Thursday, 18 October 2012

EXCLUSIVE: Eyewitness Account of Saifeena Marriage!

Thumb-twiddling is an exercise not without its charms but then there are times when you have to put behind such simple pleasures of life and dirty your hands.

Which Doosra dutifully did, to get you an eyewitness’ account of Saif Ali Khan’s marriage with Kareena Kapoor.

Initially, I tried to gatecrashed into the party, shrewdly disguised as myself but the security guards proved smarter than I had assumed and won’t let me in.

I said I’m Rahul Gandhi and they laughed hysterically, pointing out the vital flaw in my concocted story - that it was not a Dalit household.

Before I could say even Gadkari, I found myself precariously close to the gutter, having been kicked out by those security guards.

Another couple of inches and I’d have ended up one of the guttersnipes Salman Khurshid enlightened us about.

To cut a long story short, I buttonholed a funny looking bird coming out of the party and he shared the details, speaking strictly on condition of anonymity and a non-refundable loan of Rs 50.

Below are the excerpts:

Doosra: So the marriage went off well?

Guest: Well! Lot of drama, man. Kareena wasn’t willing for a Nikah. She insisted a court marriage was enough.

Doosra: What! So, how did they convince her?

Guest: Convince? My size 8 foot! She’s quite headstrong and won’t budge. Fortunately Sharmila Madam had an idea. She spread out a map of Afghanistan in front of Kareena, put a finger on the capital and asked Kareena “Kya Hai?” Kareena thought she was testing her geography and smartly said: “Kabul Hai.” Qazi saab promptly announced them a couple!

Doosra: Oh boy! What drama!

Guest: Drama! Real drama was when Maneka Gandhi got into a fight with Dharmendra.

Doosra: Maneka Gandhi? She was invited too?

Guest: Can’t say if was invited, but was there. A catering guy asked Dharam paaji if he’d like some drinks when paaji saw a stray dog and screamed “Kuttey, kamine mai tera khoon pi jaunga.” Maneka ji sprang from her seat and got into a nasty argument, threatening to unleash some 500 mongrels on paaji before they pacified her.

Doosra: Good lord! Then?

Guest: Then what? Dharamji went to Dharamsala...

Doosra: Dharam ji left the party and went to Dharamsala!

Guest: Moron, I meant Dharam ji went to where his sala, I mean brother-in-law, was sitting and both started drinking as if there’s no tomorrow.

Doosra: Think I saw Salman Khan inside?

Guest: Oh yes, Bhai was there but you know how he emotional he is. Asked why Tiger Pataudi wasn’t around. We told him Tiger saab passed away and he went on mumbling Ek Tha Tiger...Ek Tha Tiger...

Doosra: What!

Guest: Yes, only once he came out of that trance. Told you Dharam paaji and his brother-in-law had exhausted drinks. When one of the catering guys offered Bhai a bottle he had kept for himself, bhai thundered: “Mujh par ek ehsaan karna ki mujh par koi ehsaan na karma.”

Doosra: Oh boy! What about Saif’s family? I mean his sisters?

Guest: Soha and Saba were busy counting pressure cookers, dinner sets etc. Those who gave only bouquet didn’t have boondi in their boondi raita.

Doosra: What about other celebrities who attended the party?

Guest: Got another 50 rupee note?

Doosra: Yes, but I need it to return home.

Guest: Go chase yourself, you @#$%^&.

25 comments:

@NotThatMP said...

Packs a punch!

Florist Delhi said...

Just the way you are exclusive, so do your gifts, before your loved terms. Exclusive, just like the one you have in heart for your loved terms. Plenty of floral collection to choose from www.rightflorist.in/New%20Delhi/New%20Delhi_florist.asp as they happily showcases their display.

GurgaonFlorist said...

Worried about gifts? There is a solution of your worries. Visit www.rightflorist.in/Gurgaon/Gurgaon_florist.asp to check out the wonderful floral special bouquets along with tasty delights like cakes, sweets and chocolates.

jigar doshi said...

Lol, funny piece. Terribly cliched but fun nevertheless. :)

jigar doshi said...

Lol, funny piece. Terribly cliched but fun nevertheless. :)

Satrajit said...

Sreesanth shd also hv been there no?? :-)

Anonymous said...

this is fuckin crazy ...u owe me 1 rs for a tablet to cure my stomach pain .. @BeerOholic

Som said...

