminating smile.

Amused patients got fruits and flower. Kids even a pat on their head. Bob then fished out a jersey, signed by the Pakistani players, and asked the authorities to auction it.

Bob promised he would come again. He did not.

Instead, his corpse was found in a far away Kingston hotel in 2007.

India plays Sri Lanka tomorrow. I suspected my rickshawallah wasn't sure he knows the way to my hotel and he doesn't let me down. The moron on pedal has dutifullly bungled it and I've strayed into an alien area.

To be honest, not exactly alien since I first visited Georgina McRobert Memorial Hospital in 2005.

End of Shoaib, the enigma

This was probably inevitable. For a guy who toyed with career as if it was his enemy’s, this was bound to happen. And as the Pakistan Cricket Board handed out a five-year ban on the Rawalpindi Express, effective ending his career, you don’t know whether to sympathise with Shoaib Akhtar or hail the ban.

Here you had a youngster who had all the ingredients that could make him the best bowler of his generation, if not an all-time great. Scorching toe-crushers, a well-disguised slower, nasty bouncer and a perfect built to survive the ordeal called fast bowling– an aspiring fast bowler could not have asked for more.

But Shoaib was done in by a self-destructive streak.

He would push aside suggestions by the few well-wishers he had among fellow/former cricketers. Success got to his head at an early age and he could not banish the demon ever. Instead, he nursed it inside and the result was ugly manifestations, one after another.

Pampered by the Tauqir Zia-led PCB to the point of being spoilt, Shoaib steadfastly refused to change. Isolated from jealous teammates who grudged his privileged status in the side, Shoaib became selfish. Challenging the speedgun seemed his sole mission when he started the run up. Poor Bob Woolmer could not convince him to cut short that spectacularly long run-up, even though that often invited slow over-rate for the side.

The fitness regimen he followed was flawed to the end. Shoaib would probably go down in cricket’s history as the guy who was ruined by the growing gym culture that threatens to ruin many a career. Fledgling pacers need to develop muscle, but that does not mean you have to resemble the WWF hulks.

But there you had Shoaib, a torso as heavy as a payloader, gasping for breath in the boundary lines and frantically sniffing from an inhaler after a four-over spell exhausted him.

His macho image, frequent hobnobbing with glamour world – Shoaib gradually became a narcissist. He was more hype than substance. We saw more of those tantrums than his yorkers. He became a problem child that every captain wanted to abandon. And all along, Shoaib still could not see the writing on the wall and mend his ways.

This is not the way one would like to see a player go. Mentors around the cricket globe would cite his example before warning their wards not to go the Shoaib way. Shoaib could easily have been a history-maker. Alas, he preferred to be a history-sheeter.

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Dump the rogue: Cricket would be better off without Shoaib Akhtar

Geoff Lawson can’t be faulted if he packs his bag and catches the first available flight to Australia. After all, this was his first assignment with the Pakistani cricket team and what a way to begin!

Shoaib Akhtar, that rogue in flannel, has been sent home from Johannesburg for using the long handle that has left his new ball partner Mohammad Asif with a bruised thigh. Instead of playing in the Twenty20, the erratic ‘Rawalpindi Express’ will now be cooling his heels, admiring his supreme talent to run into trouble.

"I'm human and made a mistake in the heat of the moment. Asif said something to me that made me lose my temper. I apologised to him, but I was very upset," Shoaib told a channel.

And before one could doubt him being sincerely apologetic, Shoaib himself shatters the illusion when he compares his conduct with Zinedine Zidane’s headbutting of Marco Materazzi in the soccer World Cup final.

Now Pakistan Cricket Board might be interested in finding if Asif said something about Shamaila, Shoaib's sister.

PCB has already slapped an indefinite ban on the perennial controversy-courting speedster but it seems already too late. Shoaib has been both the ‘Rog’ and rogue in the Pakistan dressing room. He was more interested in tantrums than performance. Here you had a player who was so engrossed in putting up a show that he never hesitated to sacrifice team’s interest to achieve that.

