Saturday, 31 October 2009

Doosra live from Kotla

Welcome to WNWSACWR. What Neo Won't Show And Cricinfo Won't Report, for the uninitiated.

2210: Dhoni and Henriques try to run through each other and come crashing down. Both believe the other guy goofed up the mantra.

2150: Had they been in the press box, a handful of Australian cricketers would either have contemplated homicide or quit the game altogether hearing the way their names were being molested by the official scorer. See if you know Dog Bolllinger, Adam Bhaujee, Peter Seed Le, and Nathan Harish.

2130: Yuvraj hits Henriques for an effortless six. It looked a fullish delivery but replays showed it was a foolish delivery.

2115: Dhoni changes gloves and Doug Bollinger uses the time to rub the ball furiously against his thigh. Doosra has raised it in the past also that ICC should do something for dermatosis among players.

1930: Sorry for the prolonged delay. Had other fishes to fry. BTW, the Tata Stand, from where Johnson is trying to decapitate Dhoni, has Hema Malini selling purified water on one side and Tendulkar peddling cement on the other. It gets too boring, so here goes a PJ, the copyright of which belongs strictly to Doosra. Q. Which place in India is named after Hema Malini's brother? Ans. Dharamshala. (More PJs if Dhoni and Yuvraj don't end the boredom.)

1645: Ponting just raised the bar in self-abuse after his dismissal and you don't need lip-readers to tell you that he capped the line with the most popular four words in the history of human civilisation. In fact he was so loud that the thunder could be heard in Tasmania, if they strain their ears a little.

1555: Gambhir literally has a pain in the neck, just copped a Ponting pull. Shame on you Punter. Be a man, play fair and square.

1545: Babes with bottles enter the field with Foster's refreshment. Foster daughters indeed, one would assume. You don't send out your own daughter in such sartorial scantiness.

1445: Surprise! Surprise! Ponting opens with Watson. But then for someone who has uncorked zillion bubblies in his pomp, opening comes spontaneously.

1428: Both teams observe a minute's silence in David Shepherd's memory. You kind of agree, this is how Harbahjan looks best, lips sealed.

1425: Who says Ind-Pak cricket ties have been knotted, I mean snapped? Before the Men in Blue and Canary Yellow walk out, the ground has been invaded by the Men in Green. Alas, they turn out to be mere groundsmen. The same bunch of souls who top Ponting's hit/hate-list for watering the practice pitch yesterday.

9 comments:

straight point said...

i disagree som... these days bhajji will look best with his both hands tied down... specially when bowling...

Som said...

SP, that can't be done at the moment. Wait a bit.

Leela said...

Som,

Someone once insinuated that I plagarize (!!!); so just wanted to let you know I used the phrase "effortless six" without reading your blog first!
(I am sure a lot of ppl would've thought the same... but u know how accusers are!)
:-)

Agree abt Bhajji and silence.

Naked Cricket said...

Dharamsala indeed.

Som said...

Leela, we are on the same wavelength. BTW, when smoeone accuses you of plagiarism, it means you must have done something right. For the accusers, well, let them be eaten by bears.

Som said...

NC, was bored to death at that stage and was difficult to keep going:)

Purna said...

This is gold. I am jealous that I don't get to watch matches live.

Som said...

Purna, now I'm jealous that I don't get to watch matches from home and instead, have to file copies and look out if some player is upto certain tricks when I should be enjoying the match. Grass is always greener...:)

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