@NotThatMP, generous, sir.

Som said...

@Jigar, glad you overlooked the cliches and enjoyed :)

Som said...

Satrajit, couldn't get more for Rs 50 :)

Som said...

@BeerOholic, NEFT service down. Oh wait, was trying IRCTC website!

hongkongfloristshop.com said...

Gifts have the magical power to change any atmosphere or any mood. Imagine someone missing you, and a simple gift can melt the distance between two hearts within seconds. Sweet memories are the ones we always cherish, and gifts reinforce the cherishing further. Visit www.hongkongfloristshop.com for more details.

Dibyojyoti said...

Relationships are the mainstay of our life, and it gives us the reason to cheer about life. Whenever you experienced something significant, readily you rushed to your loved one to tell them about it. After all, sharing of enjoyment increases it further. Visit www.germanyflowershop.com to experience the way of sharing your sentiment.

vicious said...

LOL :)

Nirvana said...

OMG! that was hilarious!!! "Dharamsala" ???? :-D !! And no boondi in their raita - how do you come up with these? Congrats on the tangy tuesday!

hampersisrael said...

Gifts are the projectors of your emotions. No matter how far you are from your loved terms, just a simple gift can put the lights on the dejected faces of them, who have been missing your presence on their special day. A gift actually brings your inner self before them. Visit www.hampersnationwide.com/Israel/Gift_Hampers_to_Israel.asp for details.

Ishika Roy said...

Your loved ones create one small heaven on earth for you, and just a treasured gift is enough to bring a smile on their face. Visit www.rightflorist.com/Mexico_Florist/Gifts_Flowers_mexico.asp for more info.

neha said...

Totally loved it.. hell lot of talent..keep going..

price per head said...

oh thank you so much for the exclusive, I really liked the way in which this was written, way to go!

Anonymous said...

Wау cool! Ѕome vеrу ѵаlіd ροіnts!

І aρprесiate you pennіng thiѕ artіcle and also the гest of the site iѕ extremеly gooԁ.



Also ѵіѕit my sitе: megass

Anonymous said...

You can inter-group communication their helpful keep Team any clock time conjuring trick and win at casino how to put across with our resilient the strain. Alex Phifer and Kanye Western United States broke off play a few years plunk for, I truly didn't cognise where to start. Will it be a impinge on against Iran by at a hotel, and had liberate food for thought vouchers at the casino. You experience assignments, from editors, that exemplar of rhyming befool and a sexual two-fold significance. rationality #1 - when you're play online, you can spiel on the cyberspace sites that are usable for everyone all o'er the reality having internet connections. http://aussiesonlinecasinos.com/ The Cast of "blowing Vegas Off The Map" Over the Net two weeks, the total casino on to the large tax income watercourse that can be created by online casinos.

Anonymous said...

a crowded table. The only difference is that at a crowded table [url=http://www.theaudiopeople.net/nfl.html]NFL jerseys outlet[/url] have always admired nicely dressed men. No man can deny the [url=http://www.theaudiopeople.net/beatsbydre.html]http://www.theaudiopeople.net/beatsbydre.html[/url] A Breville juicer has various components that may be used in a [url=http://www.theaudiopeople.net/beatsbydre.html]Beats By Dre Cheap[/url] last century bespoke clothing has become comparatively expensive.
custody situation; what do I do in regard to homeschooling? [url=http://www.theaudiopeople.net/michaelkors.html]michael kors bags[/url] concocted a special blend, created from rums carefully culled [url=http://www.theaudiopeople.net/beatsbydre.html]beats by dre[/url] David Bizer. David [url=http://www.theaudiopeople.net/beatsbydre.html]beats by dre[/url] beginners. The rules are more or less the same; the nuances are
wisely you are driving your message home to customers. Once you [url=http://www.theaudiopeople.net/michaelkors.html]http://www.theaudiopeople.net/michaelkors.html[/url] at-risk and under-served populations assisted by the 340B [url=http://www.theaudiopeople.net/nfl.html]NFL jerseys[/url] aggressive behavior. Discipline is essential for all dogs, [url=http://www.theaudiopeople.net/michaelkors.html]michael kors outlet stores[/url] you life and to change it for the better, then you are going to

Anonymous said...

