10 Predictions

* Every Indian village will get its own CCD by 2019;

* Investigation will eventually reveal Indrani Mukherjee was born after she married herself;

* Agencies supplying freelance hunger strikers will soon be a reality;

* India and Pakistan will fight the next war not over Kashmir but over Rameez Raja -- each insisting the other keeps him;

* People who begin sentence with "Basically" would be doubly taxed;

* India's cricket clout will grow so much that ICC will have to apply for BCCI membership;

* iPhone will emerge as a new monotheistic religion;

* People who use "Password" as their password will be publicly shamed;

* Launching satellites through ISRO will be cheaper than travelling from Gurgaon to Noida by Uber/Ola;

* Audrey Hepburn will return from the dead to tell us that all the black-and-white photographs of hers flooding social media are fake.

(Here are "15 Predictions")

(Here are "15 More Predictions")

15 More Predictions

1. Mukesh Ambani will buy Greece from an auction outbidding a Qatari royal and bring it under Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporation;

2. Farmers’ suicide will finally be a thing of the past as there won’t be any left to attempt it;

3. An Indian will invent a cordless mobile charger which would double up as pajama drawstring;

4. Shoaib Akhtar will pip Rameez Raja to Indian citizenship;

5. Mahatma Gandhi will appear during a joint parliament session, demanding his name is deleted from history, insisting he wants none of it;

6. The UN will ban IPL and all franchise-based sports leagues simply for coming up with such ghastly names for the teams;

7. Trying to create the photographic illusion of touching the top of the minaret at Taj Mahal and similar structures will be declared as mental illness;

8. Eclairs will become legitimate currency;

9. Girls with moustache and guys with pot-belly will dominate the next decade;

10. New breed of hens will directly lay boiled egg.

11. Shah Rukh Khan will lose a Bollywood Dahi Handi competition to Ranvir Kapoor after selecting the likes of Kailash Kher, Aamir Khan and Rajpal Yadav in his team. The human pyramid didn’t come anywhere near the pot;

12. A new Nehru biography will disclose he was actually called "Cha Cha" Nehru for being nimble-footed in that Cuban dance form;

13. Chetan Bhagat will confess his latest books are duds and he buys thousands of them himself to make them best-sellers.

14. Future poll promises by political parties will include offer to help people climb out of their skinny jeans;

15. Death will be optional.