Showing posts with label Karl Marx. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Karl Marx. Show all posts

Sunday, 15 November 2009

A profane post

It's potentially a fatwa-inviting post. A heresy, a sacrilege beyond redemption. But then someone had to say it I guess.

Just too much of saccharine, this Tendulkar20 business.

Deep inside, the Little Master himself must be embarrassed by the mindless hysteria he finds himself in and around him.

His fawning fans in the media have made such a vulgar song and dance of his 20 years in international cricket that I won't be surprised if he comes up with his own version of Karl Marx’s Thank-God-I'm-Not-A-Marxist renouncement.

When someone like Ravi Shastri advocates blanket imprisonment for every Tendulkar critic, you suspect fascism trying to stage a comeback with cricket as its vehicle.

Raj Thackeray can sleep peacefully. Indian cricket is in safe hands.

Elsewhere, the abysmal chumps in the media are foaming at the mouth, trying to convince us how longevity is the lone hallmark of greatness.

You wonder if they have heard about Wilfred Rhodes who had a 31-year-old international career and there are around 14 others as well who lingered for more than 20 years.

A humbug columnist questioned if any other player had hauled a nation from the depth of its sorrow like Tendulkar did by dedicating a century to the Mumbai terror victims.

While a heart-warming gesture it definitely was, the columnist apparently forgot Don Bradman had lifted the entire Australian spirit from the aftermath of the 'Great Depression'.

To be fair to Tendulkar, it's difficult to imagine him appreciating this sick media rush to usurp the milestone and milk some mileage. For, in this avalanche of feel-good interviews and familiar ego-massaging gibberish, objectivity has been sacrificed at the altar of sycophancy.

No sincere effort to gauge why two decades were not enough to silence claims that he did not win enough matches while the likes of Brian Lara won series on their own.

Reams spent on his 175 in Hyderabad against Australia, and rightly so, but not a single honest question on why he played that ugly, irresponsible shot completely unbecoming of a player of his stature.

Or for that matter, what about that steadfast political correctness, the opaqueness of which never allowed us to know actually what goes inside that great mind?

Lest you get me wrong, only fools would doubt Tendulkar's greatness. But the same fools would roam around with a superiority complex when they come across people who refuse to recognize a single grey shade in that pronounced greatness.

If anything, this eulogy deluge has cemented the notion that we are essentially, and probably incorrigibly, a nation of hyperbole and hysteria, which is ready to dump its sense of proportion at the slightest provocation.

Tendulkar once swapped a dear bat for a Mark Knoffler guitar. He has an ear for music. But I'm not sure all that is written and aired about him would come as music to those blushed ears.

(P.S. Read 7 Tendulkar Q & A here.)

Sunday, 26 July 2009

Hayden’s maiden speech at his academy circa 2012

Mate, lend me your ears or get thick ears. Ding dong and you head for billabong.

No argy-bargy, fine?

Mate, get it abso-bloody-lutely clear in your head. We are here for the serious business of batting and not tiddlywinks.

Bowlers are meant to be bagged. Bagged till no kid dreams of becoming a bowler again.

That is how ICC also wants it.

As a batsman, you would treat a bowler exactly with the same respect that a pariah dog has for the nearby lamppost.

From a socio-political point, bowlers are our class enemy, if you know your Marx well.

Karl Marx, you nitwit, not Groucho.

Remember, every maiden over is nothing but a public announcement that you have Kangaroos loose in the top paddock

Finally, a word of caution.

Beware mate. Offies from a certain northern Indian state can be quite an obnoxious weed.

And you may well come across pacers from a certain southern state, particularly with a dance back ground, with this tendency to get on your nerve.

But when going gets tough like this, don’t go troppo. Rather, ask yourself "What would Christ do?"

That’s all I had to say. Now join the chorus as we sing 'Waltzing Matilda'.