Friday, 23 January 2009

Dyscalculia hits cricket!


ICC surely can't afford to bury its head into the Dubai desert. An unprecedented outbreak of Dyscalculia has already hit Australia and England and unless drastic steps are taken, it might reach Matthew Hayden's Third World as well!

For the uninitiated, Dyscalculia implies mathematical reasoning difficulties as well as troubles with arithmetic operations.

If I always felt cricket is the last resort of the mathematically retarded, I simply have no reason to believe otherwise.

Sample these:

1. Doug Bollinger (Aus): "If I happen to play I'll put in 150,000 percent."

# Observation:
Acute case of Dyscalculia, beyond treatment.

2. Andrew Strauss (Eng): "I have no doubt that he (Pietersen) will go to the West Indies and get millions of runs."

# Observation:
Considering that the Poms will play 4 Tests and 5 ODIs in the West Indies, medics believe though it has reached alarming stage in Strauss' case, all hopes are not lost yet. Sustained therapy might help him come out of it. Frankly speaking, England captaincy has done worse to others.

3. Graeme Swann: "I'm convinced he's (Pietersen) going to score thousands (of runs) on this (West Indies) trip."

# Observation:
Early symptoms, fair chance of recovery. Treatment should start at once. One more thing. Swann clearly does not hold KP in as high esteem as Strauss does. Note how millions became thousands.

P.S. Talking about Dyscalculia, this one from Yogi Berra is my all-time favourite: "Baseball is 90 percent mental, the other half is physical." Alas, cricket is yet to get its Yogi Berra. And for God’s sake, Sidhuism is no match to Yogiism. Once asked why he no longer visited a popular restaurant, the Yankees legend said "Nobody goes there no more; it's too crowded!" But then the same guy told us "It isn’t over till it’s over."

Pix

26 comments:

Ottayan said...

Dyscalculia indeed. :)

ankit said...

add to that, ICC

well it is the recent numbers that they have put that puts a mathematical question on their logical operators!

Som said...

Ottayan, welcome.

Som said...

Ankit, I think I somehow overlooked the ICC dinosaurs.

straight point said...

hahaha... aweSOM maan...!!

on contrary sehwag seems to have done his calculations very perfectly...on being asked whats the difference between him and sachin...he famosly said...

"bank balance..."

Som said...

SP, that was jaw-dropping. Only Sehwag can do that.

Naked Cricket said...

Aamir Khan's new film, Taare cricket field pe.

Som, you outnumbered us with this post.

SP, shame he backtracked on that. Think Viru's writing his book talking.

Som said...

NC, did I? Actually never counted the eggs I laid!

Soulberry said...

Brilliant!

Did Yogi Berra actually say that?

So, when Asrani commanded his troops back in Sholay, was he doing a Yogi or was Berra doing an Asrani?

Som said...

Soulberry, sample the following from Yogi Berra:

1. "I didn't really said everything I said."
2. "It gets late early here."
3. "He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious."

Follow the link to get more such Yogiism.

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Yogi_Berra

pseudo intellectual said...

then am not the only one who sucks at math, eh? :P :P

achettup said...

lol @ the amphibious berra quote! Awesome post... Don't forget Gavaskar changed the laws of probability for coin tosses last year too...

Som said...

Titli, certainly not. Count me as well.

Som said...

Achettup, oops, overlooked the Sunny side! You mean it started in India?

Anonymous said...

Hope Aamir Khan gets to see this post. He has always been a great fan of cricket and mental weaknesses seem to be his latest crush (TZP, Ghajini)....

Wonder if AK can script and direct an Oscar winning film on the same topic...

Som said...

Anonymous, welcome thought. AK does not read my blog, I occasionally read his. Will try to raise the issue there.

ankit said...

issue about Amir not reading your blog, Som?

i say, raise it!

Som said...

Ankit, my threat-mail is on its way to AK.

Jrod said...

Hello dear blogging friend,

Cricket with balls has now moved, true story.

We are now at cricketwithballs.com, so if you could update our address in your blogroll that would be great.

Ofcourse if you already had us down as .com, never mind.

Cheers.

Cricket Tragic said...

Do u think ppl's prediction that Murali will get a 1000 test wickets is also a case of dyscalculia too? ;)

Abdul said...

