Monday, 14 June 2010

7 reasons why soccer is a better game than cricket

1. Footballers refrain from something as unhygienic as applying saliva on the ball in full view of the broadcast public, including impressionable kids, and still look unapologetic;

2. Staying with the hygiene theme, FIFA deals with groin dermatitis in a more straight-forward way. So far, no footballer has been reported rubbing ball for that momentary pleasure;

3. Winning captain doesn’t uproot the goalpost and take it home as souvenir;

4. Losing captain doesn’t make outrageous excuses like the grass on turf suited the opponents;

5. The referee is not reduced to a walking hanger where players deposit their stinking garments;

6. The ball is way too big even for an Afridi’s mouth;

7. They don’t orchestrate a tiny scrum of handful scums and call it a World Cup.

115 comments:

straight point said...

umpires have to run like hell to earn money and respect...

captains don't spit on palms to play football...

they don't wait for 34/90 overs to change the ball...

you can stop ball with your spiked boot and still get away with it...

Som said...

SP, there is no Lalit Modi and his cheshire smile, no Ravi Shastri to up the ante and no Sidhu with his...well Sidhuism. And if you miss ICL, well Mayanti Langer is here as well :)

Govind Raj said...

Som,
Your Bengali prejudice is showing :-)

Give thousand reasons to say Soccer is better than Cricket. But we have only one reason that is enough to prove Cricket is better than Football.

1] Sachin Tendulkar doesn't play football - India will agree with this!

Then as a bonus, I'll bang the other Six...

2] Virendar Sehwag can score over 100 runs in 90 minutes without even playing reverse sweep. Can Messi score 10 goals even if they remove the Goalkeeper?

3] A T-20 match these days records more Sixes and fours than the number of goals scored in an entire Soccer World cup!

4] Shane Warne can hit the off stump after pitching the ball outside the wide line on leg. Can any footballer manage such thing from 22 yards?

5] Malinga can crash a small cherry at the base of those little timbers. We see so many of those bloated superstars miss a HUGE Hole from a few feet even as they use a giant of a ball.

6] A Man credited with 'Hand of God' is still a super star in Soccer. In Cricket, he would be called Nincompoop and disgraced!

7] And finally the 'Minority Factor'. Anyone with a pair of feet can kick the ball. You need much better skills to play Cricket. That is why Cricket is played by a minuscule minority of Countries.
:-)

Som said...

Govind, fortunately there is no Tendulkar in football. In other words, fortunately there is no sacred cow in football :)

Govind Raj said...

An after thought, but still valid:

Football is a useless game for us Desi people. In spite of a zillion defeats, India can still play in Cricket World Cup and be there with some hopes of winning. Why, we can even fix the results and win something!

Unless we get to host the event, India will never qualify to play at Football WC in our lifetime!

I am not exactly fond of being a surrogate fan of some South American country or a European Country and rejoice when they win!

We all know 99.99% Brazilians don't even know a man called Sachin Tendulkar exists !

PS: Taking anything seriously is seriously prohibited on Doosra; if you didn't know it already :-)

Naked Cricket said...

3's a riot.

Som said...

Govind, you are the moral ombudsman of this blog. If ever you sniff me taking something seriously here, issue a reprimand:)

I think it gives me an opportunity to confess that in a sense, I'm not patriotic enough. I always wanted Brian Lara to do well even if meant India's defeat. I'm more of a follower of individual cults and not comfortable with the theory of nation. Would rather explore other avenues of proving my patriotism. And if patriotism comes in the way of my internationalism, I have issues :)


BTW...you provoke me to reveal the series. At this stage, all I can say is that this post is just first in a 2 or 3-part series. Wait for the next:)

Som said...

NC, thanks for reading me the riot act:)

Govind Raj said...

Som,

I too have some confessions:

I always loved the bowlers to do well; simply because I was good for nothing with the bat when I played this game.

My favorites have been Shane Warne, Wasim Akram, Waqar Yunis, Anil Kumble and now Dale Steyn and Swann!

Except when India play, I love Warne to do well. I have even fantasized Warne and McGrath getting England all out for Naught :-)

Som said...

Govind, I too had this bowler-bias unless it was Lara or Azhar on song in the crease:)

namya said...

Even Indian channels cant put in 4 ad slots every 3 minutes in a football match

Govind Raj said...

Namya, You are completely wrong. ESPN-Star Sports have a Sports Culture and they know how to moderate the ads.

