Well, even Ajit Agarkar can tell you that what the venerable trio need is not presidency but a bottle of Sandhi-Sudha, a hair transplant and a haircut, in the said order.
As Arindam Chaudhuri, the greatest pony-tail of our generation, hollers from magazine covers - dare to think beyond the obvious.
Here's why it makes colossal sense to make me the next India President:
1. I have serious contempt for major political parties, which means I won’t discriminate against anyone;
2.There are no land-grabbing allegations against me;
3. While taking guard of honour, I can stand erect without looking like a cartoon that Mamata Banerjee can ban anytime;
4. A 2BHP part of the Rashtrapati Bhavan will do for me. Lights/fans/ACs in rest of the building will remain switched off resulting in significant savings.
5. I'm good with kids. I'm told this is a must for the job and one of the former occupants of this building built his reputation around this sole virtue:
6. I can say in exactly five minutes what some annually blabber over an hour-and-half. And I can make it even enjoyable;
7. My landlord has asked me to vacate the flat and I badly need a place to stay :(