Sunday, 24 January 2010

7 potential alternative careers in cricket

Whenever they speak, some cricketers can be quite thought-provoking. For instance, your first thought after hearing Player A could be a wishful one – wish the proverbial cat had gotten his tongue and was not sighted since.

Some cricketers can also make a believer out of you. The first sentence has barely left Player B's lips and you start believing that human tongue functions independently of human brain.

And then there are certain cricketers, who help you understand things around. Like exactly what thought went behind adding a MUTE button to all remote controls.

But then there are others who make interesting reading and from whatever I listened/read over the last few days, I have no doubt that the seven cricketers below would have made quite a good name in other professions. Cricket's-gain-is-god-knows-what's-loss stuff, I mean.

Sample the men and their utterances.

1. Miandad the Microbiologist: "T20 cricket is a virus". (Tendulkar, clearly from the other school of thought, felt T20 was dessert. Talk about one man’s meat being another man’s poison.)

2. Dr Sunil Gavaskar, MBBS: "The way they (Indian fielders) are going about it (dropping catches), despite the cold weather I doubt if they will be able to catch a cold."

3. Adam Parore the Cardiologist: "Jesse Ryder may have the longest lower abdominal strain in history - someone with a heart transplant would have been back quicker."

4. Wayne Parnell the Actuary: "It’s (the $610,000 hole he created in Daredevils’ pocket) a huge sum of money!"

5. Matthew Hayden, Oz High Commissioner to India: "I have been welcomed into the bosom of India as a brother." (Sourav Ganguly now calls him Hayden da, one hears).

6. Lalit Modi the Environmentalist: "For every effigy burnt I will go and plant 200 trees".

7. Jamie Siddons the Proctologist: "His (Sehwag’s) comments (that Bangladesh is an ordinary side) might bite him on his bum in a few years' time."


Shridhar Jaju said...

truly hilarious.... specially liked the one about javed miandad and sachin tendulkar....

Som said...

Shridhar, thanks and welcome to Doosra:)

straight point said...

If you want an argument in favour of the review system, put Harper on the field; if you want an argument against the system, put Harper in the third umpire's booth.
Simon Barnes in the Times with an assessment of ICC elite umpire Daryl Harper's performance during the South Africa v England series

som... how could you miss this comment of decade... :)

Som said...

SP, read that Barnes chestnut but confined my list to cricketers and officials only. Will extend the list further, accommodating Barnes.

Soulberry said...

5 and 6 are the best.

But what did Hayden mean by bosoms? Could he be drawing a distinction between the welcome accorded to Ponting and his?

Som said...

Soulberry, Hayden meant to say that he's India's bosom friend.

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