Thursday, 2 December 2010

Brisbane Report Card for Aussie Bowlers

Can't really blame you if you missed it. The boffins have just revised the Edentata order -- that exclusive club of toothless animals -- adding Australian bowling to the list.

Had a dead earthworm watched them in Brisbane -- provided dead earthworms can watch and are welcome in Brisbane -- it would have gone home with the conviction that it had more venom than the Aussie attack.

Here is the Doosra report card:

1. Peter Siddle: The first innings hat-trick hero bowled as if England had fielded a different XI in the second. At one point, seemed like scratching Alastair Cook to make sure he wasn't limewashed Lara with a mascara;

2. Mitchell Johnson: Bowled like a man who was doing it only to please his Karateka girlfriend but was not liking offending a resenting mother;

3. Ben Hilfenhaus: Was asked to bowl only because Ponting resented him trousering the envelop without breaking a sweat;

4. Xavier Doherty: Peddled crap, as if bowling to himself;

5. Marcus North: Lacked direction beyond that surname.

6. Shane Watson: Bowled with the air of a man who had fixed a deal with the guy upstairs and was told to just release the ball, leaving rest to Him.


Govind Raj said...


With so much happening on Pakistan Cricket front, how come you haven't done your homework on Afridi's secret Dairy ?

You can't blame Aussie bowlers. Australia scored at almost 5 RPO in the last session of the test. That is after being battered for about 160 overs for one wicket that went Northwards.

I doubt someone is into 'Pitch Fixing !' Don't you think we are about to stumble upon a new sensational controversy ?

South Africa couldn't bowl out Pakistan twice in a test in two tests in spite of Pak playing with their Third 11.

Isn't it time they woke up and made bowler friendly pitches ?

Som said...

Govind, didn't watch Afridi for sometime and could not get the latest from him. But something is cooking:)

Btw, you are spot on about pitches. We need to punish those sons of pitches, the pitch docs I meant.

Anonymous said...

No, no - pitch fixing it is.

Or possibly I'm in denial about how shit we are.

And now we have Ryan Harris for the second test. Can it get any worse?

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Som said...

Sid...I haven't lost trust in the English batters yet. Won't be surprise if they go and self-destruct tomorrow. Must be music to your ears :)

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Anonymous said...

Alistair Cook again?

This is getting embarrassing.

Som said...

...A self-proclaimed Cook again spoiling Australia's broth...there's something seriously wrong with test cricket!

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