Ind-Aus series in light of Evolution Theories!

Survival of the Fittest: Not sure if Darwin wanted us to barge into the nearest gym with vengeance. But when you realize that only 8 of Australia’s original 15-member squad survived the 7–ODI rigour, you know Darwin was not driveling;

Natural Selection: Darwin propounded some individuals survive more than their jealous peers for no particular reason. Cricket anthropologists classify Virat Kohli as the prime example.

Inheritance of Acquired Characters: Basically what Lamarck meant is that no amount of blood transfusion can help it. At the end of the day, a Casanova begets Casanova and a Gandhi, pre-abstinence that is, begets Gandhi.

So it was hardly a wonder that Shaun Marsh would follow in his father's footsteps and choose India for his maiden ODI ton.

Theory of Needs: At the outset, I would like to clarify that I take no responsibility for the following even though Lamarck does. Apparently, giraffes grew long necks because their forefathers were sick and tired of the staple grass-and-bush diet and craved for the leafy delicacies of the tall trees.

A bare batting cupboard and the same theory of needs forced Ricky Ponting to open the innings in Delhi.

Theory of Use and Disuse: Apparently, early snakes, unlike their present day descendants, were LBW candidates in a Mammals XI vs Reptiles XI tie because they had legs! That is what Lamarck said and once again I take him at face value. He knew them enough to claim that snakes lost legs because they didn't use them enough. Basically he wanted to mean that snakes put their feet up all the time till it eventually came off.

Harbhajan Singh may resent the simile but Chris Broad's presence has forced him to shelve his Doosra and we may not see him bowling that again.

Cricket’s immortal Mammals, Aves and Pisces XI

Australian media recently anointed chief selector Andrew Hilditch as cricket’s resident Loch Ness Monster. Reason? Hilditch preferred a beach stroll with his pet dog in Adelaide when Hayden was battling for his career in Sydney. After all, determining Haydo’s future was supposed to be the most important decision of his stint!

As the media pilloried Hilditch, I can see his pet dog acquiring a cult status, apart from a bragging right, in that part of the globe after its picture splashed all over Oz media.

This was precisely the provocation behind drawing up a unique Mammals, Aves and Pisces XI that assumed cricketing immortality over the years.


(Pix: Michael Marschall)

1. Andrew Hilditch’s pet dog: Outgrew former Oz top dog Hayden in stature.

2. The dog that left Hayden with gashed ankle in 2006: The canine attack happened when Hayden was jogging. For record, vets call it Pica, an appetite among the dogs for chewing non-nutritive substance.

3. The Bumble-Frisker of Mohali: The Punjab Police sniffer dog that inspected David ‘Bumble’ Lloyd’s backside in full public view during the India-England Test there last month. Witnesses include yours truly.

4. Clarrie Grimmet’s fox terrier: Played its part in developing 'flipper'. Grimmet would bowl for hours trying to perfect the occult art and the little creature would retrieve the ball. ICC is yet to recognize its contribution.


(Pix)

5. The stuffed sparrow at MCC Museum: In 1936, Jahangir Khan, playing for Cambridge University against MCC, sent down a delivery that hit a sparrow, which fell dead and headed for cricket folklore. The flight of the ball and the bird intercepted somewhere resulting in the mishap, even though Jahangir was a medium pacer and not a spinner.


(Pix: BBC)

6. Double Pigeon Martyrs of Oval: Paul Reiffel and Ajay Jadeja had blood on their hand in that match. Reiffel’s direct throw claimed a pigeon while Jadeja cut a delivery to third man to complete the double during the India-Australia match of the 1999 World Cup.


(Pix: BBC)

7. Guy the Gorilla: Ian Botham earned his nickname from this celebrity resident of the London Zoo in the 1960s-70s.

8. Kapil’s Buffalo: His father bought the buffalo so that Kapil could guzzle gallons of milk and grow strong. No wonder some of his sixes used to vanish in the milky way.


(Pix: Symonds' official website)

9. Fishes that Andrew Symonds caught: Salmon, trout...

10. Cockroaches Chris Broad spotted in Mohali: These little creatures went to find mention in the ICC Match Referee’s report after Broad noticed them in the umpires’ food trolley during the India-Australia Test match in Mohali last year.

11. Bhajji’s monkey: well, this one quite spooky. A ghost like inconclusive thing, with two rival sides frothing at the mouth trying to establish and dismiss its presence in the cantankerous Sydney Test.