5 Simple Joys Of A Guy's Life

1. Slipping a tattered, cellotaped currency note to one of those autowallas who fleece you on a daily basis;

2. Identifying the right passenger, anticipating his destination, positioning yourself accordingly and eventually occupying the seat he vacates, much to the envy of fellow commuters;

3. A pebble you casually threw hitting the lamp post bang in the middle and producing that sweet, musical sound you haven't heard in a long time;

4. Predicting a single digit score for Rohit Sharma and watching him living upto the expectations;

5. Realising your off day coincides with the last date for collection of contribution for the farewell of a colleague you don't really count among your pals.

20 Hindi Brand Songs!

1. Sarki chunariya re, Zara Zara...
2. Yeh andha Canon hai..
3. IBM-e-Batuta, bagal me joota...
4. GE karda bhai GE karda...
5. Dil mein mere hai Dard-e-Cisco...
6. Citi ayee hai ayee hai Citi ayee hai..
7. Yeh Honda kanun hai...
8. Aanewala Apple jaanewala hai...
9. Sony aa dil se mila de dil, just chill, chill...
10. Nike paan banaraswala, khul jaye bandh akal ka talaa...
11. Aaj me UPS, asmaan neeche...
12. SAPne me milti hai o kudi meri...
13. Prada hai Prada, Prada ke peeche Prada nasheen hai ...
14. Kuchh Kellog's kahenge...
15. Gucci Gucci Rakkamma...
16. AIG oji loji sunoji...
17. Matru ka Bijli Ka Motorola...
18. Dil ke Armani aansuo me beh gaye...
19. O Marriott o Marriott o Marriott ho ho ho...
20. Visa ho ya dil ho akhir tut jata hai...

7 Reactions To Lance Armstrong’s Dope Confession!

1. Swamutra is the best performance-enhancing substance and it's not on WADA list of banned drugs either. Lance should have come to me ~ Swami Agnivesh.

2. Neil Armstrong's confession saddens me and I strongly condemn it. Even Hina Rabbani Khar would agree with me ~ SM Krishna.

3. I always had doubts about him. He cycles faster than my deliveries! ~ Irfan Pathan.

4. I think Lance Armstrong has been targetted. I tell you this performance-enhancing drug is a hoax. I took them myself and my acting never improved ~ Tusshar Kapoor.

5. Who needs dope Tamanna? Mere paas to performance enhance karne ka aur do-do ideas hai ~ Virat Kohli.

6. I always had my suspicion. His bike always looked dented and painted ~ Abhijit Mukherjee.

7. Culprits would be brought to the book. Theek Hai? ~ PM.

Doosra Annual Awards 2012

It was a night of red carpet, stealth light, stretch limos, bowties, pinstripes and black satin gowns.

In other words, it was Doosra Annual Award Gala Night at an undisclosed location.

Ok, without testing your patience, here are the annual gongs and the winners:

1. Bollywood Balloon D’or: Vidya Balloon Balan.

2. DNA Father of the Nation: N D Tiwary.

3. Olympian of the Year: Madhura Honey. Ok, Nagendra.

4. Nephew of the Year: Suresh Raina’s nephew.

5. Athlete of the Year: Baba Ramdev, for his national record-bettering high-jump at Ramlila Ground.

6. Alternative Beverage Promotion Society’s Man of the Year: Swami Agnivesh for pioneering Swamutra.

7. Driver of the Year: Nitin Gadkari's driver. Special jury award to Abhishek Manu Singhvi's driver.

8. Cliche Oscar: The contest went down to the wire but in the end, Ravi Shastri was the real winner. He received a trace-bullet shaped trophy from beaten finalist Navjot Sidhu.

9. Hearing Aid Manufacturer Association Citation: Arnab Goswami

10. Vowel Promotion Society's Personality of the Year: Tusshar Kapoor for confining his on-screen eloquence to a-e-i-o-u.

