Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Revealed: English selectors can’t think out of the boxers!


As if we needed evidence, England selectors proved they can’t think out of the box and boxers as well. Considering Claire Taylor's rich vein of success vis-à-vis the men team's vulgar World Cup record, they actually needed her most in the other T20 side and here's why:

1. She is more masculine than say, Stuart Broad;

2. Her T20 strike rate is better than Ian Bell’s;

3. She is fitter than Samit Patel, keeps better than Matt ‘Mint-With-the-Hole’ Prior and doesn’t get homesick like Steve Harmison;

4. When you can deal with players from Essex, Sussex, even Middlesex and Godknowswhatsex, why can't accommodate the opposite sex?

5. When and if Alastair Cook returns to the side, he can borrow Taylor’s mascara;

6. Claire has studied maths at Oxford which would not only come handy during the Duckworth-Lewis mumbo-jumbo but also can be a safeguard against John Dyson’s calculia if Dyson takes over as England coach; and finally

7. Unlike Pietersen the Peacock, she won’t seek leave midway through a tournament to see her spouse dance on telly;
Pix: Getty Images

15 comments:

Kartikey said...

Ha..Ha... well said Som.

I am in favour of women playing in men's cricket. Women's cricket in any case, does not get much coverage.
Imagine the scorecard:

P.Saxom: Seduced and bowled by D.Sally

Som said...

Kartikey, seduced! You are inventing a new way of getting a batter out! I fear post-dismissal celebration might get a little more animated. What say?

Satrajit said...

I wonder how guys like Shane Warne or Yuvraj Singh would have performed against female counterparts.

Godknowswhatsex part was Hilarious Som.

Naked Cricket said...

Didn't think i'd laugh today.

Soulberry said...

Excellent post! In splits...

Som said...

Satrajit, only a plump British nurse would have excited Warne and you could expect Yuvraj to curb his natural attacking style and concentrate more on occupying the crease in such a case.

Som said...

NC, today is only Mahavir Jayanti or is it World Anti-Laughing Day? :)

Som said...

Soulberry, got my toil's worth.

vmminerva said...

Amazing man!

Seriously, it wouldn't be too much of a bad idea to have mixed tournaments - like mixed doubles in tennis. But this should start at the neighbourhood level. Girls with bats were always made fun of.

Som said...

VM, we only need to tip off the ICC Technical commitee, they would simply lap it up!

straight point said...

8. women having 'balls' wont be limited to the description of fun only...

Som said...

SP, that is clearly below the belt! oops!

Ankit Poddar said...

Som,

Claire also seems more determined to take her team through crisis, and not leaving it when the team starts losing!

and yeah, SP's joke may just be above the belt! ;))

Cheers!

Som said...

Ankit, got it:)

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