Tuesday 26 January 2010

Who are you Shahadat?


There are players who catch your eye. Shahadat Hossain is different. He catches your ear.

Pressed into service, he de-caps himself and sets out. Fairly longish run-up. You curse Shoaib Akhtar for being such a bad influence.

In ODIs, his captain shakes his head and fishes out a chart from pocket. It shows how much his match-fee shrunk.

Teammates cross fingers. Crowd's heart is in their mouth. Is he leaving the field?

No. Shahadat finally stops. He turns, ruffles his hair and runs.

The batsman saw him retreating into a blot. Now the blot swells into a blur. Shahadat begins his voyage, like one of those Narayangunj steamers.

He approaches the umpire, ghosts past him, leaps, lands and delivers it with a grunt!

AAHHH!

As if he had a vile lunch which he wants to throw up.

As if he had half-swallowed a pregnant toad but then had a second thought and was trying to reverse the process.

Or he's putting up his impersonation of a mother-in-labour.

Beyond doubt, Shahadat labours. And he delivers as well. So, in all fairness, issues should not be made if he grunts too.

And there sneaks in the suspicion. Could it be possible that Shahadat actually is a woman's soul trapped in a male body?

Or maybe beneath the veneer, he is Monica Seles in disguise!

Cast aside the snickometer, bring out the grunt-o-meter. We must get to the bottom of the mystery.

7 comments:

Soulberry said...

But he does catch the eye too in Indo-B'desi encounters! His best and worst appear to reserved for India :)

Purna said...

HAHAHA. He is very strange. We thought he was crap but then they did well in the first innings of the first test. Then he became crap again.

Som said...

Soulberry, Shahadat must have returned with an inflated ego after hurting Dravid.

Som said...

Purna, I too believe Shahadat has exhausted his brilliance in that first innings and back to his crappy self again:)

straight point said...

i wish he should have said what he said before the test series... though the way bangladesh are batting we might see him eat his words in second innings itself... :)

Som said...

SP, liked this Bangla bunch. Schoolboy Mushfiqur, kneeling Shakib, Mahmudullah and now Shahadat...but don't even mention Ashrafool.

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