Showing posts with label APJ Abdul Kalam. Show all posts
Showing posts with label APJ Abdul Kalam. Show all posts

Tuesday, 8 May 2012

7 Reasons Why I Should Be The Next India President!

The election of India's next President seems a three-horse race with Pranab Mukherjee as the front-runner, Hamid Ansari hot on his heels and APJ Abdul Kalam as the proverbial dark equine.

Well, even Ajit Agarkar can tell you that what the venerable trio need is not presidency but a bottle of Sandhi-Sudha, a hair transplant and a haircut, in the said order.

As Arindam Chaudhuri, the greatest pony-tail of our generation, hollers from magazine covers - dare to think beyond the obvious.

Here's why it makes colossal sense to make me the next India President:

1. I have serious contempt for major political parties, which means I won’t discriminate against anyone;

2.There are no land-grabbing allegations against me;

3. While taking guard of honour, I can stand erect without looking like a cartoon that Mamata Banerjee can ban anytime;

4. A 2BHP part of the Rashtrapati Bhavan will do for me. Lights/fans/ACs in rest of the building will remain switched off resulting in significant savings.

5. I'm good with kids. I'm told this is a must for the job and one of the former occupants of this building built his reputation around this sole virtue:

6. I can say in exactly five minutes what some annually blabber over an hour-and-half. And I can make it even enjoyable;

and finally:

7. My landlord has asked me to vacate the flat and I badly need a place to stay :(