In fact Tendulkar should have quit long ago, paaji says.
Probably Tendulkar should have never played cricket in the first place maybe?
Doosra buttonholed paaji for an air-clearing purpose and here goes the excerpts:
Doosra: Paaji, welcome to Doosra.
Kapil: Thanks. You’re cheeks are glistening. I know which shaving cream you use. Palmolive da jawab nahi.
Doosra: Well, no, I mean...whatever.
Kapil: Whatever! I mean what stays for ever? Nothing! I don’t know why people are upset about it but I insist Sachin should retire immediately. With his best interests in mind, I say he should have retired long back. Waise Sachin da jawab nahi.
Doosra: Long back! How long?
Kapil: Maybe before his made his debut. You see, if you retire before making your debut, critics won't be baying for your blood! Isn’t it the smartest thing to do?
Doosra: Not so sure. But paaji, Sachin may not have scored that 100th century but he got quite a few 50s.
Kapil: You miss the point. He does not have age on his side. You grow old and you can't run. And a batsman who can't run is a batsman without runs. And Sidhu once told me that a batsman minus run is like a church minus nun and a burger minus bun. You know, Sidhu da jawab nahi.
Doosra: Yes, paaji. But isn't age just a number? And Sachin is just 38! Jayasuriya played until 42.
Kapil: 38 my size 14 foot! He got his birth certificate from the same guy whom Afridi's parents approached. Do you know every debutant bowler touches Sachin’s feet before he starts bowling? If they bowl bouncers at Sachin, parents scold them for being disrespectful to an old man. You have any idea how many presidents Pakistan had since Sachin’s debut? Eight! Waise to Pakistan da jawab nahi.
Doosra: But paaji, is it not a case of the pot calling the kettle black?
Kapil: What this nonsense? Pot, kettle, strainer...are you a tea-seller? Waise Darjeeling tea da jawab nahin.
Doosra: Paaji, please don’t mind, what I meant is - you yourself got your retirement wrong and the team carried you just to help you get that record.
Kapil: You know what Virat Kohli said?
Doosra: What? That s**t happens?
Kapil: No. He said you carry people who carry the burden of the nation. Kohli da jawab nahi.
Doosra: Paaji, then why can’t India carry Sachin then for a while, maybe until his 100th century?
Kapil: Again you miss the point. Team mates already carried him once, on their shoulders after India won World Cup. You can’t expect them to carry you all your life…it’s not your apartment! Did you mumble something?
Doosra: Hell...no...truly paaji. Kapil da jawab nahi.