Wednesday, 22 April 2009

7 reasons why Bangalore Royal Challengers won’t win IPL II


1. Spirit is volatile and it doesn’t last the whole nine yards;

2. Vijay Mallya has got the right men but in wrong places. For instance, Adrian Sutil spins more than Anil Kumble, while Rahul Dravid drives better than Giancarlo Fisichella;

3. You don’t open a cola bottle with Praveen Kumar but BRC can open their batting with him!

4. Ray Jennings has complained to Mallya that Jesse Ryder has not attended a single net session and is often spotted flirting with a particular Mischief Gal;

5. BRC looked a Test team in IPL I and resembles an ODI outfit in IPL II. In other words, the T20 metamorphosis is still some distance away;

6. Virat Kohli has an ego problem with spinning balls;

7. Business magnates have a penchant for bouncing cricketers’ WAGs on their knees – medics call it Stanford Syndrome -- and that explains the hurry of the BRC players to return to the pavilion.

18 comments:

Ankit Poddar said...

thanks som,
now i know why BRC won't win IPL II ;)

Amy said...

Jesse Ryder? Flirting?

Som said...

Ankit, I guess everyone knew they won't win. I knew the precise reasons:)

Som said...

Amy, you think there is some problem with Jesse! Outrageous!

straight point said...

they were smart enough for not bringing wags in first place...

i wonder the hurry is for getting hand on mallya's 'collection'... ;-))

Som said...

SP, now that's why Mallya built a Test squad, so that they hang on in the middle and don't return early!

Amy said...

Not at all, Jesse's a sexy man. It's the drinking and non-existent neck that do it. And those bandanas...

Som said...

Amy, to be honest, I sort of liked his bandanas:)

achettup said...

2 is brilliant. I haven't checked any of the other websites, but I know the BRC have a dedicated section to their cheerleaders. I even think I spotted KP with the pom poms.
Mallya is such a witty guy what with "Royal Challengers" and "White Mischief" girls... pretty smart too trading Zaheer for Uthappa.

Som said...

Achettup, I thought Mallya exhausted half the money behind those Pom Poms:)

Q said...

What I need from you is a list of 7 people who could be Fake IPL Player and why...

Unless its you ofcourse ;-)

Som said...

Q, I don't doubt the fakeness of the 'Fake IPL Player'. He can't be a player and I didn't find any scoop either. Too few information, seems cooked up. And he got couple of major scoops terribly wrong. I can vouch that this guy is a Bengali (me too!) but I can assure you that none of the KKR player, Bengali or not, is so literally endowed, not even Aakash Chopra. I'm getting big J of the blogger:) But all in all, interesting stuff, even if not intriguing:)

Q said...

But a post is still in order Som.

scorpicity said...

Jesse? Maybe that's why he gets bowled... Must be weak kneed now.

Som said...

Q, recovering from KKR-RR Super Over fever. I guess you have to wait:)

Som said...

Scorpi, weak=kneed or not can't say, but has an obvious weakness for sure.

Sehwag said...

You might have email this reasons to Mallaiya. He might have give you a chance as manager in the IPL 3

Som said...

Welcome Sehwag and keep coming:)
And hey, I won't do worse as BRC manager!