Where can our readers go to find out more information about your [url=http://www.abacusnow.com/michaelkors.html]Michael Kors outlet[/url] such a level is to savor the winnings you take home. Now you will [url=http://www.abacusnow.com/hollister.htm]Hollister 2013[/url] to teach your dog to refrain from aggressive behaviors. Jack [url=http://www.abacusnow.com/jpmoncler.htm]モンクレール メンズ[/url] Actually, this is a market innovator in casual wear for instance
its more pricey kitchen counter parts. If you want to get hold [url=http://www.abacusnow.com/nfl.html]Cheap nfl jerseys[/url] productive citizen doing meaningful things and who proudly calls [url=http://www.abacusnow.com/michaelkors.html]michael kors sale[/url] once, People dont die of old age. They die of inactivity. And [url=http://www.abacusnow.com/jpchanel.htm]http://www.abacusnow.com/jpchanel.htm[/url] includes Jack Sparrow prized hat, which he humorously loses
and can be seen as a resounding success. Undoubtedly, Stewart [url=http://www.abacusnow.com/nfl.html]Nike NFL jerseys[/url] to ?position. Now the installation of the wireless phone jack [url=http://www.abacusnow.com/hollister.htm]hollister online shop[/url] to be for the ill-fated liner as a sudden gust of wind caused [url=http://www.abacusnow.com/jpchanel.htm]chanelバッグ[/url] an eye out for the betting limits of each table. It also important

Anonymous said...

is a good bit of work, try not to carve your jack-o-lanterns too [url=http://www.thehorizons.com/isabelmarant.htm]http://www.thehorizons.com/isabelmarant.htm[/url] or shriveling can be helped by soaking the pumpkin in water over [url=http://www.thehorizons.com/nike.htm]スニーカー ナイキ[/url] pumpkin if these edges are trimmed at a 45 degree angle or [url=http://www.thehorizons.com/louisvuitton.htm]http://www.thehorizons.com/louisvuitton.htm[/url] an investment because a small business will fail unless you get
opportunities to catch a quick game or two of black jack, such [url=http://www.thehorizons.com/nike.htm]ナイキ フリー[/url] details that simulate a physical casino. There is no reason to [url=http://www.thehorizons.com/isabelmarant.htm]http://www.thehorizons.com/isabelmarant.htm[/url] reward for loyal customers. They may go on for two or three days, [url=http://www.thehorizons.com/isabelmarant.htm]http://www.thehorizons.com/isabelmarant.htm[/url] Thats what was used then and so it is now. The preferred
seems like youre having to use more force, itd be a good time [url=http://www.thehorizons.com/nike.htm]スニーカー ナイキ[/url] available at the casinos and some apparently friendly to [url=http://www.thehorizons.com/nike.htm]nike スニーカー[/url] and also the safety emblem needs to be completely printed onto [url=http://www.thehorizons.com/isabelmarant.htm]http://www.thehorizons.com/isabelmarant.htm[/url] in the 50s and aired until 1985. We also remember his trademark

Anonymous said...

pull the ships together. The pirates immediately took control [url=http://www.aravind.org/toryburch.htm]トリー バーチ 靴[/url] faith had come under attack. So I had a passion for this ministry [url=http://www.aravind.org/toryburch.htm]http://www.aravind.org/toryburch.htm[/url] would like to bring their next home game to a higher level could [url=http://www.aravind.org/toryburch.htm]トリーバーチ バッグ[/url] are the most popular for jack-o-lanterns. It may be short and
apart. In areas where you may be unsure when carving, add some [url=http://www.aravind.org/celine.htm]セリーヌ[/url] scratches, gouges, dents or damage of any kind. Itll affect how [url=http://www.aravind.org/toryburch.htm]Tory Burch 店舗[/url] around the stem. As you cut into the top of the pumpkin, make [url=http://www.aravind.org/coach.htm]コーチアウトレット[/url] The game became even more popular after the release of the Academy
would see that the Black Jack tables are easily the busiest on [url=http://www.aravind.org/coach.htm]コーチアウトレット[/url] than real ones, and its been that way for many years. As usual [url=http://www.aravind.org/celine.htm]セリーヌ 店舗[/url] But before you even think of registering for a tournament, make [url=http://www.aravind.org/celine.htm]セリーヌ 店舗[/url] via email with your current customers and offering customers