When Tagore shared a train journey with Baba Sehgal

Baba Sehgal: Oye hoye, Santa Claus! Isn’t it August only? Idli dubega sambhar mein/Christmas to December mein!

Tagore: Dustu chhele, it’s me, Gurudev.

Baba Sehgal: Chha gaya Guruuuuu!

Tagore: Come again?

Baba Sehgal: Sorry, that was Sidhu paaji’s line. Jab mian-biwi raazi/muhavra marega Sidhu paaji...

Tagore: Dustu chhele, you speak gibberish...

Baba Sehgal: Coconut matlab nariyal/are you Tagore the Real?

Tagore: What nonsense! Hey, hey, keep your hands off my beard. I shampoo it daily.

Baba Sehgal: Aha! Chamak a gaya shampoo se, GF layi Thimphu se (plays tabla on the food tray).

Tagore: Keep quiet please, will you?

Baba Sehgal: Sure. OK, how much did your national anthem sell?

Tagore: What do you mean?

Baba Sehgal: I’m sure not more than my “Thanda Thanda Paani”?

Tagore: This is surreal! Do you even know the anthem?

Baba Sehgal: Don’t underestimate me Gurudev! (begins playing tabla on tray) “Sa re jahan se achha...”

Tagore: (sighs) Clearly one man’s anthem is another’s anathema...

Baba Sehgal: Achcha Gurudev, did the Bangladeshis pay you for writing their anthem?

Tagore: Are you crazy? Where was Bangladesh then?

Baba Sehgal: In Bangladesh, of course! Gavaskar bhi Sunny, Leone be Sunny/aap Gurudev too much funny. By the way Gurudev, you wrote so many jingles...

Tagore: (massages chest) Poem beta, poems.

Baba Sehgal: Same thing. Which one is your favourite?

Tagore: (cheers up a bit) “Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high…” Do you know when I wrote it?

Baba Sehgal: Dadiji maike jaane ke baad, hain na? hain na? (attempts high-fives and bursts into laughter).

Tagore: (sighs) I have to get down here. They are supposed to send someone with a car.

Baba Sehgal: Can I tag along? Just sing once: "Aaja meri gaadi me baith jaa, aaja meri gaadi me baith jaa..."

Tagore: Sorry, the only song that I feel like singing is one of my own, “Ekla Chalo Re..."(deboards)

"...And miles to go before I sleep" and 7 variations

"...And miles to go before I sleep"

Now why on earth Robert Frost felt it necessary to share his sleeping habits with us is something we'd never know but as luck would have it, the seven-word-sentence mentioned above happens to be one of the most quoted lines of poetry.

Below are the seven variations of the line from Frost's "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening":

1. Miles to go before I sleep ~ Kumbhakarna.

2. Miles to go before eye-to-eye sleep ~ Tahir Shah

3. Inches to go before I sleep ~ HD Deve Gowda

4. Smiles to go before I sleep ~ Navjot Sidhu

5. Kilometres to go before I sleep ~ Staunch metric system supporter

6. Miles to go before iSleep ~ Apple generation

7. Frequent flier miles to go before I sleep ~ Pratibha Patil

Indian Grand Prix: Live Commentary by Ravi Shastri and Navjot Sidhu

Ravi Shastri: Welcome to Indian Grand Prix. The news from centre is Red Bull’s Sebastian Vettel has won the toss and decided to bat first. Err...I mean...has won the pole and decided to finish first. Greater Noidaaaaaaaaa. Are you readyyyyyy?

Navjot Sidhu: Oye guruuuuu. My lines are ready too, thoko tali. The grass is green, the sky is blue, Ecclestone’s daughter is down with flu...

RS: Cut the crap Sherry. The atmosphere is electric at Buddh International Circuit. There is some dew, I just got the feeling that gripping steering would be difficult later in the race. Whoever wins the toss should...err, I keep forgetting there is no toss. Let’s move to the commentary box.

NS: Chha gaya guru, chal!

RS: Ladies and gentlemen, here we go! The 3rd Indian Grand Prix is on and Sebastian Vettel is off like a tracer bullet!

NS: Bas kar yaar! If Vettel is bullet then Alonso is not too late, and I see Grosjean, stepping up to the plate. Thoko taali!

RS: A flying start for Vettel taking advantage of field restrictions but Webber is cutting loose here. Sherry, I just got the feeling that Vettel and Alonso will give it everything.