The recent appointment of Younis Khan was a quick move for improvement in the fate of Pakistan cricket. Pakistan lost by humiliating and shameful margins in the recent ODI series calling for a serious meeting and an immediate decision was taken by Ijaz Butt for the better. Younis has been successful in domestic cricket captaining Habib Bank limited and as long as relationships remain positive with other players I can picture this appointment as a worthwhile success. Let’s face the reality that Malik was never “captaincy material” and never looked like taking Pakistan forward. Therefore applauds to some common sense applied Ijaz Butt and Abdul Qadir after all the brainless management associated with the board in the last decade or so. Now there next step will be lifting the ICL bans and as I’ve said before forget by passing the semi final stage for T20 drama in England this summer without their expertise and formidable talent.

Here are my preferred Pakistan team for different formats.
Odi

Imran Nazir
Imran Farhat
Younis Khan
Mohammed Yousuf
Shoiab Malik
Fawad Alam
Kamran Akmarl
Sohail Tanvir
Mansoor Amjad
Umar Gul
Sohail Khan

Here u are provided with a unique and flamboyant opening partnership who have shown they communicate and play well together with their relationship and consistency in the ICL. They can dominate proceedings as there both extraordinary talents in there free scoring style and can quite simply take the opposition to the cleaners. Admirable batting which is well as truly pleasurable and unmissible to watch as Pat Symcox so rightly mentioned. Than that brilliance is backed up by an established middle order who can go on and consolidate with the start and anchor the innings. Then young blood in Fawad Alam followed up by Mansoor Amjad. Now he certainly is a prospect I rate highly as did late coach Bob Woolmer. U can see glimpses of Abdul Qadir in his action and attacking approach to the crease. He also has made amends with his hattrick against Bangladesh. The final fall of wickets on this link gives u a sound insight into Mansoor http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=mTzUhu_FusE
Are u thinking what I am !
As shown in that link he is of quality. His first wicket was tossed up there on a good line and length outside the off stump and turned away. The second was again thrown up there and defeated the batsmen with a bit of turn. Finally true PERFECTION with that googly that was beautifully executed outside the off stump and bowled the batsmen through the gate. Also as u can see in that video he is a decent fielder and a handy batsman to accomplish his bowing and therefore if u can’t afford Kaneria u certainly will buy this prospect who promises great things in years to come.
A true matchwinner and just like Qadir had a lethal googly which can bamboozle batsmen!

The formation of the bowling attack consists of 3 fast bowlers and the quality specialist spinner. Tanvir and Gul have gained valuable experience playing all over the globe. Tanvir has the ability to swing the ball both ways and could be the new “Wasim Akram” following his heroical performances in the IPL whereas Gul has developed into a skilful fast bowler who is highly effective bowling at the death and can also produce the “jaffa” bowling on his gifted back of a length line.
Also u can possible play 2 spinners in expense for batsmen if required but Fawad Alam and Malik can make up the 5th bowler between themselves.
The other options could be Tahir Khan or Imran Tahir who after being so successful in domestic cricket am pounding over the question of why he hasn’t has the option of playing international cricket. Pakistan should buy him before Southafrica do !






T20
Imran Nazir
Imran Farhat
Rana Naved
Younis Khan
Shoiab Malik
Misbah Ul Huq
Kamran Akmarl
Fawad Alam
Sohail Tavir
Mansoor Amjad
Umar Gul


Here the key emphasis relies around FIREPOWER. Rana Naved and Misbah could come in as skilful specialists for this format which promises so much for Pakistan cricket. The team shall certainly benefit from ICL and IPL experience and have shown considerable potential for it.

Test
Salman Butt
Shoaib Malik
Younis Khan
Mohamed Yosuf
?
Fawad Alam
Kamran Akmarl
Sohail Tanvir
Umar Gul
Sohail Khan
Danish Kaneria

Tahir Khan or even Mansoor could be applied as a second spinner if required.

The key emphasis surrounds “matchwinners”
I also feel Pakistan cricket won’t be able to go forward without ICL player’s presence and experience. They should cut out this daft legislation and frightened emotions of bodies such as BCCI and ICC and simply just do what’s best for the development. Therefore support my campaign “ICL KILARI ZINDA HAI” and before u know it inshallah they will be back and rearing to go!

Som said...

Jrod, done.

Som said...

Cricket tragic, welcome to Doosra and sorry for the delay.
Well, nothing is really impossible for Murali. The only question is can he sustain the wears and tears for that long?

Som said...

Abdul, I sincerely hope Qadir & Co read your post and get their selection right.

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