Scoop: Srikkanth-Anna Hazare teleconversation!

Hear it here first.

Anna Hazare had barely drained that glass of honey-laced coconut water when his mobile rang. Anna was surprised to find that the person at the other end was Srikkanth.

Below is the final instalment of Doosra’s own WikiLeak:

Srikkanth: Hello... WhadDoYouKhalIt... KhanISpheakToHanna?

Anna Hazare: Hello beta. Did you mean Anna?

Srikkanth: HabsolutelyYes,That’sWhyISaid...Hanna.

Anna Hazare: Well beta, I’d be happy if you call me Anna.

Srikkanth: KhamOnDude... JustKhalledYouThat... Hanna.

Anna Hazare: Ok beta, since you insist. Hanna here.

Srikkanth: WhadDoYouKhalIt... I’mTheChiefSelectorAndWeNeedAPlayer... SoHanna... WillYouPlayForIndia?.

Anna Hazare: Me? But beta I’ve not played cricket ever.

Srikkanth: DoesNotMatterHanna...
SomeOfOurPlayersGiveTheExactImpression... YouHoccupiedCreaseForMoreThan12DaysAtRamLila... MoreThanDhoniAndOtherBuggersDidInHingland... That'sHenoughForMe

Anna Hazare: But...

Srikkanth: WhatButMan... AndYouAlreadyInGoodKhompany... HeardYouHaveATeamThatHincludes... AravindaDeSilva.

Anna Hazare: Beta, you got it wrong. It’s Arvind Kejriwal.

Srikkanth: YouHabsolutelySure?WellYouHaveKiranMoreAtLeast.

Anna Hazare: Beta., it's Kiran Bedi and not More.

Srikkanth: YouHabsolutelySure?ThoughtIt'sKiranMore...TheHairStyle... HabsolutelyHolyMess... GotHerNumberFromSomeoneAndSentADirtyJokeHassumingSheIsKiranMore.

Anna Hazare: Don’t worry beta. Fear no harm. Like me, she’s also a Gandhian.

Srikkanth: WhadDoYouKhalIt... BothOfYouAre GotGAndhiFans?Khan’tBelieveIt... AlwaysThoughtHeWasHabsolutelyCrap.

Anna Hazare: What are you talking about beta! You pain me.

Srikkanth:PainYou?

Anna Hazare: Haan beta. How can you speak like that about Baapu?

Srikkanth: WhadDoYouKhalIt... ThoughtYouTalkedAboutDevangGandhi... Baapu... YesLikedHim... HeWasOurBestSpinner.

Anna Hazare: What are you talking beta? First calling me Hanna and now saying Bapu was a spinner...I’me having chest pain now.

Srikkanth: Habsolutely... Don’tYouKnowHeSpunCharkha... WishHeWasHaround... WouldHaveReplacedBhajjiWithGandhi…ByTheWayHanna... YouMustBeHungryHAfterTheFast... Let’sGoForADinner... IlikeYou... KhonsiderMeAPal.

Anna Hazare: I don’t have any pal beta, I have only Lokpal. But I can’t go for a dinner because I don’t eat at night beta.

Srikkanth: IDon’tEatAtNightToo... Maybe some
ChoruSambharRasamKootuThayirPuliyodaraiIdiyappamAppam.... nothing More.. HopeYouDon’tKhalItEating? Hello...Hello...Helloo.

Ind-Aus series in light of Evolution Theories!

Survival of the Fittest: Not sure if Darwin wanted us to barge into the nearest gym with vengeance. But when you realize that only 8 of Australia’s original 15-member squad survived the 7–ODI rigour, you know Darwin was not driveling;

Natural Selection: Darwin propounded some individuals survive more than their jealous peers for no particular reason. Cricket anthropologists classify Virat Kohli as the prime example.

Inheritance of Acquired Characters: Basically what Lamarck meant is that no amount of blood transfusion can help it. At the end of the day, a Casanova begets Casanova and a Gandhi, pre-abstinence that is, begets Gandhi.

So it was hardly a wonder that Shaun Marsh would follow in his father's footsteps and choose India for his maiden ODI ton.

Theory of Needs: At the outset, I would like to clarify that I take no responsibility for the following even though Lamarck does. Apparently, giraffes grew long necks because their forefathers were sick and tired of the staple grass-and-bush diet and craved for the leafy delicacies of the tall trees.

A bare batting cupboard and the same theory of needs forced Ricky Ponting to open the innings in Delhi.

Theory of Use and Disuse: Apparently, early snakes, unlike their present day descendants, were LBW candidates in a Mammals XI vs Reptiles XI tie because they had legs! That is what Lamarck said and once again I take him at face value. He knew them enough to claim that snakes lost legs because they didn't use them enough. Basically he wanted to mean that snakes put their feet up all the time till it eventually came off.

Harbhajan Singh may resent the simile but Chris Broad's presence has forced him to shelve his Doosra and we may not see him bowling that again.