Now we don't know what Imran Khan had in mind when he uttered these potentially fatwa-inviting words.
Certainly not the interest of Pakistan cricket.
Positively not the interest of Pakistan.
Decidedly not the interest of cricket itself either.
While Shoaib has been a journalist's delight – and many would confide in their vulnerable moments that they owe most of their promotions to the Rawalpindi Rogue – he has not really been the same for Pakistan cricket.
You are assured of your column inches in the headlines alright. But not that you can show those clippings to your wide-eyed grandchildren at the twilight of your life and boast.
Rather, you want to burn them in the backyard, bury the ash and still fear that they may prove as irrepressible as the man himself and resurface!
Doosra ventured to see how the news was greeted in the Pakistan camp and can reveal that the mere mention of Shoaib's name has caused considerable consternation there.
Well, Younus Khan & Co are not exactly cowering behind piled sandbags but it would be an understatement to say that it has sapped them of all the merriness.
So much so that Kamran Akmal was vehemently arguing with Shahid Afridi that it was just his toothy aspect and he was not necessarily smiling.
Younus was spotted shaking his head in disbelief and murmuring "If not anything else, his mere presence is enough to spoil the accent of the players."
Asif has been the most cheerful of the lot since the Champions Trophy recall resuscitated his moribund career. So much so that he was seen smiling patronizingly at a pariah dog even when his teammates were trying to shoo away the creature which had strayed into the nets.
But he looked a different man as Younus cast his sight on him, pale to the gills.
"He bruised my left thigh in 2007 and I can't risk the right now. I'll be available in the rival dressing room. Just give me a call whenever you need me," Asif withdrew, almost in a trance.
Turning back, Younus saw the glum logistic manager approaching him.
"I don't think I'll continue the job. Before boarding flight, he puts all sorts of needles and pills in my luggage and it's embarrassing when security guys asks you all those questions," he said.
The grief-stricken media manager also wanted Younis' shoulder to cry on.
"I have to write those embarrassing details of things like genital infections and rashes and read it aloud to giggling reporters and chuckling cameramen once again. I can't go through it again," he retired.