Limerick

There's this North Korea brandishing nuke
Which they bought or devised by some fluke
Their leader in Pyongyang
Rather fat, silly and young
Sports a hairstyle that makes many puke.

IPL Limerick

There is this Kohli of Delhi
Who has surplus fire in belly
To prove he's no sissy
He does MC-BC
The remarkable Kohli of Delhi.

16 incredible Ravindra Jadeja facts you didn’t know!

1. Ravindra Jadeja cracked the joke that made Mona Lisa smile. She otherwise was in a real foul mood;

2. Ravindra Jadeja doesn't smile, he's way above these emotions. He just checks in our eyes if his teeth are clean and bright;

3. Ravindra Jadeja walking on earth is an optical illusion. He actually handwalks on sky;

4. Ravindra Jadeja once got into a heated argument with a mute and used three blind beggars as eyewitnesses when the brawl reached court;

5. Ravindra Jadeja once scared a snake so much that it instantly developed legs and simply ran away;

6. Ravindra Jadeja once bowled an eight-ball over with eight different balls, which are still spinning. We call them planets;

7. Ravindra Jadeja wears his shades on his head to send the message to the aliens that he's constantly monitoring their movement;

8. Ravindra Jadeja is younger than his younger brother;

9. Ravindra Jadeja chews drinking water into atoms before swallowing them;

10. Ravindra Jadeja can wear his shoes first and socks later;

11. Ravindra Jadeja's hairs cut themselves;

12. Neil Armstrong was hesitant about stepping on Moon. Ravindra Jadeja pushed him from behind;

13. Ravindra Jadeja doesn't take a fishing rod to fishing. He just scatters his visiting cards on water and fishes reach his home;

14. Ravindra Jadeja has sung a playback song in a silent movie;

15. Ravindra Jadeja goes to a shop to sell things;

16. Ravindra Jadeja went to school so that others could study. Him.

Arnab Goswami Interviews Pope Francis!

AG: Welcome to News Hour and hearty congratulations.
Pope: God bless you, my son.

AG: Wait! What did you say? My son!
Pope: Yes, my son.

AG: How can you call me 'my son'? Am I your son?
Pope: Err, No.

AG: Are you my dad?
Pope: No.

AG: Then? Mr Pope, the nation wants to know why you called me 'my son'?
Pope: I don’t get you. I mean I'm the Pope and this is how I address all!

AG: Just because you are the Pope, you assume you have a birthright to call every perfect stranger your son? Who you think you are? ND Tiwari?
Pope: No idea what you are blabbering. And Mr Goswami, why you are hollering into my eardrum.

AG: That's better, 'Mr Goswami'. Way better. So Mr Pope...
Pope: Hang on, what? Mr Pope? Nobody calls me like that!

AG: Do you deny you are Mister? The nation is watching you, mind you.
Pope: No I don’t!

AG: Do you deny you are the Pope? Look, Times Now has accessed exclusive documents and chain of emails that prove beyond doubt that you ARE the Pope, Mr Pope. The game’s over, you can’t hide!
Pope: But I never said I'm not the Pope!

AG: For the first time, on Times Now, you admit you are Mister and you are Pope too. (Raises voice) Then why can’t I call you Mr Pope?
Pope: (Sotto voce) Man, they never told me I’ll have to spend an hour with a lunatic if I become Pope.

AG: Stop mumbling and explain the smoke.
Pope: Smoke? I don't smoke, son...err...Mr Goswami.

AG: Don't try to distract and derail the discussion. Explain the smoke that comes out of Vatican chimney after papal elections. Show me the no-objection certificate from the Pollution Control Board.
Pope: What?

AG: You can't escape me and my channel Mr Pope. You release smoke of every possible colour to signal various results of the election. I mean what age you guys live in? Do you know this is a serious violation of the Indian environment rules?
Pope: Jesus! But it happened in Vatican, how can it violate Indian law!

AG: So you mean air doesn’t travel? Mr Pope, air transcends boundary! Like Aman-ki-Asha! Before entering studio, I coughed like I'd die. How can you be so sure the same polluted smoke from Vatican has not travelled to Mumbai? Can you identify polluted Vatican smoke from polluted Indian smoke? Can you? You can't Mr Pope! Mr Pope...Mr Pope! Thought he was here with us!

Studio Crew: Sir, you started ranting at the camera and he crawled under the table and fled five minutes back.

5 Geopolitical Songs!

1. Tera mujhse hai pehle ka NATO koi.

2. SAARCailo khatiya jada laage.

3. NAM gum jayega, chehra yeh badal jayega.

4. EU to hum ne lakh haseen dekhe hai, tum saa naheen dekhaa.

5. Ek akela is sheher me....aabodaana dhoondta hai, ASEANa dhoondta hai.

5 Simple Joys Of A Guy's Life

1. Slipping a tattered, cellotaped currency note to one of those autowallas who fleece you on a daily basis;

2. Identifying the right passenger, anticipating his destination, positioning yourself accordingly and eventually occupying the seat he vacates, much to the envy of fellow commuters;

3. A pebble you casually threw hitting the lamp post bang in the middle and producing that sweet, musical sound you haven't heard in a long time;

4. Predicting a single digit score for Rohit Sharma and watching him living upto the expectations;

5. Realising your off day coincides with the last date for collection of contribution for the farewell of a colleague you don't really count among your pals.

20 Hindi Brand Songs!

1. Sarki chunariya re, Zara Zara...
2. Yeh andha Canon hai..
3. IBM-e-Batuta, bagal me joota...
4. GE karda bhai GE karda...
5. Dil mein mere hai Dard-e-Cisco...
6. Citi ayee hai ayee hai Citi ayee hai..
7. Yeh Honda kanun hai...
8. Aanewala Apple jaanewala hai...
9. Sony aa dil se mila de dil, just chill, chill...
10. Nike paan banaraswala, khul jaye bandh akal ka talaa...
11. Aaj me UPS, asmaan neeche...
12. SAPne me milti hai o kudi meri...
13. Prada hai Prada, Prada ke peeche Prada nasheen hai ...
14. Kuchh Kellog's kahenge...
15. Gucci Gucci Rakkamma...
16. AIG oji loji sunoji...
17. Matru ka Bijli Ka Motorola...
18. Dil ke Armani aansuo me beh gaye...
19. O Marriott o Marriott o Marriott ho ho ho...
20. Visa ho ya dil ho akhir tut jata hai...