Thursday, 2 December 2010

Brisbane Report Card for Aussie Bowlers

Can't really blame you if you missed it. The boffins have just revised the Edentata order -- that exclusive club of toothless animals -- adding Australian bowling to the list.

Had a dead earthworm watched them in Brisbane -- provided dead earthworms can watch and are welcome in Brisbane -- it would have gone home with the conviction that it had more venom than the Aussie attack.

Here is the Doosra report card:

1. Peter Siddle: The first innings hat-trick hero bowled as if England had fielded a different XI in the second. At one point, seemed like scratching Alastair Cook to make sure he wasn't limewashed Lara with a mascara;

2. Mitchell Johnson: Bowled like a man who was doing it only to please his Karateka girlfriend but was not liking offending a resenting mother;

3. Ben Hilfenhaus: Was asked to bowl only because Ponting resented him trousering the envelop without breaking a sweat;

4. Xavier Doherty: Peddled crap, as if bowling to himself;

5. Marcus North: Lacked direction beyond that surname.

6. Shane Watson: Bowled with the air of a man who had fixed a deal with the guy upstairs and was told to just release the ball, leaving rest to Him.

11 comments:

Govind Raj said...

Som,

With so much happening on Pakistan Cricket front, how come you haven't done your homework on Afridi's secret Dairy ?

You can't blame Aussie bowlers. Australia scored at almost 5 RPO in the last session of the test. That is after being battered for about 160 overs for one wicket that went Northwards.

I doubt someone is into 'Pitch Fixing !' Don't you think we are about to stumble upon a new sensational controversy ?

South Africa couldn't bowl out Pakistan twice in a test in two tests in spite of Pak playing with their Third 11.

Isn't it time they woke up and made bowler friendly pitches ?

Som said...

Govind, didn't watch Afridi for sometime and could not get the latest from him. But something is cooking:)

Btw, you are spot on about pitches. We need to punish those sons of pitches, the pitch docs I meant.

Sidthegnomenator said...

No, no - pitch fixing it is.

Or possibly I'm in denial about how shit we are.

And now we have Ryan Harris for the second test. Can it get any worse?

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Som said...

Sid...I haven't lost trust in the English batters yet. Won't be surprise if they go and self-destruct tomorrow. Must be music to your ears :)

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Sidthegnomenator said...

Alistair Cook again?

This is getting embarrassing.

Som said...

...A self-proclaimed Cook again spoiling Australia's broth...there's something seriously wrong with test cricket!

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