Sunday, 20 November 2011

7 ways to honour Tendulkar when he hits 100x100

Some MCA moron An honourable union minister has decided to honour Sachin Tendulkar with 100 gold coins if he hits his 100th international century in Mumbai.

It tells us Mumbai dance bars may have shut down but showering cash on performers is an ingrained habit that dies hard.

Square-cutting the crap, Doosra suggests seven really cool ways to honour Tendulkar.

1. "Aila" should replace “Hello” as the universal telephone greeting;

2. US Presidents are judged by their performance in the "First Hundred Days". Subsequent White House occupants should be judged against the same benchmark, which will now be called the "Tendulkar Test";

3. Minnesota, the Land of Ten Thousand (100X100, if you missed the point) Lakes, should change its name to Sachinesota;

4. New thermometers should have a "Tendulkar Point" to denote the boiling temperature of pure water at sea level;

5. "Tennis Elbow" will be called "Tendulkar's Elbow";

6. One of the Indian ordnance factories should be asked to develop a gun with whiskey glass attachment because that’s the only thing Sachin has not endorsed so far;

7. Postal department should issue a stamp in Tendulkar’s honour with Kambli’s photo on the other side which requires spitting.

39 comments:

Titli said...

I think I'd wholeheartedly endorse the last step! :D

Anonymous said...

How about maturing a little...your comments are not any better than the dim bulb who is showering people with gold coins...

Som said...

Titli, you represent the majority view.

Som said...

Anonymous, no immediate plans to mature :)

Satrajit said...

Take a bow for the last point Sire! :)

Som said...

Thanks Satrajit :)

Pratik said...

the last one takes the cake, really. but the one abt ordnance factory is no less remarkable

Som said...

Pratik, still 2/7. Will need 'grace mark' to clear the exam :)

P V Ramanujam said...

How about adding an eighth way----replacing
Om! Namah Narayana with
Om! Namah Sachinarayana!

P V Ramanujam said...

How about an eighth way----replacing
Om! Namah Narayana with
Om! Namah Sachinarayana!

Som said...

PVR, already some people call him God. Maybe placing his idol in Siddhivinayak Mandir?

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Cricket Gossip said...

This is good 1, I enjoyed your article but this is really a good 1

Som said...

Cricket Gossip, not sure I get you entirely but it sounds I'm doing okay :)

Rahul said...

oo much talk about Tendulkar's 100 that make no sense. The way it is presented, one would think that Indian cricket is depending on Tendulkar's 100th test century. It is time to move away from Mumbai circle and begin to recognise allrounders like Ashwin. What a game! 5 wickets and a ton! Harbajan Singh is not at all a must when India has found Ashwins and more.

Som said...

Rahul, you talk sense but can't see you winning even a municipal election in Mumbai :) Welcome to Doosra.

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Life time member of Beggers Association. said...

I really enjoyed your article and asked to few of my friends to go through it.........good one !

Som said...

Dear honourable Life-Time Member of The Beggar Association, welcome to Doosra. Also wondering what's the procedure of getting the membership of your association.

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Pay per head said...

those are seven good ways to honour Tendulkar indeed; however, I can mention 10 and even 15 ways, do you want me to share them with you??

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