Cricket loses masculinity!

Somewhere something extraordinary has happened.

And it's graver than allowing George W Bush to formulate English grammar or asking Paris Hilton to head the next NASA project.

Cricket has just become less masculine!

Of course you had the omens in Alastair Cook's mascara, RP Singh's eyeliner and Nathan Bracken's hairband but here comes the definitive confirmation.

A bunch of eunuchs has beaten their male counterparts. And lest there is any confusion, let me make it clear that I'm not talking about Ashes.

After third man and third umpire, the third sex made its debut in cricket somewhere in Sindh, Pakistan.

A BBC report claims the eunuchs chased down a 66-run target from eight overs with such aplomb that some of the ICC Full Members are lucky that they were not there.

Chasing down those cars on the traffic signal was finally of some use, the winning captain later revealed.

Teams that tend to choke in their chase can give it a try, he...err...she...or... whatever said.

While most coaches dismissed it as a madcap idea, John Buchanan is rumoured to have found some logic in it and is looking for a team where he can put it in practice.

Pix: BBC News

No pretension please, we hate Test cricket

Unless someone calls their bluff and comes up with decisive evidence, Bangladesh have won their second Test match. Please note, their last win came against Zimbabwe in 2005.

And Adam Gilchrist still moans the lack of Olympic spirit in the sub-continent.

Again, unless someone calls the bluff, Bangla Tigers beat West Indies.

Now don't ask how much West Indies. It would suffice to say that the assortment was led by a certain Floyd Reifer who had played his last Test when Bill Clinton was battling 'Monicagate', George W Bush's English grammar classes were confined to Texas and Paris Hilton had just been expelled from school in what was the first concrete sign of becoming the scourge of humanity that she is today.

Now how this win helps Bangladesh, perhaps the biggest sceptic of its own Test status, is beyond me.

And how the defeat helps West Indies Cricket Board to get even with the boycotting players is equally beyond me.

No pretension please. We don't love Test cricket.

Doosra Annual Award 2008

Light…camera…action.

Time for red carpet, stealth light, stretch limos, bowties, pinstripes and black satin gowns. As another year goes by, welcome to the second Doosra Annual Award Gala Night. A tradition started last year, Doosra doles out the annual gongs and the winners are:

Col Gaddafi Club Membership: MS Dhoni, the only other living person with a retinue of female bodyguards.

Australian National Sportfishing Association (ANSA) Man of the Year: Andrew ‘gone-fishing’ Symonds (he’ll collect the award after returning from the fishing trip).

Yo-Yo award: Mohd Yousuf, for completing the ICL-IPL-ICL cycle.

Alcoholic Anonymous Citation: Paul Harris for his legendary candour after South Africa won the Melbourne Test. ("I don't think there's enough beer in all of Australia to satisfy us tonight.”)

Overthrow of the Year: Muntazer al-Zaidi. Having two simultaneous attempts at George W Bush and missing both speaks volume of his waywardness.

Best Ducking of the Year: George W Bush. Ducking two beamers at the same time is a feat beyond lesser mortals and this guy evaded two size 10 shoes hurled at him from less than 22 yards with no umpire to call it NO! Cricket’s loss has been politics’ loss as well.

Anti-Gambling Movement Appreciation Medal: Ishant Sharma for his taming of the ‘Punter’.

Lifetime Shit-Midas Trophy: Greg Chappell. Everything he touched became shit. Look at Australia.

Annual Humble Pie Award: Kevin Pietersen, for his pie-chucker comments.

Lapidary Association Medallion: Sachin Tendulkar, for advocating the evolutionary stone-to-milestone theory.

The VIBGYOR Trophy: Adam Gilchrist, for badmouthing Tendulkar in ‘True Colours of My Life’ and then changing colour and crying hosanna of the Little Master.

Poppy Growers’ Appreciation Medal: Mohd Asif.

Gandhi Truth Award: Gautam Gambhir for his blatant truth that elbowing Shane Watson "wasn’t deliberate".