World Cup Day 1: 7 Observations

1. Aaron Finch gives the impression that he spends leisure time skinning wild buffaloes alive with a blunt knife;

2. As captain, Eoin Morgan now has more ducks than you can hope to find in a rural Bengal pond on a given day;

3. Freed from captaincy, Morgan can express himself better. As Hollywood would vouch, what suits England most is a Morgan Freeman.

4. Mitchell is Australia’s answer to Bollywood’s Rahul. Mitchells comprised 3/11th of the Australian line-up;

5. Steven Finn’s hat-trick will go down in history as a cricketing feat as memorable as something which presently escapes my mind;

6. Sri Lanka’s 98-run defeat to New Zealand is their worst since going down to Lord Ram;

7. Mahinda Rajapakse’s defeat appeared to hang heavily on Lasith Malinga’s mind.

7 players and why they hit IPL jackpot

1. Kieron Pollard: To fill the Resident Hairdo Weirdo's post lying vacant since Robin Uthappa left Mumbai Indians;

2. Shane Bond: To bolster West Bengal Police which cut such a sorry figure against the Maoists;

3. Mohd Kaif: Owes his contract to misunderstanding. With Preity Zinta nursing a sore heart, Kings XI Punjab wanted an actress for their new video and thought Katrina Kaif was on offer. Ms Zinta later strongly resented this skullduggery by Lalit Modi;

4. Eoin Morgan: A man of well-known scruples, Vijay Mallya wanted a Catholic taster for his breweries. Besides, he was under the impression that the stripling was ICC chief David Morgan's offspring;

5. Damien Martyn: The mothballed veteran was plucked out of retirement to fill the babysitting void at Rajasthan Royals since Kamran Akmal was not at hand;

6. Wayne Parnell: Delhi Daredevils could not get over its infatuation for players nicknamed 'Pigeon';

7. Yousuf Abdulla: Hear it here first. A grateful Lalit Modi paid the money from his pocket as a Thank-You gesture to South Africa for hosting IPL II.