India reacts to Laxman’s retirement: Doosra post from JAIL!

1. Harbhajan Singh: Sad, we should send Andrew Symonds to talk Laxman out of retirement. You know who drove sense back into Laxman in Ramayana, don’t you?

2. Virat Kohli: Sh*t Happens!

3. Shivpal Yadav: Laxman consulted me and I told him you can quit international cricket a bit but don't quit Ranji.

4. Madhura Honey aka Nagendra: Oh hell, I didn’t know he would quit. Else could have gatecrashed his press conference.

5. Sania Mirza: Another Hyderabadi has been used as a bait! It’s an insult to womanhood.

6. Anu Malik: I’m told Laxman has got a great Inner Voice. Can we have him in Indian Idol?

7. Manmohan Singh: Laxman’s retirement is a rumour with its origin somewhere in Pakistan and I appeal to people from northeast not to panic;

8. Arun Jaitley: People are missing the woods for the trees here. The real issue is there was a powercut during Laxman’s press conference and Congress is trying to use Laxman’s retirement as a ruse to divert our attention from a larger issue;

9. ..... finally the JAIL bit. Well, Doosra wanted Manata Banerjee’s view on the subject and had merely asked the harmless question : "Didi, how do you react to Laxman’s retirement?" Within seconds, one was frogmarched out of the house and into a jail, the location of which would be shared once known.

6 Reactions To The Eden Gardens Circus/Carnival

Kolkata feted KKR like it's going out of vogue.

I caught a glimpse of Mamata Banerjee clapping in a local TV channel. A few weren't sure they didn't see her even swaying, if not outrightly swinging those durable slippers, or Hawai Chappal (no blood relations whatsoever with Australian Chappell), as they Kol in Calcutta. Ok, call in Kolkata. Have it as you like folks.

Quite a few Bengali Bhadraloks were alarmed by what they called the brazen display of 'Oposongskriti' (cultural decadence is a lame translation of this priceless Bengali term).

Personally speaking, I'm a content man, convinced I've seen all there was to be seen.

In fact, I now have a story to tell my grandchildren. That of Shah Rukh Khan kissing the top of Mamata Banerjee's dome, the content of which remains one of 21st century's major unsolved mysteries.

Of course some of the SRK fans insist it should not be held against the showman and blame it on Kolkata's maddening heat, every time I think of it, it gives me a sensation that starts with a goose and ends with bumps.

When Doosra approached politicians and celebs to see how they viewed the celebration, some of the reactions were so sharp that a kid asked if he could borrow one to sharpen his pencil.

Sample the stuff:

Bappi Lahiri: I'm told all KKR player got a gold chain? You know what? First time I regret my Bollywood career and wish I were a cricketer. I feel like singing a sad song. "Pyar bina chain kahan re..." To hell with this song. It reminds me of that chain again!

Buddhadev Bhattacharjee: Communist Manifesto more or less covered it in the chapter which says "The Proletariats have nothing to lose but their chain". Well, the KKR players have nothing to lose but their gold chains. You know how rife pick-pocketing is in and around Eden Gardens area.

Mayawati: Mamata ji should immediate change Kolkata's name to Gautam Buddh Nagar. Arrey, in honour of Gautam Gambhir. And no Gautam Buddh Nagar is complete without a park with my statues.

Manmohan Singh: We strongly condemn the dastardly act and the culprits will be brought to book as and when they take some time off their busy schedule and make themselves available...hanji?... IPL celebration? O teri! Haan ji. Well, Madam G, matbal Madam ji, said instead of Sandesh, KKR players could have eaten a slice of pizza each. But then of course Mamataji knows better.

SM Krishna: On behalf of Pakistan't cricket-following public, I congratulate KKR, its owners and the city of Kolkata on this momentous victory. However, instead of gold chain or sandesh, I think they should have gifted the KKR WAGs a birkin bag each. I have 98 of them and it has got separate compartments for...err...seems this is Hina Rabbani's speech.

Navjot Singh Sidhu: Oye chha gaya guru, chha gaya! I admire Mamata ji, my friend. A CM who hectors the PM
whether AM or PM is a CM who's heard by PM and FM on AM and FM whether AM or PM. Samajh gaya na guru? Ok, let me start from the beginning. A CM who...