Monday, 2 February 2009

7 lucky charms that can revive Oz fortune


I feared earth will come to a screeching halt on its axis, Paris Hilton will be either canonised or cannon-foddered and Harbhajan Singh would spend an entire season without slapping teammates/abusing opponents/ruffling BCCI lawyers.

But miracles do happen and somehow we all survived despite Australia no more being the numero uno ODI side.

More than anything else, Doosra tends to believe that Punter & Party have been done in by poor luck on more than one occasion and suggests, free of cost, seven lucky charms the Ozzies need to bring the stars back on their side:

1. Beckham’s Goldenbuns: A strange pre-derby ritual takes place at AC Milan these days where teammates squeeze David Beckham’s buns, for it guarantees win! Beckham meanwhile goes down in soccer history as the lone footballer whose legs were not his most valuable physical asset.

2. Shammi Kapoor: Cricket Australia need to make a music album for each tournament and get it released by Shammi Kapur. Come on, it doesn’t cost them a fortune for they already have a crooner in Brett Lee. This ritual has worked wonders for Aamir Khan over the years and no reason why Australia won’t benefit from it.

3. James Carville’s underwear: History remembers Carville – the spin doctor who masterminded Bill Clinton’s successful 1992 presidential campaign. -- didn’t change it for an extended period to ensure success. Ricky Ponting can surely borrow the talismanic piece of cloth from Carville and walk out for toss.

4. Roy Emerson’s shorts: If borrowing/exporting underwear, that too a used one, doesn’t exactly appeal them, there is a ‘shorts-cut’ way and they don’t need to travel all the way to USA either. Aussie tennis legend Roy Emerson used to wear a pair of lucky shorts to extend his winning streak. Why doesn’t Cricket Australia borrow it from ‘Emmo’ and make replicas and dole out?

5. Steve Waugh’s red hanky: The source of the legendary red rag obduracy. Chances are high 'Tugga' threw away the soiled piece of cloth and a neighbourhood Kangaroo chewed it up. Still what’s harm in making a query?

6. Red Shirt on Sundays: No need to get shirty at the suggestion. Ever cared to know secrets of Tiger Woods’ success?

7. Obama’s Trinkets: CA should use the diplomatic channel and ask PM Kevin Rudd to convince Barack Obama to part with his trinkets. (Statutory Warning: The trinkets include idol of a monkey god and hence all precautions should be taken before handing it over to Andrew Symonds.)

Pix: eclectech.co.uk

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL on the Andrew Symonds and the monkey spoof. BTW Symmo is getting rid of his locks, may be, to prove luckt this time

straight point said...

:)

...or 'rest' ponting...as they have done now...it may turn out to be their biggest lucky charm...

Som said...

Anonymous. Symo needs to get rid of his tantrums. Nothing less, not even those dreadlocks, would do.

Som said...

SP, for Oz, every match is a gamble and you don't gtamble with Punter. Anyway, it's not going to have any effect on the outcome of the next match. In fact, whatever the Aussies do would have no effect on the outcome. Their self-destructive streak, and not Australia, is New Zealand's opponent in this series.

voyage said...

or they should bring Sourav Ganguly on board and ask him to give away his multi-religious lockets and give them a crash course on 'how to incorporate changes in lifestyle to get lucky' (ofcourse they won't be too encouraged looking at Ganguly's outcome)....they can also meet Zoya Akhtar and the entire cast of 'Luck by chance' to figure out things....

Megha said...

OR...they could try and play cricket by its rules for a change...works for the rest of us ;-)

Abdul said...

http://content-uk.cricinfo.com/iclarchive/content/story/388715.html

The link above provides reliable evidence that the ICL players have been groomed and permitted to represent their domestic teams in the climax stages of Pakistan's premier domestic competition. Although the ICC still haven’t changed their stance on the inaugural league I am convinced that if they perform in domestic matches the pressure will be on the PCB and the players will be able to have a safe return to international cricket.

