Move over Colonel's Kebabz. Here comes KP kebabs!
As an afterthought, I never suspected Dilip Vengsarkar of actually running kebab joints since I was rather under the impression that 'Colonel' had other fishes to fry at Mumbai Cricket Association.
Anyway, ignore the allusion and return to the protagonist of the piece.
You are the alpha bat but rendered hors de combat.
Your teammates do the unthinkable without you. They shot a poisoned arrow into Ricky Ponting's Achilles heel while you are left to nurse your own.
So what do you do? You swap the bat for skewer and make kebabs for Indian fans in a London club!
With no Onions, of the Graham variety, in the vicinity, the salad was bound to be as much a let-down as a Ravi Bopara or a Monty Panesar.
And it's not known either if they served T20 – as dessert is called in Tendulkar parlance -- in dinner.
What is known, to Doosra that is, is finally when the party had dispersed, KP removed the grill, collected the Ashes, filled the urn he had bought and pocketed the stuff with characteristic cockiness.
So now you know who has more Ashes under the belt, both figuratively and factually, among the Three Lions.
For the Strauss & Co and their vainglory, replace the Don Pedros, Benedicks and Claudios with Cook, Bell, Trott and similar monosyllables and you have, by and large, Much Ado About Nothing II.
Pix: Daily Mail