Warne retires

Hold on, this is not an older post. Shane Warne, the champion text-star who also happens to be a spin legend, has quit first class cricket. The Hampshire captain, who would captain and coach Rajasthan Royals in the Indian Premier League (IPL) has snapped his ties with Hampshire.

Dimitri Mascarenhas will take over as the new Hampshire captain.

Meanwhile, with Warne quitting cricket – come on IPL is after all just another romp for him – Doosra finds it an ethical duty to issue an advisory.

Doosra fears now that Warne is through with cricket, there is an urgent need for the British nurses, especially the plump ones, to keep their cell numbers frequently changing in order to avoid getting lewd SMS from a certain number.

Enough time at his disposal, Warne is expected to make the optimum use of his mobile phones and his daily SMS output, it is feared, far exceeds his wicket tally. The leggie with a liking for leggies is expected to hit back with a vengeance, especially after every effort to forge a new partnership with former wife Simone fell flat on its face.

For someone who considered text and Test equally important, Warne is simply irrepressible and young British women would ignore this advisory at their peril. God save them.

Cartoon: Peter Nicholson of The Australian (Instead of Warne's right arm, it could have been his mobile phone as well)

Warne denies dating Jemima Khan

Shane “Incorrigible” Warne insists he is not dating Jemima Khan. They are “just friends” he asserts and we should not have problem with that. For those blessed with celebrity amnesia, Jemima is the ex-wife of former Pakistan captain Imran Khan who was, and is, twice her age. Lately, she was dating Hugh Grant, or vice versa.

Even if it was true, it would have been quite natural on Warne’s part. The spin star’s marriage has hit the rocks for the second time – no mean feat, thanks to his misfired text that was meant for his lover but eventually landed in wife Simone’s cell!

And according to a magazine, the text was actually meant for Jemima!

"Hey beautiful, I'm just talking to my kids, the back door's open," read Warne’s message.

Simone’s reply was "You loser, you sent the message to the wrong person."

The classic goof-up helped Simone to come out of her illusion that they can still pick up the pieces of the wreckage of a marriage and put them together.

And if it’s true, it’s good to see Warne looking beyond British nurse, while for Jemima, well, old habits die hard.

Image: Getty Images