Friday, 24 July 2015

15 More Predictions

1. Mukesh Ambani will buy Greece from an auction outbidding a Qatari royal and bring it under Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporation;

2. Farmers’ suicide will finally be a thing of the past as there won’t be any left to attempt it;

3. An Indian will invent a cordless mobile charger which would double up as pajama drawstring;

4. Shoaib Akhtar will pip Rameez Raja to Indian citizenship;

5. Mahatma Gandhi will appear during a joint parliament session, demanding his name is deleted from history, insisting he wants none of it;

6. The UN will ban IPL and all franchise-based sports leagues simply for coming up with such ghastly names for the teams;

7. Trying to create the photographic illusion of touching the top of the minaret at Taj Mahal and similar structures will be declared as mental illness;

8. Eclairs will become legitimate currency;

9. Girls with moustache and guys with pot-belly will dominate the next decade;

10. New breed of hens will directly lay boiled egg.

11. Shah Rukh Khan will lose a Bollywood Dahi Handi competition to Ranvir Kapoor after selecting the likes of Kailash Kher, Aamir Khan and Rajpal Yadav in his team. The human pyramid didn’t come anywhere near the pot;

12. A new Nehru biography will disclose he was actually called "Cha Cha" Nehru for being nimble-footed in that Cuban dance form;

13. Chetan Bhagat will confess his latest books are duds and he buys thousands of them himself to make them best-sellers.

14. Future poll promises by political parties will include offer to help people climb out of their skinny jeans;

15. Death will be optional.


Pratik said...

Deadly again. But why so few and far between?

Som said...

@Pratik: Thanks. 30 predictions spread over two posts, isn't it par for the course?

journs said...

Marvelous! 8&14 is a masterstroke for me.

Som said...

@journs, thank you :)

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