Saturday, 5 November 2011

SCOOP: When Mayawati met Schumacher!

Doosra has doggedly remained a cricket blog despite temptations but I guess one has to make exception in extraordinary circumstances.

So when you realise you’ve chanced upon something that doesn’t fall strictly within cricket’s purview, you have to be flexible.

Presently, Doosra has accessed Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister Mayawati’s conversation with F1 legend Michael Schumacher on the sidelines of the Indian GP.

What transpired between them is nothing short of sensational with Schumacher vowing not to race in next year’s race if it’s not shifted out of UP.

Schumacher: Hello madam. How do you do.

Mayawati: Hello...oye…how do you mean? Are you from CBI wanting to know how I do it? But if you really want to know, I prefer in black (winks).

Schumacher: I didn’t get you…

Mayawati: Nobody gets me, not even CBI. He he he. Anyway, who are you? Are you one of the drivers?

Schumacher: Yes. I thought everyone knows Schumacher (sulks). I’m Schumacher.

Mayawati: But you just said you are a driver!

Schumacher: Yes. I’m a world famous driver. Everyone knows, except you.

Mayawati: If everyone knows you are a driver then why are you lying?

Schumacher: I didn’t lie.. (Can’t believe what this fatso is blabbering !)

Mayawati: Everyone knows you are a driver and you are telling me you are a show-maker. Isn’t that lie?

Schumacher: Shoe-maker! My foot!

Mayawati: No, my foot. See, if you are a shoe-maker, I think I can offer you a job. You have to make pump shoes for my feet. I love my footwears you know. Once I sent my private jet to bring my favourite slippers from Mumbai and the mediawallahs made such an issue of it.

Schumacher: You are mistaken madam. I’m a driver called Schumacher. My name is Schumacher, Michael Schumacher.

Mayawati: Stop imitating Bond. So what if you are a driver? I need a driver as well. Will you work for me? I’ll pay you good salary and you get a servant’s quarter as well. And there are parks as well.

Schumacher: You mean perks?

Mayawati: No moron, I mean park. Have you seen my giant statues at the Noida Park? If you become my driver, I’ll install one of your statues as well.

Schumacher: But that’s for people of your party and community!

Mayawati: So what? I’ll change your name to shoe-maker and tell everyone that you are a actually a Dalit cobbler.

Schumacher: Good lord! You are incredible!

Mayawati: So you accepting the job?

Schumacher: Well, madam, it would have been a pleasure. But.. you see that lad? He’s Sebastian Vettel and is a much better driver. He was looking for a job anyway.

Mayawati: What he drives?

Schumacher: He drives a Red Bull.

Mayawati: Bull? You really mean bull? Oye, I’m the lord of Uttar Pradesh and you think I ride a bullock cart?

Schumacher: Madam it’s an F1 team called Red Bull and he’s better than me.

Mayawati: Really? Seems wasted my time here. Oye Sebastian, come here...

28 comments:

P V Ramanujam said...

About five years ago Mayawati came to Ranchi to address an election meeting.
We went to the Airport to get her bite. Instead of taking questions from media persons, she was staring at their shoes.
Now things are clear to me.

Som said...

PVR, that was sign of things to come :)

Pratik said...

hilarious as usual. please write a sequel. want to hear what maya told schumi's fried tendulkar at indian gp

Som said...

Pratik, not a bad idea actually :)

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Som,

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Witty, as usual! :)

Som said...

Titli, I guess I've become too predictable :)

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81atoms said...

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cost per head said...

that is another very nice story dear blogger and I wish I could meet someday either Mayawati or Schumacher!

ekita said...

Hahaha.. No wonder F1 is moving out of India!!:-P