Tuesday, 8 May 2012

7 Reasons Why I Should Be The Next India President!

The election of India's next President seems a three-horse race with Pranab Mukherjee as the front-runner, Hamid Ansari hot on his heels and APJ Abdul Kalam as the proverbial dark equine.

Well, even Ajit Agarkar can tell you that what the venerable trio need is not presidency but a bottle of Sandhi-Sudha, a hair transplant and a haircut, in the said order.

As Arindam Chaudhuri, the greatest pony-tail of our generation, hollers from magazine covers - dare to think beyond the obvious.

Here's why it makes colossal sense to make me the next India President:

1. I have serious contempt for major political parties, which means I won’t discriminate against anyone;

2.There are no land-grabbing allegations against me;

3. While taking guard of honour, I can stand erect without looking like a cartoon that Mamata Banerjee can ban anytime;

4. A 2BHP part of the Rashtrapati Bhavan will do for me. Lights/fans/ACs in rest of the building will remain switched off resulting in significant savings.

5. I'm good with kids. I'm told this is a must for the job and one of the former occupants of this building built his reputation around this sole virtue:

6. I can say in exactly five minutes what some annually blabber over an hour-and-half. And I can make it even enjoyable;

and finally:

7. My landlord has asked me to vacate the flat and I badly need a place to stay :(


Pratik said...

Well, I will vote for you. But need to become an MLA or MP first

Som said...

Pratik, that's the problem. Once I become prez, will use all my clout to make you an MP/MLA.

1111111111111111 said...

8. I use my mobile phone only for calls and messages not FOR ANYTHING ELSE !!

Som said...

11111....My cellphone's best use is as paperweight :)

1111111111111111 said...

Then u definately need to b the president...i'l try to b d prime minister :)

Som said...

11111...you seem to have what it takes to be :)

Anonymous said...

awww...you need a place to stay? Of course, there is no better place than Rashtrapati Bhavan and I wish you all the best for the race ! ;)

Btw, Som, we are missing Shahid Afridi's secret diary. Has he taken it back from you?

Best iPhone Games said...

It's like if people who are not at all honest are in the list of becoming the president then why not you.. you are better than those people... :)

Som said...

Anonymous, seems lost it while shifting. Some found it in poor taste. So not sure about continuing it. Maybe....thanks anyway :)

Play Cricket Game said...

According to me or youth of india A.P.J. kALAM ONLY ONE who is no. 1 position to get president chair. Because president is one of the top member of any country so i think Mr. KALAM is perfect for president.

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pay per head service said...

haha I think that if I were Indian, I would vote for you my friend with no doubt!!! :D :D

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