Take a bow, Jumbo

Jokes, like jokers, have a limited entertainment value, beyond which they don't amuse, only annoy. Having wagged indefatigably for 18 long years, finally no impish tongue would ask in jest whether Anil Kumble is the fastest slow bowler or the slowest fast bowler.

The subsequent avalanche of applauds was inevitable, perhaps equally so was overlooking the message sent out by the man who just walked into sunset. Predictably, we read only the words, not the deeds.

Those who care to see beyond the numbers, each of his 619 Test wickets tells a tale -- of the triumph of the trier. It says you don't need to be born special, you can work your way and become special. It says success is not an exclusive domain of the wunderkinds and toil is as important as talent.

Indeed, he didn't have the prodigious turn of a Shane Warne, probably because he was not the man for exaggeration. With his brand of leg spin, he would rather probe than poach. And yet, he was successful!

Certain success stories make their way into syllabus. Kumble's should be one, for it spreads hopes and talks about life. It says how an ordinary man can go out and make his own destiny, rather then just playing the part destiny had scripted for him.

Unlike a Warne or a Tendulkar or a Muralitharan, he was no quirk of nature, endowed generously and destined for immortality. Kumble learned and earned it. He was out and out a proud, self-made man.

His achievement transcends the limited boundary ropes of the game and spills into life, for it advocates the triumph of simple and yet so necessary values like commitment, integrity, discipline and dignity.

And it also says nice guys do finish first.

In the heart of heart, I know Kumble was surely not the best. Warne probably has a more logical, statistical and aesthetical claim as well to that. But Jumbo, when I have a kid and he or she grows up, I would love to see him/her persevere through pain, just like you did with a bandaged jaw in Antigua and a stitched finger at Kotla.

Warnie, I'm still in awe of your wile and guile and would have your poster in the study room of my kids. But sorry mate, they would rather have Jumbo as their role model.

How India could have escaped the Motera mauling

Doosra loathes to believe that despite having a mammoth support staff entourage, India could not plot a ploy to avert the mauling they received in Motera.

More than batting collapse, it was sheer lack of ideas, Doosra would put it like that.

Anyway, here are a few ways that could have saved India the second Test against South Africa. (Reading Doosra posts, I reckon, would henceforth be part of Team India’s strategising process.)

1. Motera curator Dhiraj Parsanna’s fault lies not in retaining the grass on track but his lack of pragmatism. Keeping in mind that, traditionally, green has made the Indian batsmen see red, Parsanna should have painted the grass grey. It’s all in the mind of our pampered willowers and you don't need to be a Paddy Upton to realise that.

2. I’m sorry but Anil Kumble has to shoulder some blame as well. After the first innings fiasco, Jumbo and his men should have refused to take to the ground, protesting China’s policy on Tibet; or soaring inflation; or farmers’ suicides in Vidarbhaba despite the BCCI chief doubling up as the Agriculture Minister; or South African cricket board’s transformation policy; or…well activism never runs out of causes, you know.

3. BCCI’s inertia is also to be blamed too. Headquartered in Mumbai, BCCI could have convinced the Shiv Sainiks – with an impressive track (digging) record– that South Africa is actually part of Pakistan and Graeme Smith’s team has no business playing cricket in India. Or you could simply tell them that Kallis & Co are die-hard Amitabh Bachchan fans, who are here to attend the ‘Bhootnath’ premier.

4. In case Shiv Sena was not at hand, Raj Thackeray’s Maharashtra Navnirman Sena – I admit they lack the pitch-digging skill of the Shiv Sainiks -- could be convinced that the South Africans are actually North Indian taxi-drivers and Ahmedabad actually falls under the Brihanmumbai or greater Mumbai.

Image: AFP

Kumble Quits ODI: Well Done Jumbo!

As we had discussed in this blog earlier, Anil Kumble finally quit ODI. The reticent, industrious leggie deserved to go on a high but that was not to be. Inzamam-ul Haq, who broke down after his ODI swansong, lamented he had planned to go head held high but he was simply not destined for the honour. Kumble can’t be blamed for feeling the same.

Jumbo has been the ultimate team man, India’s go-to bowler. He would bowl on and on from one end. As many as 337 wickets from 271 one-dayers at an average of 30.89 would have made any lesser mortal proud but Kumble somehow managed to be a certainty in ODI squad. It would have hit him where it hurts most every time Harbhajan Singh was preferred over him.

What amazes me is the tremendous odds he overcame. In an era when Shane Warne and Muttiah Muralitharan tied the batsmen in tangles, spinning web around them, Kumble was almost a pacer in spinner’s disguise. Unlike Warne and Murali, his bowling was more grits and guts and not guiles. He would change the pace, maintain an unerring line and get that kick from the pitch to trouble every batsman under the Sun. And he never relaxed.

He was more on song in white flannels than the colourful pajama. He would brave a fractured jaw to come out and bowl in a 2005 Antigua Test but his day in the Sun had come an year earlier, when he got that Perfect 10, equaling Jim Laker’s record of taking all 10 wickets in a Test innings.

We mocked his loose-limbed action, laughed at the lack of turn, ridiculed his batting and fielding and yet, day in and day out, the captain would throw the ball to him, expecting him to either earn a breakthrough or stem the run flow. And Kumble invariably succeeded in either of the two. We are unlikely to see another spinner of his kind.