Rainbow chasing Poms dealt a raw IPL deal

Unscrupulous IPL cheerdealers have settled for the sunnier South African climes in the Rainbow Nation. But as anyone with an ounce of conscience left in his soul would agree, the Poms clearly had a more rightful right to host IPL II than the Proteas.

In their haste to settle for South Africa, Lalit Modi & Co failed to appreciate British PM Gordon Brown’s recent rejection of Chief Medical Officer Sir Liam Donaldson’s suggestion to hike booze price, undoubtedly a nefarious attack on Britain’s bottled tradition. Gordon suspects Donaldson was under the influence of alcohol when he made the remark.

At least Vijay Mallya should have pointed out the development to Modi but Doosra learns the Bangalore Royally Challenged owner was apparently too engrossed planning the shooting for the 2010 Kingfisher calendar to heed the development.

From logistics point of view, England clearly held an edge over South Africa, only if Modi could grasp. The fact is there was simply no need to fly in cheerleaders in UK. Denied pay hike, one million British nurses, midwives and doulas are ready to shake a leg and it was just a matter of bearing with their ages.

Being the most famous midwife himself – telling all the time how busy he is ‘delivering’ a world class IPL – Modi’s apathy towards his own tribe is simply appalling and borders on back-stabbing.

From socio-ethnic point of view, IPL simply missed a chance to become a landmark social movement. Mark my words, history will barbeque Modi for squandering a golden opportunity to set the British society right.

IPL matches in England would have lured the youngsters out of their homely comfort and curbed the beleaguered nation’s burgeoning teenage mother population. But Modi chose otherwise and the red-faced Brown government fears the depressed teens may go berserk after conceding IPL to South Africa.

And not to forget the legacy of Jade Goody. A goggle-eyed nation stuck glued to the idiot box following Goody till it became England’s national pastime. Goody’s premature demise has not only left vacant slots in the national prime time but also created a sudden void in the nation’s pursuit of morbid obsessions. British eyeballs are desperately seeking more and more deathly stuff and butchering of the bowlers called IPL would have perfectly fit the bill.

But again, Modi remained indifferent. And so was Shilpa Shetty, despite owing her fame, fiancé and twang to Goody.

Last but not the least, this was also IPL’s chance of shattering a local myth that has started spreading roots in the British collective psyche following England’s triumph in Providence by providence – that every win necessitates an arithmetically challenged coach in the opposition camp.