11. Wooer of the Year: Virat Kohli. Always armed with two ladki-patanewala ideas.

12. Bollywood Debutante of the Year: Aaradhya Bachchan. She already has as many hits as Esha Deol had in her entire career.

13. Indian Grooms Association's Appreciation Medal: Siddharth Mallya for his seminal work on Ideal Future Wife.

14: Girlfriend Valuer of the Year: Narendra Modi for calling Sunanda Pushkar Shashi Tharoor’s Rs 50 crore girlfriend.

15. Gurgaon Fruit Seller Association's Man of the Year: Robert Vadra for his "mango people in banana republic" post.

(P.S.
Doosra Annual Award 2008
Doosra Annual Award 2009
Doosra Annual Awards 2010)

7 Reactions To Ricky Ponting's Retirement

1. Kapil Sibal: CAG trying to exaggerate the impact of his retirement. It’s completely insignificant. Zero loss to international cricket;

2. Prime Minister: I assure the nation, the culprits would be brought to book.

3. Meira Kumar: No standing ovation please. Please baith jaiyye, shaant ho jaiyye.

4. SM Krishna: Ricky Martin's retirement is a great loss to international cricket. Even Hina would agree with me.

5. Sushma Swaraj: Motamaal kamaya hoga. No need to get unnecessarily sentimental.

6. Shahid Afridi: As a veteran, I'd say occasional retirement is good for health but he shouldn't overdo it.

7. Manish Tiwari: A prolific batsman! Arrey woh aadmi to khud sar-se-pao tak run me duba hua hai!

EXCLUSIVE: The Real Reason Behind Bachchan-Gandhi Split

Rajiv Gandhi: So you won't budge?
Amitabh Bachchan: Budge? How can you even think of that?
RG: You forgot the days we spent together right from Doon school?
AB: Of course not!
RG: You forgot those proxies and everything else that I did for you?
AB: As if I did not!
RG: No, I mean both of us did.
AB: Then?
RG: Then what? You can't do such a simple thing for your Bhabi?
AB: Bud, it's impossible.
RG: Why? You are a superstar! You can dictate the director or the producer!
AB: It doesn't work like that in Bollywood, why don't you understand?
RG: You mean you won't change it?
AB: Chum, listen, don't be foolish.
RG: You can't do this simple act to please your bhabi?
AB: No, I can't.
RG: So the film title remains "Aakhree Rasta"?
AB: Yes, it remains "Aakhree Rasta".
RG: And you can't make it "Aakhree Pasta" to please your Bhabi? Just a matter of changing one letter?
AB: I'm sorry I can't.
RG: Well mate, you lost me there. I guess that's it then. Our paths part from here and they they never cross again.
AB: But..hell...listen...
RG: Thanks for the memories bud, bye.

Pix: www.indiatoday.intoday.in

10 Mahabharata One-Liners You Didn't Know

1. Excuse me, thoda kum nahi ho sakta? ~ Draupadi when told she'd have to marry all 5 Pandavas.

2. Rest in Piece ~ Bhim after splitting Jarasandha into two;

3. Mujh par ek ehsaan karna, ki mujh par koi ehsaan na karna ~ Karna, rejecting Kunti's offer to switch loyalty.

4. Mere Karna-Arjun ayenge, zaroor ayenge ~ Kunti in her dream.

5. Bhaiyya, aapke mobile pe tower hai? ~ Arjun asking Yudhisthi during Vanvaas.

6. Don't be a sissy. Just Do It ~ Krishna after his Gita harangue failed to instigate Arjun's killer instinct.

7. Kutte, kaminey, mai tera khoon pi jaunga ~ Bhim, before killing Dushasana.

8. Nakul, you idiot, dial 101 before uploading pictures on Facebook ~ Yudhisthir after Jatugriha caught fire.

9. Prabhu, zara 'Tera Suroor' bajake sunaiyye na ~ Radha to Krishna.

10. Salaa, aaj hi stepney bhool gaya ~ Karna when his chariot got stuck at Kurukshetra.