1. Uninvited Ashes flops, of Australian variety and twittering tendency, pop up for free lunch and free tuition;
2. You have to listen to your garrulous bats;
3. You are asked to recall the Hypocritic...err...Hippocratic Oath and check the pulse of Test and ODI, lying on deathbed side-by-side, before suggesting remedies;
4. You have to reveal something as intimate as your DNA profile for a foul 30 kg coffee table book;
5. You have a fight to fight with no less than AK Anthony and his defence ministry over a Mussoorie bungalow;
6. You have a duty to inspire not only budding cricketers but also actors of cricket movies. e.g. Shreyas Talpade;
7. Vinod Kambli has quit international cricket only, not reality shows.