Bob Woolmer, may he rest in peace in a world devoid of the likes of Shoaib, cried hoarse but could not convince the narcissist in Shoaib to cut down on his spectacular, and nothing else, run up, which often resulted in slow over rate for the side. Seduced by the speed-gun, Shoaib never felt for the colours he donned.

PCB had its share of the blame too. Shoaib would not sweat out with the team in the nets; would have his own physio -- Tauseef Razzaq – with him. Spoilt to the core and shamelessly pampered by a patronizing PCB, Shoaib gradually started believing he was bigger than the team.

Shoaib has proved a dismal disgrace not only for Pakistan, but the game of cricket as well. His very presence in the dressing room has been embarrassing for his captain (ask Inzamam) and depressing for the youngsters. His selfish approach to the game has scuttled many a team strategy and PCB would do well to permanently slam the door on the crook and breathe easy.

Image: AFP

Mushtaq Ahmed passed on deadly champagne to Woolmer!

(Mushy, under the scanner again/Getty Images)



In another sensational revelation, a Pakistani TV channel has claimed that it was Mushtaq Ahmed who passed on the two champagne bottles laced with weed killer to Bob Woolmer.

Incidentally, the needle of suspicion was pointed at Mushtaq in the West Indies, where his cut-marks on the face provoked many uncomfortable questions.

The ARY TV quoted Pakistan's media manager for the World Cup, Pervez Mir, as saying that Mushtaq received the bottles from some other person before passing them to Woolmer and claimed team manager Talat Ali was also witness to it.

Earlier, British media had reported that a rare weed killer was mixed with champagne, traces of which were found in the glass Woolmer drank from and even in his system.

Mushtaq, indicted in match-fixing case, was a last minute inclusion in Pakistan’s World Cup team, reportedly at the then captain Inzamam-ul Haq’s insistence.

Woolmer got death as a gift?

(Did Bob Woolmer drink death?)

Even after his mortals remains were cremated after going through a disgraceful six weeks of post-death rigmarole, there is no let up in theories as to what killed Bob Woolmer.

The Sunday Times quoted a Jamaican Police source saying that Woolmer consumed poisoned champagne – a rare weedkiller was used as poison-- which he got as a gift.

Police found high level of herbicide in his stomach and also discovered its traces in the glass from which he drank.

“Everything was contaminated. The stomach content, the glass, everything. There was enough to kill him,” the source said.

Woolmer was apparently poisoned before being strangled to death in the Kingston hotel room a day after Ireland knocked Pakistan out of the World Cup

The sleuths are also zeroing on the two champagne bottles, which Woolmer got as a gift. One was emptied and another was found untouched.

The weedkiller is rare and sleuths are not sure if it’s available in Jamaica.

“We think it’s something very unusual, that you can’t even buy in Jamaica. We don’t know what form it was in, whether liquid or crystal. The weedkiller was certainly in the glass. We are not sure whether it was in the bottle. Until we get further results we can’t confirm it,” the source added.

(Photo: AP)

Jamaica Police deny treating Inzy's boys like criminals

Jamaican Police, it's deputy commissioner Mark Shields to be precise, have vehemently denied treating Pakistani cricketers like criminals.

Younis Khan had recently alleged that he and his fellow team mates went through a nightmarish stay in the Caribbean where they were knocked out of the World Cup by Ireland and then had to go through humiliations following the murder of coach Bob Woolmer in a Kingston hotel.

"At one stage I got so angry with the way we were being treated I told the Jamaican authorities we are international cricketers not criminals," Younis said

The Pakistani players were grilled, finger-printed and had to give their DNA samples before leaving the Caribbean.

Shields, however, dismissed the allegation, saying ""Nothing could be further than the truth," and added "We had 100 per cent cooperation from the Pakistan team."

The top cop also announced that Police had received the toxicology results in the Bob Woolmer murder case but said they needed time to analyse the reports before reaching a conclusion.

Now al-Qaeda and D Company in Woolmer’s murder!

Conspiracy theorists had a gala time in the wake of the Bob Woolmer Whodunit and now “The Sun” tops it all, linking Woolmer’s murder to, hold your breath, al-Qaeda and Dawood Ibrahim for those who came in late, Dawood is a guy in oversize goggles and drooping moustache. He took match-fixing even beyond Sharjah and found a match for his daughter who happens to be Javed Miandad's son).

