7 thoughts on Dhoni's fatherhood

1. Suresh Raina will feel insecure;

2. Dhoni is likely to uproot the entire nursing home where the kid was born and take it home as souveneir;

3. Kapil Dev's likely reaction: "Dad keh nahi sakte par, kahi na kahi, pitah toh zaroor ban gaye”.

4. India Cements will create a new vice-president's post to accommodate her;

5. N. Srinivasan is likely to downplay it, describing Dhoni instead as a "merely fatherhood enthusiast.”

6. Ian Chappell will demand Dhoni's retirement from all formats, citing the need to spend more time at home with the kid.

7. Dhoni is likely to sport a new celebratory haircut.

Indian cricket fraternity reacts to Indian GP

You feel better when you have got it off your chest. So, time to confess the sin. Yes, Doosra was at the inaugural Indian Grand Prix.

Lest you hold it against the blog, let me tell you so were the cricketers.

Once in the F1 paddock, Doosra did just what is expected of it. Doosra spoke to those present, called those absent and even contacted BCCI boss N Srinivasan, who said he was neither present nor absent.

Well, here are the selected responses of the Indian cricket fraternity to the country's first Formula One race.

1. M S Dhoni: Honestly speaking, with a lead like that, Vettel should have declared long ago;

2. Venkatesh Prasad: Well, yeah...ummm… Vettel is overrated, he does not have a slower;

3. BCCI chief N Srinivasan: We strongly condemn the low trick of smuggling DRS into India using F1;

4. Bishan Singh Bedi: Vettel has a suspect action, should be stripped of all points;

5. Sachin Tendulkar: I suggest we cut the 60-lap race into 4 races of 15 laps each;

6. Harbhajan Singh: I would have loved to race here. The track has lot of turns. Especially liked turn 5.

7. Suresh Raina: Vettel is okay but Dhoni is the best captain in the world. Because at the end of the day...Jai Mata Di.

Concussed Gambhir fails memory test!

Hear it here first!

The nasty concussion has left Gautam Gambhir with a memory as dodgy as Suresh Raina’s technique against rising deliveries.

The team doctor paraded the entire Indian team and to their horror, Gambhir could not recognise his teammates!

Here is what happened there:

Doctor: Hi Gautam...hello Gautam…hey Gautam!

GG: Why are you poking at my ribcage?

Doctor: Because I’m calling you and you are not replying.

GG: But who am I? All I know is that I’m concussed.

Doctor: You are Gautam..

GG: Gautama? Gautama Buddha? Well, Buddha hoga tera baap.

Doctor: You are Gautam Gambhir. Indian cricketer.

GG: Oh yes, it all coming back to me.

Doctor: I’m relieved. Hey Viru, come here. Gautam, you know Viru?

GG: Yes. I know Viru...but he was not bald. Viru... he loves Basanti but mausi doesn’t like him.

Doctor: What are you talking? Viru is Virender Sehwag. Remember you are an opener. Hey, what are you doing? Why are you biting the can?

GG: You said I’m an opener. Was trying to open the can.

Doctor: My god! You are a cricketer who got consussed. You remember how?

GG: Yes, it all coming back to me. I was trying to catch Kevin...Kevin...Kevin Spacey.

Doctor: Pietersen!

GG: Oh yes. It all coming back to me. It’s Pietersen. Don't yell at me.

Doctor: Sachin, come here. Gautam, you know Sachin?

GG: Of course I remember. Sachin.. He has got a nasal voice. I like his "Ore majhi, le chal par".

Doctor: that’s Sachin Devvarman! I’m talking about Sachin Tendulkar!

GG: Oh yes, Tendulkar, Tendulkar. It all coming back to me. Don’t scare me doctor, now I remember it all. By the way, you sure I’m Gautam Gambhir?

Doctor: Yes. Apart from Sachin, you remember any of your team mates? You remember Rahul?

GG: Yes Rahul...he is Sachin’s son.

Doctor: Again! I’m not talking about Rahul Devvarman.

GG: Ok ok, stop scolding me. Was joking. It all coming back to me. Rahul who? Yes Rahul. He’s not Sachin’s son. He is Sonia’s son and will become Prime Minister some day.

Doctor: Hopeless. It’s Rahul Dravid. Ok will help you identify the rest. Look at him. Tell us who he is? His first name is Suresh. Does that ring a bell?

GG: Of coufrse. Hi Suresh. You look younger. You have shaved I see. Doctor, I told him to play cricket but he went to Commonwealth Games instead and got into troubles. I don’t know what he did there but was jailed. Have they released you from Tihar? I’m concussed you know…

Doctor: Aargh! Completely gone case. You can’t recognise anyone. Do you know me or you forgot the team doctor as well?

GG: I know you doctor. You are Dhoni. You got a doctorate other day. I remember everything. It...

Doctor: ...all coming back to you, isn't it?