NS: Bas kar yaar! Remember, a wire catches fire like the pant of a liar…

RS: He started off well but the question is will Vettel win? Will he lose? Will it be a tie? At this stage, all three results are possible!

NS: Tie? my dear friend, a tie is a pie in the sky and its chances are well nigh…

RS: Vettel is changing tyre here and rejoins race. He’s just upped the ante!

NS: Chha gaya guruuuu! Ante or aunty, Babli aur Bunty, I’m feeling hungry, can I have some bun-tea? Thoko tali…

RS: Now Alonso hits Webber! Remember, when Alonso hits, it stays hit! The race is going down to the wire. Well, not really. Vettel has built a healthy lead. I think he should declare now and put the opposition in. What do you think Sherry?

NS: Oye guruuuu, declare is like éclairs, you shouldn’t delay.

RS: Another DLF maximum! Vettel clocks the fastest lap! Excellent running between the wickets. Sherry, I think he should try a slower one and deceive his rivals. Just what the doctor ordered!

NS: Oye guruuuu, speed is like weed. It gives you a kick. Why should Vettel slow down? Remember when you go with the flow, you don’t glow when you slow.

RS: Looks like Alonso got stuck in heavy traffic! I just got the feeling that he will take the aerial route. He’s trailing but Alonso is a cool customer with loads of experience. He will soon be dealing in boundaries.

NS: Boundaries! Guruuuu, you mean he will hit the boundary tyrewall?

RS: Not at all Sherry. Boundary means he’d overtake four cars at a time.

NS: Chha gaya guruuu! Webber retired, Pic retired, seems Hulkenberg too retired…It’s reminding me of the cycle stand at Rajendrs Talkies in Patiala – one falls and the whole row collapses!

RS: Sherry, we are talking about F1, not bicycles, ok? concentrate on the race, it’s about to end. I’ll tell Srini Sir to dock half your salary and give it to me instead. And as we talk, Vettel hits DLF maximum! A huge six…th successive win with Alonso nowhere in sight!

NS: Oye guruuuu, maza a gaya. My dear Ravi, Vettel is like the King among men, peacock among hen...

RS: ...and unlike you, sober among insane. Moron. Well, that’s it from Buddh International Circuit. We all saw a high-scoring contest. It was a cracker of a race and fair to say that in the end, cricket was the real winner.

(Pix: AP)

10 Things That Have Left Solar System With Voyager I

So Voyager I has left the Solar System. Now what prompted this abrupt exit nobody knows.

Elevation of a younger space probe that hurt the patriarch? Lure of a greener pasture in some other universe? Lack of breathing space in an increasingly crowded space?

We probably would never know. But it's not only the spacecraft which has left.

Below, Doosra lists 10 things that have left Solar System With Voyager I.

1. S Sreesanth's career;

2. L.K. Advani's Prime Ministerial aspirations;

3. Shahid Afridi's birth certificate;

4. Ishant Sharma's skills;

5. Omar Abdullah's baldness;

6. The 'a' from Ajay Devgn's surname;

7. Tusshar Kapoor's tongue, which explains his gibberish in the "Golmaal" series and subsequent trash;

8. Sanity from Rohit Shetty blockbusters;

9. Navjot Sidhu's reticence;

and finally:

10. Arnab Goswami, whose conspicuous absence from Newshour is fuelling speculations that he is actually piloting Voyager I out of the Solar System. "Going by the noise Voyager I is making, that's a distinct possibility which can't be ruled out," a NASA scientist told Doosra strictly on condition of anonymity.

Pix: BBC

India's Royal Reaction To Prince Cambridge

1. He should be named IRCTC. Took so long. ~ An IRCTC victim.

2. Prince Cambridge? Dare to think beyond Cambridge. Think IIPM ~ Arindam Chaudhury.

3. Dude, he's a kid...Being Human, you see... Well, invite him to any Iftar party, will hug him too. ~ Salman Khan.

4. Oye, chha gaya guruuu. Like a fly rather sly on a ply, like a cow chewing plough don't know how, like a goat eating coat on a boat... khatak! ~ Navjot Sidhu.

5. We should not forget that the kid is English and English is hurting me...I mean India. ~ Rajnath Singh.

6. We decry dynasty rule but wish Prince Cambridge a smooth reign as future head of the Commonwealth ~ Congress.

7. I have penned and composed a birthday song which, incidentally, may sound familiar but is my original creation. ♬ Happy Birthday To You, Happy Birthday To You ♬ ~ Pritam.