Give the telecast rights to Set Max [Remember IPL and 2003 Cricket WC] or Neo Sports and just watch the fun.

Even as you wait for the replay of a dazzling goal, you'll see 'Nirma Nirma'.

They will show Dhoni talking about Maxx Mobiles when the Referee is talking to an offender with the yellow card. And all you'll see is RED!

Replay of a glorious diving save by the Goalie will be replaced by 'Surf Excel' Daag Achche hain!

This is India, anything can happen here :-)

Som said...

Namya, fortunately BCCI doesn't handle soccer!

Som said...

Govind, once again you have actually handed them a readymade script!

NaPsTeR said...

hi guys read comments of you guys looks like everybody is still trying to find out the there patriotism for their fav game
ne ways as for me i always take game as game The moment you take it as a war ... T R O U B L E!!!
What say ???


PS i am new to bloggin so E&OE:-)

Govind Raj said...

Napster,

Nobody takes a game as a war as long as it is 'not' between India and Pakistan or the Ashes or a football match between Argentina and England.

In fact, we here on Doosra never take anything seriously. We just follow Winston Churchill...

To Jaw Jaw is always better than to War War :-)

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Som said...

NaPsTeR, don't expect me to be as articulate as Govind but for us here at Doosra, the recurring allegation has often been that we take war as a game, failing to see the periously serious side of it.

Som said...

Govind, could not put it better:)

Satrajit said...

@Govind and Som: what are u guys watching rght now? Fifa world cup or Asia Cup??

Som said...

Satrajit, shed some light on the so-called Asia Cup that you seem to have some idea about. Going by the name, I can asssume this much that it's taking place somewhere within the continent. Rest is, not history but irrelevance.

Govind Raj said...

@ Satrajit,
To be honest, I don't understand Football. I am always surprised why whole press and generally the entire public is going gaga over someone called 'Messy' and another 'Loony' and then more than one Ronaldos !!!

In Cricket, only Zimbabwe boast of unpronounceable names. In Soccer, you'll need to sit and memorize the names of almost all the players. By the time you've managed to remember all names, the next World Cup will begin and you go right back to start memorizing again :-)

I am a Cricket and Tennis guy. But watching any Cricket played in the subcontinent is quite like watching Ekta Kapoor's serials.

They all have same stories, same costumes, same settings, same villains and vamps. And above all just like the ball change in Cricket, they change faces with plastic surgery in Ekta's serials after every 34 episodes!

So right now, I am watching neither Cricket nor Soccer. But will definitely watch India - Pakistan match if I have the time :-)

Som said...

Govind, you missed the education part of the FIFA World Cup. But for the event, would not have known that some of the countries existed!

Satrajit said...

@Som: why do u say that Asia Cup is an irrelevant name? Does it have anything to do with allowing other Asian countries to play?

Satrajit said...

@ Govind: the Zimbabwe bit was funny :-) me looking forward to the India Pakistan match as well... but have a gut feel that it wont be that exciting!!

ps: might prefer to watch Indian Idol and the Anu Malik if u r neither watching cricket nor football!!

Som said...

Satrajit, there is nothing wrong with the name. It's as much an exeggration as is cricket's 'World Cup'. 'Sub-continent Cup' would be the mot juste. Anyway, it's like splitting hair. Not that I'm not watching glimpses, but simply in no mood of watching cricket. Tell them to come later.

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Ulabsay said...

Haha nice post amidst world cup fever.

1. Much harder to match fix, you can't blatantly score for the other team.

2. Footballers are in much better shape and are generally better looking (no offense to Murali).

Som said...

Ulabsay, welcome to Doosra. Didn't like your oblique dig at Yuvraj Singh when you said "Footballers are in better shape"...:)

Sidthegnomenator said...

@Govind I've called Afridi the "teeth of God" but he's still a hero to some in cricket.

Som said...

Sid, count me among Afidi-worshippers. Can't think of cricket, and cricket blogs, without the Boom Boom man!

Sidthegnomenator said...

Som-ulous - I, too, am a fan of Afridi to be honest. He's certifiable, yes, but would Pakistani cricket be the same without him? I think not.

Som said...

Sidthegnomenator, spot on. Once he's through with it, would have his bust put on a pedestal at the entrance of my place:)

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Magnificent 7 reasons why soccer is a better game than cricket, great to tell, also good to know.

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