Apparently, we have seen the last of KKR in IPL III.
Ganguly’s rare athleticism, Gayle’s blings and shades, McCullum’s tattoos, Shah Rukh Khan’s soppy tweets, Juhi Chawla’s smiles that actually met at the back of her head, the foulness of the jersey's colour scheme…nothing could bring home the bacon.
But not everything is lost yet. Miracles do happen, although not as frequently as Lalit Modi’s Twitters.
With a pinch of enterprise and bit of luck, KKR can STILL win IPL III and here is how.
1. First the cinch. SRK unleashes a charm offensive and convinces Herr Lalit Modi to pluck Ramalinga Raju out of Chanchalguda jail and entrust him with the number-punching job.
It would take some persuasion indeed but once achieved, the only job left would be to put the bubbly on ice for an April 25 uncorking. Golly!
2. SRK gets Fuhrer Modi to tweak the rules and decide that the title would go to the team owner with most Tweets against his name. And no prize for guessing that SRK wins hands down here. Yippee!
Of his rivals, Nita Ambani apparently reckons Twitter is another oil company owned by her husband and you can’t blame her for that. Among others, Preity Zinta suspects Twitter is a sequel to ‘Twister’, Vijay Mallya is cocksure it’s an F1 videogame while Shilpa Shetty believes it’s a reality show and is in fact planning to sue the racist producer for leaving her out.
3. SRK seeks divine intervention and the script goes along these lines. Ganguly and gang are, as his wont, late in arriving for the prize giving ceremony at DY Patil Stadium and a devastating earthquake gobbles up other seven teams.
Deals have been signed and TV rights have been peddled. So Monsieur Modi sees no other option but to handover the title to the lone survivors KKR, who go home praising Ganguly’s vision. Whoopee!
4. IPL turns out to be actually a Karan Johar movie in which SRK looks utterly unconvincing and sensationally silly all along but still ends up on the winning side in the end.