Wednesday, 25 April 2007

Tongue-in-Cheek and Foot-in-Mouth

(Usual suspect: McGrath exchanging pleasantries with Sarwan)

.....You don't want people saying to your kids, 'Your father is a bastard': Glenn McGrath

For some, sanity prevails late, but it does prevail in the end. Anyway, better late than never. Glenn McGrath suddenly woke up to a reality and says he does not want the world to remember him as a sledger.

This is what Pigoen said at the fag end of his career:

"You don't want people saying to your kids, 'Your father is a bastard'. I'm playing cricket because I love it, and if I'm out there getting angry all the time that's not what it's about. The times when I did blow up I used to regret it afterwards …"

Surprisingly, a sickly tribe still insists sledging is more a problem with the sub-continent countries which often fail to realise the culturtal difference and try to blow it out of proportion. Hopefully Pigeon’s admission would help them regain sanity.

Incidentally, McGrath is not the lone Aussie larrikin, Justin Langer too is disturbed by the menace.

"I don't believe in it (sledging) and it is something that has disturbed me over the years, particularly when Glenn McGrath and Ramnaresh Sarwan were involved in an ugly incident in 2003."

Punter, howeber, does not buy Pigeon’s theory. On the contrary, Ricky Ponting in fact ridiculed Langer's No Sledge Pledge.

"There must be two Justin Langers in the world I think. I don't know what's happened there. But I know the little fella was never too far away from it if something was going on."

Anyway, we take this opportunity to recall some of the sideshows that went along the cricket matches. Here goes some choicest expletives…A Perfect 10 for you.

1. Glenn McGrath v Eddo Brandes:

Pigeon was bowling to the Zimbabwe number 11 and Brandes’s bat was nowhere near the ball. A frustrated McGrath yelled "Why are you so fat?" Not to be outdone, Brandes replied,"Because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit."

2. Viv Richards vs Greg Thomas:

Thomas, the Glamorgan pacer, thought he had won the battle after beating King Richards’ bat a couple of times. "It's red, round and weighs about five ounces, in case you were wondering," was his words to the batsman. The next ball duely disappeared over the ropes and Richards replied “Greg, you know what it looks like. Now go and find it."

3. Merv Hughes vs Robin Smith:

This one followed the same script. The Big Bad Hughes had beaten Smith a couple of times in the 1989 Lord's Test before giving him a piece of his mind. "You can't f***ing bat, mate."

Smith hit the next one for a four and shared his thought. "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f***ing bat and you can't f***ing bowl."

4. Rod Marsh vs Ian Botham:

Beefy had just taken guard in the Ashes match when Iron Gloves greeted him saying: "So how's your wife and my kids?"

5. Daryll Cullinan vs Shane Warne:

Warne was licking lips in anticipation when Cullinan, his bunny, was taking guard. Warnie in fact could not resist but inform the Protea that he had been waiting two years for another chance to humiliate him. Cullinan decided he had to won this war. "Looks like you spent it eating" he retorted.

6. Adam Parore vs Daryll Cullinan (my favourite):

Cullinan – having already earned the reputation as Warne's bunny by then – carefully prodded a Chris Harris delivery in the match against New Zealand when Parore yelled "Bowled Warnie!".

7. James Ormond vs Mark Waugh:

Ormond was not particularly impressed during the Ashes tour when Mark Waugh greeted him with these words... "**** me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here? There's no way you're god enough to play for England". Undaunted, Ormond replied: "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best cricketer in my family".

8. Ravi Shastri vs an Aussie 12th man:

Ah, an Indian at last. Ravi Shastri hit one to the fielder and was looking for a single. "If you leave the crease I'll break your ****ing head", the fielder said. Pat came Shastri’s reply, “If you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the ****ing 12th man".

9. Malcolm Marshall vs David Boon:

An Australian outsledged! A Marshall in his pomp had Boon in all sort of trouble. Finally the pace legend went forward with a proposal: "Now David, are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"

10. Glen McGrath vs Ramnaresh Sarwan:

Ok, I don’t want my blog to run into trouble. You find it on the net for yourself. Sorry for the inconvenience.

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