You just cannot be about what is largely an assortment of outrageous lies that suggests our forefathers had their tail between their legs and it's not metaphorically speaking.
It further claims till date, we are carrying a defunct remnant of that embarrassment tucked somewhere down our spine!
Elsewhere, they want you to believe that in another era, snakes shook a leg, pigs could fly and fishes used bicycles to commute.
Utter nonsense. Childhood would be better off without those ghastly lies.
A little more plausible was the chapter on dinosaurs. How they went about the place throwing their weight around – even their infants weighed more than a full-fledged Inzamam-ul-Haq -- and flexing muscles as if it was their parental property.
And then one fine morning, the giant lizards simply dropped off the face of the earth.
It turned out the colossal fatheads were too busy munching junk and bullying others to evolve and had to make a hasty exit.
Moral of the story – evolve or exit.
Gautam Gambhir burst into the scene as a brash southpaw, devoid of the natural grace of a Gower or Lara, and with a penchant for wrecking bowling figures and picking fights with oversize opponents.
One leisurely noon, he turned the pages of the Life Science book and stopped on the chapter on dinosaurs.
Now he can perform solo, play second fiddle, go ballistic, stay anchored, open the floodgates, finish a match...
Moral of the story – Gambhir is no dinosaur.
P.S. Kafka is reportedly itching in his Prague grave to write a sequel to 'The Metamorphosis', replacing the salesman with a cricketer this time.