Doosra Annual Awards 2010

Time for red carpet, stealth light, stretch limos, bowties, pinstripes and satin gowns.

Ladies, gentlemen and otherwise, here goes the Doosra Annual Awards 2010:

1. Alternative Food Promotion Society's Man of the Year: Shahid Afridi, for his pioneering ball-biting act;

2.Annual Boom-to-Boomerang Medal:Lalit Modi (He can't enter India, hence sent legal counsel to receive the award).

3. Ravana Reincarnation Medal: Shane Warne, for his wife-stealing act that prompted Arun Nayar to update his Facebook status back to singles;

4. Sholay Lovers' Association's Real Viru Award: MS Dhoni, for his inability to win toss; Dhoni also gets Ranchi Milk Supplier Association's special discount coupons and Hush-Hush Society's Man of the Year, for keeping teammates in dark about his marrige;

5. The Annual Shit-Midas Trophy: Greg Chappell wins third straight time to retain the rolling trophy. He ruined Australia this time;

6. The Fake Rajnikant Trophy: Daniel Vettori, who was captain-coach-selector of the NZ team that got whitewashed by Bangladesh.

7. Sri Lanka chapter of We Mean Mean Society's Mean of the Year: Suraj Randiv, for that century-denying no-ball to Sehwag.

8. George Bush Medal for Extraordinary Hurled-Shoe Ducker (largest nominations): Jointly to Tony Blair, John Howard, Asif Ali Zardari, Omar Abdullah and Neveen Jindal.

9. Promote Facial Growth Society's Man of the Year: Hashim Amla.

10. Houdini Act of the Year: Zulqarnaine Haider, for vanishing in Dubai and resurfacing in London.

P. S. Doosra Annual Awards 2009, 2008.

5 wonders that await Asif on his release

As Mohammad Asif packs his bag, hugs his new-found friends at the Dubai detention centre and heads for Pakistan, you cannot really rule out a Rip Van Winkle syndrome.

Cricket is no more the game it was when Asif was nabbed in Dubai and here are the five wonders that are bound to make him as hallucinated as he was at the time of his interception.

1. Kevin Pietersen switching on and off;
2. Brett Lee’s alternate profession as owner-cum-model for downmarket underwear;
3. Collingwood brandishing Trion-Z magic bracelets to counter Vettori’s smart-pant voodoo;
4. Appellate Tribunal decreeing that Shoaib Akhtar would be legally entitled to crack his bat on Asif's thigh in September 2009 and not in a distant 2013;
5. Sreesanth finally settling into a life without Harbhajan Singh and picking up a fight with hotel staff in Bangalore.

Image: AP

Slinga Malinga among sexiest men in cricket

Their looks seemed as unimpressive as their form. And once again, India and Pakistan were outshone by Sri Lanka.

In simpler terms, no Indian or Pakistani could make the cut as “Easy”, a Barbados magazine, carried out a "Sexiest Men in Cricket" poll.

For Sri Lanka, it was ‘Slinga’ Malinga, who featured in the elite league, along with Daniel Vettori, Kevin Pietersen, Chris Gayle and Shaun Tait.

Those who got honourable mentions were Brain Lara, Andrew Flintoff and Makhaya Ntini.

(Photo credit: Sahara Samay)

India A No-Hoper in Warne's List!

Shane Warne feels Australia is heading for a World Cup hat-trick even though both Sri Lanka and New Zealand can push them hard. South Africa, according to him, is disciplined but regimented while England is the dark-horse of the tournament. What about Rahul Dravid and Co.? Team India can eat their heart out for they simply don't feature in Warne's list of title contenders!

Warne does not read too much into Australia's recent slump in form and says the Aussies have a great chance of completing the Cup hat-trick. In his column for "The Times", Warne dubbed old foe Muttiah Muralitharan and Daniel Vettori the best two spinners in the World Cup and is even impressed by Kiwi rookie Jeetan Patel. Once again, Harbhajan Singh or Anil Kumble did not get a mention here.

The former leggie tipped Paul Collingwood, Murali, Stephen Fleming, Shane Watson and Michael Clarke to be Players of the Tournament and again he didn’t find any Indian good enough to be there. Leading run-scorer? Warne springs a surprise again. It's not Sachin Tendulkar, Mohammad Yousuf, Brian Lara or even Ricky Ponting. Instead, Warne places his money on Kiwi Lou Vincent!