Meanwhile we have an exciting summer of cricket on our hands with IPL/T20 world cup and the ultimate test series of the Ashes to look forward to. I find it ridiculous about the actual length and duration of the IPL and even more so the fact that the T20 drama immediately follows straight after in England. All I can say is brainless planning which will make cricket less intriguing and worthwhile from a player’s and fans perspective. One can also question if player burnouts will come into play ?

Pakistan has also wiped out the participation of their players in the IPL due to the current falter in the relation with neighbours India. On the one hand this is a missed golden opportunity for the Pakistani cricketers on which I’m sure they’ll express disappointment. But on the other hand this time could be spent wisely on preparing and setting up various camps in preparation for international drama in June. Or perhaps they could adapt to the different conditions and apply themselves in the county set up and put their names forward for selection. In my opinion this T20 world cup will be the most important event in this eventful international calendar.

So summing up. Hats off to the Sind high court for grooving back the ICL kilari in the domestic scene. Also plenty of excitement to look forward to in the cricketing world. Let the drama commence.............

Som said...

Voyage, welcome on board Doosra. Luck By Chance? Not for the Aussies at least.

Som said...

Megha, no chance. I think that was Haddin's own way of paying tribute to the 28th anniversary of Trevor Chappell's under-arm bowling. The tradition continues.

Som said...

Abdul. let the drama commence. Do you think people in Pakistan would watch IPL sans Pakistani players?

Soulberry said...

Shammi Kapoor could turn a dud into a winner. yup that's a huge good luck charm for sure.

Som said...

Soulberry, you reckon Shammi Yahoo Kapur would be ready to relocate?

pseudo intellectual said...

poor aussies. one never thought they'd be spoofed :P
and lol@the last suggestion!

Abdul said...

I’m here in the bitter cold of England which has led to an economic slump and global amusement. Also did u guys know that commentator and English legend Ian Botham was unable to catch his flight due to the adverse weather conditions!

I’m in my living room watching cricket from a much more humid location of the Caribbean. The first session belongs to Westindies and already we are seeing signs of spin at lunch on the first day. Have England misread conditions and a golden opportunity of playing 2 spinners? This description from the home of cricket provides u with an insight of one of the deliveries bowled by tall Suleiman Benn :

26.4 Benn to Pietersen, no run, beaten! What a cracker. Spin has played an unexpectedly key part in this morning's session - beaten by a corking, spinning, jaffa of a delivery

Well after that flaming description I think they may have missed the trick of not utilising a second spinner as I recommended previously.

Som said...

Titli, on the contrary, Aussie-bashing is the ultimate joy in cricket for mean souls like us.

Som said...

Abdul, sure Botham missed flight for no other reason?

Abdul said...

My technical observations of Suleiman Benn are as follows :

1) He has a repeatable bowling action which enables him to maintain accuracy and bowl marathon spells.
2) He can produce the “jaffa” with that fizzing off break which drifts in with lovely revs and then suddenly spins viciously past the bat. Not to exaggerate but some of those deliveries were Shane Warne in the making!
3) His varieties of variations make him unpredictable and his arm ball is certainly well disguised.

On an overall note Westindies seem to be producing many quality spinners now. Chris Gayle is now bowling more frequently and in the warm up matches the A and domestic sides seemed to have some wrist spinners up their sleeves which troubled the English batsmen. This is an exciting time for the team and indeed the start of a new era.

This pitch is a cracker of one as it produces exciting test cricket which is a pleasure to experience from the naked eye.
With England at 300-8 at lunch it’s fair to call proceedings standing as honours even.

Following this performance from the left arm spinner the expectations which really be mounting on the shoulders of Monty Panesar. Will he deliver like he has so awesomely at Old Trafford or will he bowl like he did in India? No pressure as I wonder if he’s benefited from Mushy’s expertise and presence in the background especially with Rashid and Swann waiting in the wings.