Budget 2014: 10 Random Observations

1. Honourable Finance Minister spoke for two hours but it's actually a one-line budget. Sardar Patel Statuetory warning: Smoking is injurious to wealth.

2. Oil products to be cheaper. Afraid it would boost sycophancy.

3. Cigarettes to cost more. It's clearly a pro-rich budget. Only the rich can now afford those diseases that smoking causes.

4. How do I pay "indirect tax"? Instead of giving it directly to the guy at counter, I submit it via pantry boy?

5. Rather happy with "Krishi Darshan". Finally something to bring smile on the face of poor farmers like Robert Vadra and Amitabh Bachchan.

6. Cigarette to cost more, footwear to be cheaper. The underlying message is: kick the bad habit or smoke footwear.

7. Soap to be cheaper. Munaf Patel should have no excuse now.

8. Cigarette to be costlier (leitmotif of this piece). It means Bollywood will have to be more creative. Any bidi/cigarette chewer cannot be passed as a poor street urchin, however shabby the dress is.

9. Finance Minister sipped water while presenting budget. Was Hema Malini around to make sure it was Kent RO treated?

10. Cigarette costlier, footwear cheaper. Can you still crush cigarette butts under your footwear?

Doosra Annual Awards 2012

It was a night of red carpet, stealth light, stretch limos, bowties, pinstripes and black satin gowns.

In other words, it was Doosra Annual Award Gala Night at an undisclosed location.

Ok, without testing your patience, here are the annual gongs and the winners:

1. Bollywood Balloon D’or: Vidya Balloon Balan.

2. DNA Father of the Nation: N D Tiwary.

3. Olympian of the Year: Madhura Honey. Ok, Nagendra.

4. Nephew of the Year: Suresh Raina’s nephew.

5. Athlete of the Year: Baba Ramdev, for his national record-bettering high-jump at Ramlila Ground.

6. Alternative Beverage Promotion Society’s Man of the Year: Swami Agnivesh for pioneering Swamutra.

7. Driver of the Year: Nitin Gadkari's driver. Special jury award to Abhishek Manu Singhvi's driver.

8. Cliche Oscar: The contest went down to the wire but in the end, Ravi Shastri was the real winner. He received a trace-bullet shaped trophy from beaten finalist Navjot Sidhu.

9. Hearing Aid Manufacturer Association Citation: Arnab Goswami

10. Vowel Promotion Society's Personality of the Year: Tusshar Kapoor for confining his on-screen eloquence to a-e-i-o-u.

11. Wooer of the Year: Virat Kohli. Always armed with two ladki-patanewala ideas.

12. Bollywood Debutante of the Year: Aaradhya Bachchan. She already has as many hits as Esha Deol had in her entire career.

13. Indian Grooms Association's Appreciation Medal: Siddharth Mallya for his seminal work on Ideal Future Wife.

14: Girlfriend Valuer of the Year: Narendra Modi for calling Sunanda Pushkar Shashi Tharoor’s Rs 50 crore girlfriend.

15. Gurgaon Fruit Seller Association's Man of the Year: Robert Vadra for his "mango people in banana republic" post.

(P.S.
Doosra Annual Award 2008
Doosra Annual Award 2009
Doosra Annual Awards 2010)