Showing posts with label Hashim Amla. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hashim Amla. Show all posts

Saturday, 12 February 2011

Live from Chennai : SA v Zimbabwe warm-up match!

1645: Zimbabwer 127/6 after 36 overs. S Africa skipper Graeme Smith has employed 8 bowlers so far. No South African seems safe anymore. By this rate, the ailing Nelson Mandela will be bowling the 49th over. Mind it, Mandela wished them luck before they started for India.

1647: South Africa unleashed their Pakistan-born spinner Imran Tahir in this match. He's an uncapped player. With such richly streaked hair, anyone would prefer to remain without a cap. Those who came late, Tahir settled in S Africa to marry a girl he had been stumped by in 1998 when he was a member of the visiting Pakistan U-19 team. True love took him to S Africa. I suspect, it could be the ISD bill.

1700: Tatenda Taibu fell for a golden duck. In yesterday's media session, Taibu said he was Shah Rukh Khan's son's favourite cricketer in KKR days. Let us forgive such childish immaturity.

1708: Tahir reminds us only change is constant. He changes end, from Pattabhiraman End to Pavilion End and back to Pattabhiraman End. You sort of feel for him. Cricket fields sure can have more than two ends.

1719: Zimbabwe all out for 152 in 42nd over. They looked in a greater hurry to leave the field than Mubarak would be to leave Cairo.
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1725: Five TNCA groundsmen roll the pitch at innings break. A recurring theme in Doosra, Ramesh Powar would have rendered the roller redundant.

1728: Nearly one thousand crowd turned up for the match. Either most of has have no purpose in life or we can't resist watching brothers fighting each other. As of now, Big Brother S Africa has pinned down continental brother Zimbabwe.

1731: S Africa open with Hashim Amla. Bowler Chris Mpofu can lodge a legitimate complain that he can't see 'keeper Taibu's face because of Amla's flowing beard that stands in the way.

1737: An obese South African support staff walks past sightscreen with great difficulty. If you know how to do it and have a nice knife, you can carve out two support staff out of him.

1901: Hashim Amla falls, Kallis walks in. Zimbabweans not sure if removing Amla was a good idea. Doosra seconds demand to call Amla the W.G. Grace of his generation (only the beard is black) and Kallis the modern-age Sobers.

1907: Salim Malik...err...Salim Ali would know the birds currently hovering over MA Chinnaswamy Stadium. Doosra can vouch it's not Dickie Bird. Circling like vultures would but Tsotsobe was only injured and got up after two minutes of his impersonation of a corpse.

1911: Kallis loses his boot while running, which is any day better than getting the footwear. Voucher will Bouch...err...Boucher will vouch for that.

1919: Kallis hits Cremer for two sixes and Smith whacks Lamb for one. In the same area where the crowd number has swollen to 10K! They are playing to the galleries now.

0105: Match ended some 5 hours before. In the post-match press conference, Graeme Smith said the track was under-prepared. Maybe but as long as lives are not lost and the same track is offered to both sides, don't really know why he cribs. Team manager says there is still some life in Lonwabo Tsotsobe, who will be assessed in the morning. Will be back in Chennai for Kenya v NZ...quite a murky tie...err...make it marquee.

P.S. Soul? Forget it. At best, I'm the master of my sole and my posts would be erratic and sporadic throughout the World Cup. Readers have been kinder to Doosra than Manmohan Singh has been to A Raja and hope you bear with me.

Saturday, 1 January 2011

Doosra Annual Awards 2010

Time for red carpet, stealth light, stretch limos, bowties, pinstripes and satin gowns.

Ladies, gentlemen and otherwise, here goes the Doosra Annual Awards 2010:

1. Alternative Food Promotion Society's Man of the Year: Shahid Afridi, for his pioneering ball-biting act;

2.Annual Boom-to-Boomerang Medal:Lalit Modi (He can't enter India, hence sent legal counsel to receive the award).

3. Ravana Reincarnation Medal: Shane Warne, for his wife-stealing act that prompted Arun Nayar to update his Facebook status back to singles;

4. Sholay Lovers' Association's Real Viru Award: MS Dhoni, for his inability to win toss; Dhoni also gets Ranchi Milk Supplier Association's special discount coupons and Hush-Hush Society's Man of the Year, for keeping teammates in dark about his marrige;

5. The Annual Shit-Midas Trophy: Greg Chappell wins third straight time to retain the rolling trophy. He ruined Australia this time;

6. The Fake Rajnikant Trophy: Daniel Vettori, who was captain-coach-selector of the NZ team that got whitewashed by Bangladesh.

7. Sri Lanka chapter of We Mean Mean Society's Mean of the Year: Suraj Randiv, for that century-denying no-ball to Sehwag.

8. George Bush Medal for Extraordinary Hurled-Shoe Ducker (largest nominations): Jointly to Tony Blair, John Howard, Asif Ali Zardari, Omar Abdullah and Neveen Jindal.

9. Promote Facial Growth Society's Man of the Year: Hashim Amla.

10. Houdini Act of the Year: Zulqarnaine Haider, for vanishing in Dubai and resurfacing in London.

P. S. Doosra Annual Awards 2009, 2008.

Thursday, 4 February 2010

Make Hashim Amla Gujarat’s Brand Ambassador!


It won't probably come under 'Off The Rocker' head but sample the recent decisions and you know the celebrated Modi acumens too have their occasional feet of clay.

Simply not at their best, neither Lalit nor Narendra (NM henceforth).

Take the case of the Gujarat strongman. Otherwise a sound egg, NM made Amitabh Bachchan (AB henceforth), God bless his daughter-in-law, Gujarat's brand ambassador!

This is when the moth-eaten fabrics, smelly hair oil, stop-start pens and rummy cements that AB peddles on telly are certified dust-gatherers.

And AB visits Gujarat only when his flight can't land in Mumbai and needs to crash-land in Ahmedabad.

Paris Hilton is more Gujarati than AB, you might say.

So why not make Hashim Amla (HA henceforth) Gujarat's brand ambassador, NM?

HA has Gujarati roots at least!

And like all successful Gujaratis, he has only roots in the state while the trunk and branches continue to flourish abroad. What's the Big (B) deal?

Pluck a beard each and HA beats AB, and beats him hollow.

Also consider that HA doesn't even wear alcohol logos, which would have fitted like glove with the state's policy of sobriety.

If NM's heart can bleed for the Gujaratis in Kenya, why not the nearby Durban?

One plausible reason could be that NM doesn't like the name, Hashim Amla. But there is a way out!

Call him Hashmukh Amin then and make him Gujarat's brand ambassador!