Baba Ramdev is buying an IPL franchise and that’s the precise reason he met ICC boss Sharad Pawar.
Don’t trust the chumps in mainstream media. They got it completely wrong, misled probably by the fact that Pawar, in between ICC meetings, also happens to be the agriculture minister.
Unlike Nitin Gadkari, Pawar didn’t touch Ramdev’s feet. It was a shrewd opening move by the Marathi strongman that forced Baba into an immediate introspection.
"Do I really have stinking feet?” Ramdev would occasionally mumble throughout the meeting.
For some strange reason, Gadkari derived such a superiority complex out of it that the BJP chief was sighted running around his Nagpur residence screaming “Pawar can’t bend! I’m fitter than Pawar”.
Well, below is the excerpt of what transpired between Pawar and Ramdev:
Pawar: Welcome Ramdev ji. Hey! What’s that? Don’t wink at the maid!
Ramdev: Sorry, Pawar ji. Don’t get me wrong. This is something I can’t help. Completely unintentional you know.
Pawar: Whatever. You don’t know how tough it’s these days to get another maid. Anyway, how come you are here?
Ramdev: Pawar ji, I want to buy an IPL team.
Pawar: But I’m not sure they want another franchise.
Ramdev: Pawar ji, there’s nothing you can’t do. I have even decided the name of my team.
Pawar: And what’s that?
Ramdev: Patanjali Panthers! Awesome, isn’t it? Of course ToI may still call it Team Haridwar. I have already identified players for my team.
Pawar: And they are?
Ramdev: Well, Hashim Amla has to be the captain and Mohd Yusuf his deputy. See, I want it to be a team of bearded players. By the way, is WG Grace available?
Pawar: But are there enough bearded players?
Ramdev: If not, we’d identify local talents and groom them. Their beard to be precise. Jawed Habib will join the support staff soon. In fact, I’m thinking of having beard-linked bonus clause in their contract.
Pawar: But Ramdev ji, IPL is sports and entertainment. It’s like showbusiness with cheerleaders etc. Are you fine with it?
Ramdev: You hurt me Pawar ji. What do you think of me? We too would have cheerleaders.
Pawar: Oh, really?
Ramdev: Of course! We’d slightly tweak the concept and have cheerleader bhaiyyas, wearing borrowed salwar kameez.
Pawar: Oh yes. I should have imagined it.
Ramdev: After every boundary hit by our players, cheerleader bhaiyyas would do Kapalbhati while every dismissal of the rival batsmen would trigger mass anulom-vilom!
Pawar: Good lord! But to be honest Ramdev ji, I’ve washed my hands of cricket and you better get in touch with IPL guys.
Ramdev: I know you have but I also know there’s nothing you can’t do.
Pawar: Ok, I’ll help you. But what we tell the reporters now?
Ramdev: Don’t worry Pawar ji. I’ll repeat that black-money thing. And we’d hug each other before the camera. Done?
Pawar: (Reluctantly) I guess I have to. Why don’t you wax your chest? Ok, ok, stop anuloming-viloming. Was just kidding. Let's go and meet the press.