The tabloid claims a Pakistan-based bookie (spare that poor country, plz) was thrown out of Woolmer’s room after a spat with the coach. The same bookie was spotted with Anees Ibrahim, Dawood’s brother and right-hand, in Jamaica, claimed the report. And the bookie has vanished into thin air since Woolmer’s murder.

Hitman, poison, strangulation, gambling, match-fixing, murder, bookie, D-Company and even al-Qaeda. So, what’s next?

My Encounter With Woolmer

So Kanpur lost its adopted son of the soil. Born in Kanpur, 19 Test matches in English colours, coaching South Africa and then Pakistan – Woolmer was nothing short of a cricket nomad.

Two years back, I remember being in Kanpur for the penultimate match of the India-Pakistan ODI series.

Away from the on-field circus, Woolmer was scheduled to visit the Georgina McRobert Memorial Hospital — his birthplace — and the hospital authorities had prepared the birth certificate which was to be handed over to Woolmer.

After filing previews and all that stuff, I reached the hospital well in time. Woolmer, completely drenched after a grueling practice session, arrived straight from the nets to inaugurate the maternity ward, which was rechristened the Bob Woolmer Operation Theatre.

Repeated requests not to crowd the room fell on deaf ears and eventually Woolmer had to squeeze in his bulky frame into the choc-a-bloc ward. Coming straight from the net session, he was sweating profusely and trying not to step on anyone’s toe and made a ketchup of it.

In a brief, chaotic and yet warm ceremony, Woolmer was handed over the certificate and I peeped into it to find out that he was born at 2.15 a.m. on May 14, 1948. Despite the obvious discomfort, Woolmer sported that disarming smile and the sparkling eyes from behind the smoky specs hardly suggested here was perhaps the most analytic brain in contemporary cricket.

And it was ruthless professionalism on display again the next day as Woolmer plotted India’s peril in the ODI, where Shahid Afridi butchered the Indian bowlers at Green Park during a brutal 45-ball century.

At Kingston on Saturday, it was end of all journey for the journeyman. Now with Woolmer no more around, other teams can now relax a bit.

Pak Wants Woolmer Beyond World Cup

Things have really changed for better in Pakistan Cricket Board. The PCB, which once swore by its hire-and-fire motto and dropped coaches and captains like hot potatoes after every alternate tournament, is thinking of extending coach Bob Woolmer’s contract beyond the World Cup.

Woolmer’s list of admirers maybe bereft of names like Imran Khan or Javed Miandad but more importantly, it features PCB Chairman Nasim Ashraf, who is currently with the World Cup team in the Windies (meanwhile, reports claim cricketers are not liking his presence around, finding it’s too close for their comfort). Ashraf has full confidence in Woolmer and he would like to see the journeyman coach continue with the team even after the World Cup.

Born in Kanpur, veteran of 19 Tests in English colours, coaching South Africa and now Pakistan – Woolmer has been nothing short of a cricket nomad. But his Pakistan sojourn seems going to be a bit longer than he had actually thought.

"No English Please, We’re Pakistanis"

Inzamam-ul Haq’s post-match press conferences have often been a stress-buster for sports scribes with the burly Multani struggling with his English. Not known for their fluency in English, the Pakistanis have decided enough of making mockery of themselves and announced that they would conduct all World Cup interviews in Urdu. Grumpy foreign scribes can take a walk.

The recent communication gap took place when Danish Kaneria, lone Hindu player in the Pakistani side, was asked for comments on the gas leak in the team hotel. Kaneria wanted to play down the issue and said "It happens". Eventually in the media report, the spinner was quoted as saying "It happens at home as well".

Desperate to prevent further misunderstanding, the team think-tank decided to go Urdu and Pervez Jamil is a busy man these days, playing the dual role of media manager-cum-translator.

"I think they feel more comfortable speaking Urdu. It's their national language and they're proud of their country. Hopefully they'll be able to express themselves better", said Pakistan coach Bob Woolmer.

The International Cricket Council has given its nod and spokesman Brian Murgatroyd said ICC has no problem with it as long as there is a translator.